Knotts Island 10:oo pm wedsday Feb 9 2011
It was like any other night spent at the doctors office slash
Dr Jerry's trailer.
Drink fine deep conversation about world events and *******.
I had went to the porch for some introspection and to take a ****.
Dear Lord Man!
What I saw was proof i had done way to many drugs and slipped yet into another rambling state of Gonzo.
White powder covered the ground it was a gift from Jesus or Elvis really whats the diffrence?
Hunk a hunk burning clap it was pouring ******* from the sky !
I burst through the door like Lindsy Lohan fresh outta rehab
Jerry !
Gonzo!
Jerry!
Gonzo!
What are we yelling about Jerry?
I dont know but zip your pants up.
I know your a **** but I dont need to see it as proof.
Jerry a doctor a fellow brother of Gonzo
and true deep thinker.
****** man what was i gonna say i really need to lay off
the drink ******* Dr Pepper.
Well smack my **** and paint me purple and sell me to the Canadians.
dont ask.
Jerry good lord man look outside its a true miricle.
Now only if it would rain strippers and wild turkey.
That would really be proof the easter bunny existed!
Jerry shaking his head for he knew his drugged out mental asylum bound friend with a heart of gold or at least bronz needed some alone
time in a padded cell looked out the window.
See i told you !
It's ******* snow Gonz ya *****.
snow what the hell's that I thought to myself while speaking
out load on a poetry site where people think what the **** is wrong with him.
****** I should go outside more than once a year.
these seasons really throw me off like Skeeter on
a cold night.
****** i told you not untill you pay for last time ******!
She was a true lady just wish she took credit.
After a breif explanation time travel and where babies come from.
Dr Jerry returned to his favorite hobby surffing facebook
for underage ***** hey dont judge how do ya think i met my wife?
Yeah man look at this one amigo sent me a friends request.
Jerry showed me a pic of a hot looking chick
and being she was good looking and talking to Jerry ment either
two things.
One the Gonzo On facebook page was down due to such high traffic
cause im super awsome.
Dork you got like 14 friends.
Jerry went back to looking at the computer screen.
ha ha ha ha ha *** not funny.
Cyberperve!
I know you are but what am I?!
****** man he always get's me with his mature 40 something living
in his grandmas back yard logic oh snap girlfriend.
Or Two this little monkey was really a ****** or a mormon
whats the diffrence but enough with the foreplay children.
Jerry sat deep in thought and four **** hits and ten shots of turkey later sat the puzzled.
Amigo what do i say to break the ice?
The lights dimmed a voice from the heavens spoke or New Jersy
John Tesh apeared from the closet ****** man i thought i herd really boring music from there i thought the rat poisen would get him for sure.
When thought's are blured and both hands are busy.
When you just cant seem to find the words to break the
ice to that hot little hamster across the net,
Take that extension cord from around your neck and get
head out the oven dam you Slyvia Plath.
Just call dah da da dah da or however it ****** goes
sorry i dont watch super hero movies although
I need a pair of thoose tights.
IT'S A JOB FOR GONZO.
Move aside silly girl I'll break the ice for you!
Umm no Gonz thats okay Jerry replyed in that no
but it means yes seductive five packs of cigs a day
sandpaper voice of his.
Trust me Jerry Im a writer and i know how to
talk to the ladies yes my friend how they do love Gonzo
Oh they pull out there pepper spray fire there guns
but inside they have a thirst for crazy.
No Gonz it's okay.
Dont mention it Jerry.
Gonz !
Jerry !
Gonz!
Jerry!
What the **** were we talking about and why the ****
are you in my lap!
Good question my friend but least your happy to see me.
At the keys the master or insane half wit began his
works of geinus this would break the ice for sure!
Dear Sarah
Wow all I can say is me likey.
And may I say that sweater really brings out your *******.
We should get togather and talk bout things
while naked in bed to bare are souls.
Something about me.
My name is Jerry im superbadass hells yeah.
