"zyprexa" poems - Hello Poetry

I’m toxic A little psychotic I take zyprexa, an anti-psychotic, I don’t know if it’s working My own fault though, I keep self medicating I take the pills they prescribe and they help but not when my mind is racing Speed, it’s ironic really Because it slows me down and I am able to function I can show affection and my emotions seep out of my bones But it causes everyone to leave me alone Is it my fault? Is it something misdiagnosed? I don’t know, I only know how I feel and I use when I don’t know how to deal Life is roaring rapids, I fall out and slowly drown from what has a hold of me I don’t know what else to do but self medicate Its another thing I use, a crutch When I can’t stand by myself and don’t reach out to anyone else I’ve lost my mind, I tell everyone I’m fine I’m always thinking of a line whether it be drugs or a rhyme I’m not kind on the come down and I hate my entire being when I’m rude to my mom If I were to have a clone I’d beat the **** out of myself and tell her what’s really wrong She makes sure I have what I need especially when I wretch my sadness all over the floor She never shuts the door in my face when I need a place, without her I would be misplaced One night she was shrieking and it doesn’t matter that she was drinking The feelings were in the air, they were something tangible that I could grasp without being an *** I saw sadness, rejection, neglect, frustration, anger although it’s a secondary emotion and that’s what she uses to mask her raw emotions I saw hatred, not for me, but the addict inside me She’s the only one who doesn’t call me crazy, she lays in bed with me when I feel like I’m not in control She does breathing exercises with me when I really just want to fall I make a lot of commotion and she still loves me as her son I am all of the above when on drugs, my heart still hurts but I’m full on love My family and friends have been pouring it into me and that’s the only thing keeping me going I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it again, without the love there’s no reason to be alive. Without the love, it’s failure to thrive. Without the love, I won’t survive.

0

Apr 8, 2021

Apr 8, 2021 at 1:26 AM UTC

codyjon

A moms love

I’m toxic A little psychotic I take zyprexa, an anti-psychotic, I don’t know if it’s working My own fault though, I keep self medicating I take the pills they prescribe and they help but not when my mind is racing Speed, it’s ironic really Because it slows me down and I am able to function I can show affection and my emotions seep out of my bones But it causes everyone to leave me alone Is it my fault? Is it something misdiagnosed? I don’t know, I only know how I feel and I use when I don’t know how to deal Life is roaring rapids, I fall out and slowly drown from what has a hold of me I don’t know what else to do but self medicate Its another thing I use, a crutch When I can’t stand by myself and don’t reach out to anyone else I’ve lost my mind, I tell everyone I’m fine I’m always thinking of a line whether it be drugs or a rhyme I’m not kind on the come down and I hate my entire being when I’m rude to my mom If I were to have a clone I’d beat the **** out of myself and tell her what’s really wrong She makes sure I have what I need especially when I wretch my sadness all over the floor She never shuts the door in my face when I need a place, without her I would be misplaced One night she was shrieking and it doesn’t matter that she was drinking The feelings were in the air, they were something tangible that I could grasp without being an *** I saw sadness, rejection, neglect, frustration, anger although it’s a secondary emotion and that’s what she uses to mask her raw emotions I saw hatred, not for me, but the addict inside me She’s the only one who doesn’t call me crazy, she lays in bed with me when I feel like I’m not in control She does breathing exercises with me when I really just want to fall I make a lot of commotion and she still loves me as her son I am all of the above when on drugs, my heart still hurts but I’m full on love My family and friends have been pouring it into me and that’s the only thing keeping me going I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it again, without the love there’s no reason to be alive. Without the love, it’s failure to thrive. Without the love, I won’t survive.

33

When cheaters and liars rise to the top of the polls When genocidal speech wanna be torturers let their goals unfold advocating killing relatives Something every drug lord knows When words don't mean anything Images are everything When words and images disconnect When words don't work It's what we call psychosis in the psych biz We're all thinking That can't happen here A cousin they call Germany Refined Civilized Educated Defined art Music Ethics Found out exactly what every **** head knows when you go too far There's gonna be advanced window patrol Getting out the duct tape Wrapping up the house Can't let any light in or out You may end up in leather restraints On a plastic sheet on a metal bed America better call the crisis hotline Stand in line for same day services 5150/Legal 2000/72 hour commitment Being a danger to self and others Rapidly becoming gravely disabled Hold on, I'll write that Hold now Bring out the atypicals Risperdal Zyprexa Serequil Take an Ativan Take a Zanax **** it take a ****** If you don't come back down now Find the ground You'll be okay In a decade or three The suffering of course Will be burns in the third degree Psychosis can be unkind All civilizations have their day Incline Recline Decline It can't happen here? Chaotic brutality knocking on the door You gotta know what's in store We need an intervention Breathe it back on in It can still be okay Reality check Words sometimes mean something And people sometimes mean what they say And though Images dissolve Evolve Fracture and split Those that are seeing and hearing What's going on are holding their breath Wondering how crazy it's really all gonna get.

