I glaze a look at the street, from

our apartment window.



You are coming slowly, teetering

one leg in front other, with back slightly hunched forward,

burdened with sleepless nights and yesterday’s undones.

Vibrant spirit once you had is lost, tossed among crowded

train wagons, useless meetings and broken deadlines.



One vein in the left corner of your forehead, swells, pulses in the rhythm

of your dark, fuddled thoughts as unremitting, sprouting baldness

reflects evening lights.



Still, I smile,

for you are here, with me in all this madness

we call life, half diced with wants and haunts that braid

every tomorrow we greet together.



I would like to put you in a different frame, picture of

nor “Yeses” nor “Nos”,

just us, being us, each moment celebrating

without lamenting for what “ifs” or “shoulds” and “coulds”.



Still, I smile,

as  I watch you battle your restless leg syndrome,

wrestling to sooth demanding expectations,

lifted bars for higher remunerations, in constant marathon

of best comparison,

for you care, you dare.



I take your hand with eyes of approval,

life’s ****** and gigolette,

ready to play each day’s illusive roulette.

Amazing is this little human heart,
small n sensitive as a lark.
But has a will most stubborn,
keeps trying n hoping till the last spark.

Never backs down from anything it desires,
kindles that burning internal fire.
Achievable or not it doesn't matter,
until the decided is achieved it will never tire.

But sometimes things don't go the way they are supposed to,
there tough corners n turns in life one has to negotiate.
There may be times of extreme joy n happiness,
then again there are times when you're just not favoured by fate.

The heart can be played with,
hurt and at times broken into a million pieces, all cause expectations are not met,
Its then when it needs to understand that some things are not meant to be,
and some things just aren’t worth the regret.

It must learn that one encounters both joy and pain,
neither of which will forever stay.
It’s no point chasing happiness or for that matter avoiding the fear of getting hurt,
one can never enjoy life truly from the bay.

Its no point shedding a handful of tears,
wasting a few moments for those unfulfilled expectations.
Or for those who weren't after all really near,
for all those moments lost life owes you no remunerations.

Take the joy n good moments in,
little heart never fear from doing anything.
It must be realized that trials n tribulations you will encounter,
but around the corner surely then a larger joy will make you go rig-a-ding-ding.

You understand this and you will be well off sweet heart,
never regret or get upset.
Rather live the moment at hand like you're never going to get it back,
for that moment all your pain n worries to forget.

In life you may not be prepared for one too many things,
sometimes you will sail with ease and yet others you may not.
Don’t get discouraged then or hold on to what has passed,
Move on, the remorse ain’t worth a memory or even a thought...

It's like everyone is screaming 'cause they don't wanna seem crazy,
Needing to be heard, yearning in mind - but body's lazy
We think too much, hurt so much, then just get super hazy.
Then wondering why we don't do what we wanna do on the daily.

Show up, clarify your needs, and get your dreams made
You're the only one who can do the work  to get paid
Does the universe have to sound the alarm like an air raid?
Or are you too busy dickin' around tryna get laid?

There's nobody I know that wants to navigate social situations
Emotional labour is one of the heaviest on our patience.
Looking around, we're searching for our next tempations.
Huffing about saying we're deserving of our remunerations.

Some times Ds get degrees - fiddy dat, yo.
And Fs are just a sign that learning comes slow.

All imposters in our out mind
nothing but a soul's bind
searching outside you won't find
what truly appeases the grind

all the expectations from being such a filthy ****** with a design-thinker's mind my whole life. I will never appease the beast inside, but at least I'm submitting for her approval now instead of the run-and-hide.