9/2/2014
dedicated to a certain human that lingers in the back of my head*

i think people are brought into our life
for reasons beyond our understanding

i think every person we meet somehow helps us to grow,
somehow makes us stronger,
somehow helps us realize something new about ourselves or the universe

and you were that person to me

you helped me through hell without even holding my hand
all you did was speak to me
and god it felt like every word
dug a flower's stem into my heart
every syllable came across as a melody
and without even meaning to,
you brought me out of my own damnation

i believe that we will always
have some sort of strong,
unspoken,
bond because of that

you told me i made you love life
and don't you know that's the best you could do for anyone?
and don't you know that you are the reason i may still stand utop my own two feet today?

i did not have to search for you,
i did not long for you,
you were simply tossed into my life by an unnatural absurd vibration,
a vibration that i have now begun to see,
and hear

darling,
without even meaning to,
you saved me from the abyss

i was walking on coals and you stopped to help me off,
you didn't mean to,
you were simply being kind

and i live for that kindness,
i live for this vibration,
and i live for you

because for every person that kicks me back down,
i will still,
always,
think of you

© Scarlet Van Allen 2014

Someday you are going to understand
Why it never worked or felt so perfect
With anyone else.

You will be given back every pen you
Have ever lost and everything you spent
So long being unable to say.

And when that day arrives you will set sail
Utop the world's most brilliant ocean
Waving goodbye to the shallow shore
Of loneliness you have grown so
Fond of.

There will be a new song stuck on repeat
Inside your already crowded mind
And a fire in your heart that will
Never go out.

At that moment Love will be
In your grasp. This is true love
This is it...

Everything you have ever wanted
Will soon be yours.

Time to blam jast this up in here.
No more sounds
only noise

Noses to mute the voices
The voices that make you feel bad
either because it's a lie
or it's true

I write this as I sit utop this black sky morning wondering,
"Is there a way to make the voices of pain go away."
As I type these words, I remember the incoherent noise that which is the endless buzz of emotionless music

But as I listen to the noise
I hear the emotion I once felt in a rymthic pattern of happy and clank

Clank
Bomb
Crass
Thud
Love
Tick
Bang
And now I remember the pain I once felt
But as a past

Not the now
the now is brighter than the yester

That yester which I may miss but I go on
Because we must be strong to move on from the past

listen to the noise of music and forget the pain that once hurt

Your eyes, were like the coast of the sea
I chased after them till I fell on my knee
You were humble, and I fell in love with thee
As I lay on my back, you were all I that I see.

Your lips moved, and my heart skipped a beat
The cherry on top; her sassiness was neat
As you laugh, I tingled to the base of my feet
My body is at peace utop of a green sheet.

Your custard skin, dulled with a bracelet
As you danced to the tunes, I dared to duet
As feelings went, contentness was rarely felt
I unconsciously wondered under my blanket.

How I wish that this dream came true
Or to not awake from such a winter flu.