This may be an unwelcome opinion
But
I hope you are proud of yourself, proud of your personality, proud of who you are, proud of what you've been through even if you don't like the way you went through it
And if you aren't, if you are ashamed, then I hope you have the guts to change it

Because you deserve to love yourself

Glide to the center
In your ghostly form
I could walk right through you
Like a wraith

It was a deeper shade
Than all the purples, all the purples before
They snuck in the edges
Of my vision

Like the sun
Setting into dark
They filled the abyss
With their chaos and color

If I was the lightning
Reflected in your eyes
I would be content
For I would always be with you

You crackle with electricity
But everywhere on this earth I touch
Turns to fire and ash
I dare not make you shine

For if I did
The world would burn
Into ashes and memories
And the tallest trees would crumble

You don't have a clue
How storms are made
Like your temper
They rise and fall

And like your dreams
They fade
Into a distant memory
A cold past

Every time I hear it
My spine shudders in recognition
My shoulders tighten like a rope
And I spark

Down the wires
I dance so merrily
Into your home, and heart
Through the walls I course

Nothing, but trouble and beauty
Like ice and salt I burn
When crushed in your hand.
A challenge.

You provoked me
Into the night and its darkness
I will return
In tenfold of clouds

And rain down
Until I reign!
You pull the reigns
And my tears rain

Like a bit in my mouth
These words are so sharp
I spit them out
And they foam

Like a rabid monster
I bit your heart
I wormed inside
And found my own way out

The small of my back
Damp with the sweat of my fear
The whole world
Thinking I am a star

I shine brighter
But not for you
Like a diamond on your hand
That you can't hold

But I found my courage at the bottom:
The bottom of the glass
The bottoms of the chasm
The bottom of your heart

I walked many halls
And the keys of your piano-forte
And then I fell
Like a crescendo

Black and white
I saw stars
Blue and purple
Around my eyes

They serve as a reminder
On my wrist
In your letters.
And every day

We don't forget
We just don't remember
Less and less
Until it's gone

When it's wrong its allowed
But we wouldn't say it out loud
So loud I couldn't hear
Until I got it out

We try to make it right
Wouldn't take what's left
Scared of what's behind
And the future much to near

So comfortable with the chaos
We hate it, until it's lost
I wanted so hard to find it
When that time came, you had changed

Your tentacles reach
And sting my skin
The lightning bites back
But it's to cold

Cold in my head
I can't shake out
Like a snow globe
With a pounding melody

I'm the wild one
With the blue eyes
With the knife
And the disguise

A mask of emotions
Ripped away
And the anger crackles forth
And wraps the earth in fingers of light

Go to sleep
With a solid belief
That love doesn't exist.
Awakened to a reality,

Where it was here
But it is destroyed
I know I had it
Now it's gone

It left it's mark
Like a hammer in my heart
And it got stuck
It wouldn't get out

I bite into the truth
And the regret trickles down my throat
The taste to bitter
To swallow

I checked
Every three minutes
For a new way to survive
But my patience wore thin

If you had a heart attack
I could jump you back to life
Rub my hands together
And dissipate the fates

But I do not think the fates
Would meddle with something as black as your heart
Like chalk on a white wall
You drew me in

And spit me out
Like you had swallowed fire
But I was already in your veins
Racing for your heart

you killed your queen
it was a ****** seen
you killed our love
and now I watch from above

How come I can never find what I am looking for
How come when I need someone they are never there
Why do lies come in packs
Why cant I do anything but look back
Who has time for the things in this world
Who knows what comes next
What is the pattern in the stars
What is the result of all this pain
Who hold my destiny in there hands
Who can stop the power of love
When will my heart break
When will my luck change

She is quiet
In all but her thoughts
Still in part it seems a curse
Do have a lame mouth
Paired with a mind that runs
A mile every minute

This still is why
She is so weary at heart
Though she dare not move
Or even rise in the morning
Though in her solitary mind
She has already encompassed
Every hardship in the world

she is silence
she is fear
but more than that
she is afraid

There is no fear of death in me
For I am merely passing
Out of one world to another
One of pain and sin
That holds only shadows of pure beauty
Obstructed by the ghastlyness
Of the imitation of perfection
Passing through on unto
To a world of revealed beauty
With the King upon his throne
Reigned in clouds of glory
Soon his arms will reach me
Oh the radiance of his face

2.2014.

It seems today is the first day
My mind is born into this body

my guardian angel is at one heck of a long red light

I don't live to make you regret everything
I live to make sure I don't regret anything

My wildest dream is this
That I would mean to you
What you have always been to me

Just because you love him
Doesn't mean that he is good for you
Sometimes looking for something better
Is finding yourself

you I have neglected
in the brightst of the days
and you the sun shone upon
with all it's glorious rays

you I have forgeten
when you I stood before
and you have I shut
like a heavy oaken door

you I will remember
for many days yet longer
and you I cannot erase
be  I weaker or stronger

you I will drown
in sweetest of memories
and I will be smokened
from the fire in the breeze

you I will set in grace
upon the shores of the blest
and you have earned your time
and much needed rest

you will depart
in the days yet coming
and you will return
I will watch for you running

you I will see
as you sprint across the sand
for you always remind me
life isn't planned