I like drinking other peoples beer i can bench like a
thousand pounds.
I have a big tv. What get your mind outta the gutter!
Lets drop the small talk you know ya want it why fight it.
Let that inner tigress out meow kitty
Lets get naugthy and do things to make us both
purr in the litter box.
Kisses Dr Jerry giggles and a gay *** emicon,
xoxoxo.
Yeah I know what your saying no wonder im such a ****.
And no wonder i have to pay for *** and im always alone.
After some mock tears and a snuggle we waited for I know a
turned on little nymphs reply.
Hey Kids it's time to play are favorite snow game.
car surffing in the blizzard cause im a drunken idiot
okay that kinda hurt.
Driving around the mean streets of KI hopping officer
Rutherford was off duty or searching some drunk woman
looking for some goodies hey I wonder where my sister is?
We at the rip roaring speed of 10 miles a hour What ?!
Hey saftey first that and the snow made it really hard for Jerry to hold onto the roof and pass the bottle.
We laughed we cried we lit are farts and made a beautiful
snow sculpture of two snow people getting freaky right in the middle of the road hey kids blame it on the Beatles.
After we took out a few mail boxes stole a few garden gnomes
And taught a jaded soul how to love agian we were
back at the office slash trailer in jerry's grandmas backyard
yes to think he's really come a long way since the tent.
By the warmth of the fire music and fine drink to
match are deep conversation.
Hey dude ya think think that extenze stuff really works?
And if so if you took a lifetime supply could you answer the door without getting outta bed?.
The knock at the door was sudden.
****** man I knew it! Snow monkeys hide the
penut butter and put on some Kenny G!
Hey **** Kenny G
Dam you John Tesh Go back into the closet where you belong!
Jerry looked at me as he usally does.
Like this ******* really needs some shock treatment.
Talk about a charge.
After Jerry assured me it wasnt the artic monkey's come to take there revenge and promised to read me a bed time story what!
I have a inner child oh was starved of kickass stories.
Like Jack And The Beanstalk ,Catcher And The Rye,Or Debbie Does Dallas.
I opened the door to see a large angry looking man
with a axe in his hand hmm dam lumber jacks there always
on the job.
Are you the perve that wrote my 13 year old daughter that perverted
email on facebook?
Oh no im Gonzo im the other pervert who writes really long rambling stories on a a poetry website that arent really poetry
or very good,And drinks alot and doesnt make much sense
Yet always bring a laugh to demented people across the globe
cause yeah im super bad ***...
The man stood unfazed gritting his teeeth *******
me with his eyes hey it's cold okay.
Uhh no sir that's the perve your looking for over there
looking at your daughters pics hey ****** man we have
company stop that.
I made my exit to the sound of screams it was like
a pit bull was latched onto a girl scout the agony
Well looks like things were off to a good start Jerry was already meeting Sarahs parent.
No need to thank me Jerry
Remember kids if ya need a little help in time of need.
Look no further than Gonzo.
Slower than a fast moving virus.
He can leap small dwarfs and some short big girls in a single bound
kinda.
Gonzo fly's of into the night in a epic soon to be forgotten.
B movie moment.
Stay Crazy.
Look Im flying. **** tree!
Splat , Crash, Boom Ouch Shitfire And Flying Monkeys
Next time I'll take a cab.
Adios Amigo's
Id like to thank the academy.
Blues clues Bigfoot.
Skeeter for passing out that one night and not waking up or at least not charging.
and to think i took screen writting and they had the nerve to
tell me i was crazy and id never find anyone who thought this was funny.
you like me your really like me well kinda and you thank God i dont
live nextdoor.
The credits roll Gonz and Roses play.
He's just a small island nut job living in a naughty minded world.
He took the midnight train and as the semi hot hurled.
Yeah held here hair.
Dont stop reading.
Hang to that ***** feeling .
Just not in public or it can get ya trouble im just saying.
Thank you Detroit
FIn
STAY CRAZY