0

Feb 24, 2016

Feb 24, 2016 at 10:30 PM UTC

sjr1000

Intervention

When cheaters and liars rise to the top of the polls When genocidal speech wanna be torturers let their goals unfold advocating killing relatives Something every drug lord knows When words don't mean anything Images are everything When words and images disconnect When words don't work It's what we call psychosis in the psych biz We're all thinking That can't happen here A cousin they call Germany Refined Civilized Educated Defined art Music Ethics Found out exactly what every **** head knows when you go too far There's gonna be advanced window patrol Getting out the duct tape Wrapping up the house Can't let any light in or out You may end up in leather restraints On a plastic sheet on a metal bed America better call the crisis hotline Stand in line for same day services 5150/Legal 2000/72 hour commitment Being a danger to self and others Rapidly becoming gravely disabled Hold on, I'll write that Hold now Bring out the atypicals Risperdal Zyprexa Serequil Take an Ativan Take a Zanax **** it take a ****** If you don't come back down now Find the ground You'll be okay In a decade or three The suffering of course Will be burns in the third degree Psychosis can be unkind All civilizations have their day Incline Recline Decline It can't happen here? Chaotic brutality knocking on the door You gotta know what's in store We need an intervention Breathe it back on in It can still be okay Reality check Words sometimes mean something And people sometimes mean what they say And though Images dissolve Evolve Fracture and split Those that are seeing and hearing What's going on are holding their breath Wondering how crazy it's really all gonna get.

71

Uh oh...have that feeling clean clean clean no sleep bo peep get busy on the ball clean he floors, clean the walls waiting for the pills to effect make me sleepy and tire uh oh the doc is fired round and round my motions go none to sleep none too slow tegretol doesn't work zyprexa is failing hands are busy hands are flailing mind is going 100mph think of next, I know not clean the bathub before it rots need a new car not done paying don't know what I am saying don't give way to seeing things don't get paranoid take your hormones your steroids don't listen if the tv talks go for a long walk if I had gas I'd drive and drive thanking someone I am alive alive and free, yes thats me It's late at night ten o'clock go to moms a boat dock want to cry but what for I am busy clean the door jam to music bug the neighbors around they will be yelling "turn it down" dancing in the living room head held high with a broom gotta go get busy fast have to do it now green moons and purple cows....

0

Nov 14, 2009

Nov 14, 2009 at 7:02 PM UTC

connie-rae-sebert

Mania

Uh oh...have that feeling clean clean clean no sleep bo peep get busy on the ball clean he floors, clean the walls waiting for the pills to effect make me sleepy and tire uh oh the doc is fired round and round my motions go none to sleep none too slow tegretol doesn't work zyprexa is failing hands are busy hands are flailing mind is going 100mph think of next, I know not clean the bathub before it rots need a new car not done paying don't know what I am saying don't give way to seeing things don't get paranoid take your hormones your steroids don't listen if the tv talks go for a long walk if I had gas I'd drive and drive thanking someone I am alive alive and free, yes thats me It's late at night ten o'clock go to moms a boat dock want to cry but what for I am busy clean the door jam to music bug the neighbors around they will be yelling "turn it down" dancing in the living room head held high with a broom gotta go get busy fast have to do it now green moons and purple cows....

55

I dreamt last night I often dream, A wyrd ship was bound from Holyhead, Wales To Spitzbergen, Norway Or some Such........... Melting Arctic place We moved around Inside, nightclubs, Alcohol, drugs a sense of not Belonging there. Then I awake Slowly at first, that Feeling, eyes Opening, consciousness registering surrounding Yes, this is remembered reality. Lazing on a Chilly afternoon. Zyprexa dreams make You shiver Effexor lullabies Cause cold stomach Fears in mornings; Or afternoons, if one is not to lie........ Don't lie, why bother The truth is so much...... simpler My mind recalls lines From songs The Pixies/Black Francis "Where is my mind?" Where indeed, Mr. Black The Beatles "She loves you" She does love me They are right, Thank my God..... I shiver and run for The kitchen, coffee And rivotril Makes ease, sooths me Even cigarettes are electronic now Thank you...it's better Mr. 21st Century, you're Quite the inventor An unopened iPad, Apple Air Steve Jobs 16 Gb He died, you know But that's the Beatles Apple Isn't it? You naughty boy Steve, Lennon and Harrison Must be scolding you In the V.I.P. afterlife where - Famous people go She rings me, I cannot walk, not yet My mind is still too full of Fears, and sharp edges But later perhaps I will. It's good to walk It lets your feet talk To the ground And the ground around here that is, is As good a place as any To ground oneself Is it not?

