some men got a woman.
some men got a man.
me, I just got a guitar.
lord, how I love my one man band.

shalimar's my guitar.
shalimar, she's my strings.
when I get to crying,
that's when shalimar starts to sing.

first line lips are false as a beach next mcarthur’s in chicago next the big blond takes the elevator down next pearl on the lip next shalimar stirs the canine **** all right I like that let’s start a new one do it what what do you have don’t **** up wheres the apostrophe ******* you’re cruel now back now whack it again whack it again I want it to go back whack it press it whack it okay new line

i want elevator i want uh i want don’t ask the bellboy for the time just take the elevator to what? to notions? to the lingerie shop? ah ******* grandma new line

all right one more time okay **** the gin-socked tongue that’s “soaked” period once again the elevator down paint the pretty tie (cough cough) thai next big buick big *** like fish put a ? after fish take it back take it back you ***** okay that’s not bad you do all right ah **** song of india in the desert at night put “” marks around song of india & desert song in capital letters hit shalimar then cadillac red lips then **** like a seashell with a gin-soaked tongue start new line

all right does mcarthur stick his socks in the bathtune at night that’s bathtub the dog howls at the moon buries it in the backyard snakes lose their skin cocoa butter slick water on the brain of the big dark blond song of india **** **** **** big fish *** big v8 you ***** keep up with me painted rocks like a pretty tie fast car long legs and a broken heel now dead no not dead yet um estee lauder goes down on price-waterhouse in a swedish bath bellboy watching this is his reflection in the mirror no silver one-sided next line

big blond trampled by elephants with wrinkled knees starch is not chic all gone shalimar stirs the k-9 **** sequined *** in the moonlight cadillac red lips hungry dog eats tail becomes himself bad dog play dead okay what do you suggest bad doggie bad comma bad comma hungry dog go for the tongue you dumb ***** keep going new line

what do cactuses(i) have??? fronds fur what are their things called new line

dog hates gin go for the breast stupid ***** good dog dry dog poor dog pour blond water of life **** yellow a thai like painted rocks period next

i want head down legs up i want sequined *** only ****** level damp dampened dampest ***** panorama **** **** **** blue blue down there feminine azure with clouds too got it odalisque in blue period have mercy on me no no new ******* line what are you filling that thing up with okay stop it for now

Shalimar

Turquoise, luminescent
The waves pound tirelessly in
A coated fossil / gleams
from just beneath
And/ as the firs bend in the steady breeze
The light skewers the clouds, boldly.

Your laugh has a razor edge today
And your eyes are marbles, too
Reflecting the embers of the fire
Now growing cold
You light another match
it blazes gold!

...then blue hue returns
as if undisturbed
I watch closely
as the sands are submerged
Laughing still...
You always were a showman

It was then that you leaned toward me
and pronounced your love
Coral meets coral
I await a bountiful coronation
Doused in Shalimar and kisses
Silk transgressions/Cotton-made roses

This brings forth another memory
Equally jarring, though sweet all the same
Magnolias lined the walls of our house
Where Ivy once tried to climb
A glacial winter saw them off
Leaving our fragile home unbound

Your thin, tragic heart
Weighs heavy in my supple hands
But I cannot muster for long...
Enshrouded by moribund fingers
Time slips on, falling deeper, again
Velocity/pulls against my bones

You call against the hammering wind
Noiseless words halt like statues
My wordless adversaries hunker down
In my delirium they offer no solace
I reach for the glass/blindly
Seeing only sun and rain  

This is where I tread backwards
Fearing the mantle you now bestow
And as I do my love rages
For it knows I must relent
The (multitudinous) seas have consumed me
The waves took me in, gladly

Yet another memory -vivid this time
- Is fired into my sleeping mind
Diving deep into the cosy bay
You said fortune favours the ‘old’
But in these trees you are lucent
In my tears you are bold

My haunted love was your epiphany
Between the luminaries we shared
Impervious to any real pain
False soirées and canapés
Ignite the reverence swelling within me
Delight me again before I can remember

Your arms obstruct the light
A new day calls me/A harbour is prepared
The firs are swaying again
Do I take the Royal Path?
Or follow your cardinal ways?
Reflections are not always this real

I shifted out of the sun
And as I rose my feet left the earth
I spoke but my words hung in the air
Fashioned from the depths
Waiting to be emboldened
Then, they traversed the oceans between us

Reaching you as you turned to stone
Some lay dormant, forming a quiet valley of death
Your ghostly eyes looked at me, earnestly
And though my words were still ice
several burst through the void / and
even to my own surprise, said - "I love you too"

i have spent the last three days humbled
on hands and knees, relinquishing all of myself
into the welcoming mouth of the toilet seat.
i don't know what is wrong with me.
i havent seen you for a while but i am certain that you hate me.
i can't help but think that this is my fault,
wonder if i should be giving more of myself-
something other than mucus and bile.

i look back on the day that i cut my hair,
embarrassed that all i had to give you was
a lock of it, a small insignificant piece of me, knowing that
you wouldn't have accepted all of me if i had offered.
i don't know how to show you that i've tied myself to you,
that you now possess a piece of the last nineteen years of my life.
i bet you threw me in a drawer or underneath the bed,
let me drop unnoticed behind the bookcase:
out of sight, out of mind.

i now know what lovesick looks like
although it is not the kind of love (or sickness)
that you would accuse me of being capable of. it is more like a mother
ripped away from her suckling child
by the guilt instilled in her through a man's laughing eyes.

i wish i could leave this body,
fly away to worlds untouched and forget you, but
i am still learning that we are rooted to this earth by hatred and hips,
destined to be left behind,
no lumps of flesh to save us,
flapping behind our backs or between our legs.

and when hagar looked down upon his beautiful face and froze,
i'm sure she contemplated driving that knife
in the centered nook right below her own ribcage,
confused as to which she should aim for:
the heart or the womb,
both equal conspirators in her shame.

My heart... Oh my aching heart. It just sits in the palm of her hand, barely beating. I thought she loved me... With all the things we've been through, I could have sworn she loved me. I close my eyes and let the tears flow.

"I thought you loved me..." I whisper/sob, gasping for air. Why did you have to make my biggest fear come alive?

"Poor baby. It's called a lie!" She laughs wickedly and begins to squeeze my heart. I cry out in pain, trying to scoot away from all of this.

"Stop..." I plead, scratching at my chest as her fingers clamp harder around my dying heart, my breath shallow.

"Why? I never cared. If anything you bored me to death. All you wanted was attention." She says slyly, a smirk on the beautiful face I once loved. I still love...

"Why did you have to lie to me? Play me?" I cough up blood, sobbing harder.

"Because I' m not the person you thought I was, Shalimar. I want more. You were never enough. Worthless to me. You never helped me through all the **** I was going through like you thought you did. You never made me truly smile. You were always a useless B-"

That's when I wake up, my heart beating fast and sweat covering me. I look beside me and see her sleeping calmly, a beautiful smile on her lips that I know so well. I sigh and lay closer, snugging into the familiar arms I finally have back.

She snorts and nuzzles into my neck, molding into me like we used to. I close my eyes and smile weakly, falling into a lovely dream.