0

Mar 2, 2014

Mar 2, 2014 at 11:31 AM UTC

paul-thomas-galbally

Waking in dread

I dreamt last night I often dream, A wyrd ship was bound from Holyhead, Wales To Spitzbergen, Norway Or some Such........... Melting Arctic place We moved around Inside, nightclubs, Alcohol, drugs a sense of not Belonging there. Then I awake Slowly at first, that Feeling, eyes Opening, consciousness registering surrounding Yes, this is remembered reality. Lazing on a Chilly afternoon. Zyprexa dreams make You shiver Effexor lullabies Cause cold stomach Fears in mornings; Or afternoons, if one is not to lie........ Don't lie, why bother The truth is so much...... simpler My mind recalls lines From songs The Pixies/Black Francis "Where is my mind?" Where indeed, Mr. Black The Beatles "She loves you" She does love me They are right, Thank my God..... I shiver and run for The kitchen, coffee And rivotril Makes ease, sooths me Even cigarettes are electronic now Thank you...it's better Mr. 21st Century, you're Quite the inventor An unopened iPad, Apple Air Steve Jobs 16 Gb He died, you know But that's the Beatles Apple Isn't it? You naughty boy Steve, Lennon and Harrison Must be scolding you In the V.I.P. afterlife where - Famous people go She rings me, I cannot walk, not yet My mind is still too full of Fears, and sharp edges But later perhaps I will. It's good to walk It lets your feet talk To the ground And the ground around here that is, is As good a place as any To ground oneself Is it not?

70

You left me alone in the debris of your thoughts. You set me on fire and just let me burn, just like the rest of the useless things in this world. You kept shoving pills down my throat like xanax, synthroid, zyprexa and klonopin just to get me to change who I really am, but I don’t even know who I am. You kept telling me that I’m not good enough, that I’ll never be good enough. So I can’t get through a day without telling myself that I’ll never be able to succeed anything, that I shouldn’t even try. That’s probably why you left. My life was a lie upon many that I never chose to accept, because you said you loved me. You said you wouldn’t leave this time. But you saying you love me was just a figment of my own illusion because the next day you were off with some other girl. I won’t lie and say I’m fine because I only have 182 bones because you took my rib cage out just to get to my heart. I won’t say that my brain doesn’t think about you anymore because my memories of you takes up 2.6 petabytes of my mind, it’s overflowing. I drank every night just to eradicate you from my mind. I had a system overflow and I wasn’t aloud to reboot myself, I wasn’t allowed to erase you from my life. In my life we were perfect but in yours we were just a nervous wreck and when our bodies collide all you could think is how to end it. I guess you were never worth the brutal beating, or the left over beer bottles scattered around my room. Because now I can finally say I’m over you… Or at least I think.

0

Jan 30, 2016

Jan 30, 2016 at 2:19 AM UTC

panda-

Untitled

You left me alone in the debris of your thoughts. You set me on fire and just let me burn, just like the rest of the useless things in this world. You kept shoving pills down my throat like xanax, synthroid, zyprexa and klonopin just to get me to change who I really am, but I don’t even know who I am. You kept telling me that I’m not good enough, that I’ll never be good enough. So I can’t get through a day without telling myself that I’ll never be able to succeed anything, that I shouldn’t even try. That’s probably why you left. My life was a lie upon many that I never chose to accept, because you said you loved me. You said you wouldn’t leave this time. But you saying you love me was just a figment of my own illusion because the next day you were off with some other girl. I won’t lie and say I’m fine because I only have 182 bones because you took my rib cage out just to get to my heart. I won’t say that my brain doesn’t think about you anymore because my memories of you takes up 2.6 petabytes of my mind, it’s overflowing. I drank every night just to eradicate you from my mind. I had a system overflow and I wasn’t aloud to reboot myself, I wasn’t allowed to erase you from my life. In my life we were perfect but in yours we were just a nervous wreck and when our bodies collide all you could think is how to end it. I guess you were never worth the brutal beating, or the left over beer bottles scattered around my room. Because now I can finally say I’m over you… Or at least I think.

7