I remenise my pain
How it was lined up
Grew up misleaded
by my own mom though
don't like her
because I was mistreated
So how was I wrong?  
I never asked for birth
She act like it's my fault
when i ask why she starts getting ralled up
She never cared that's my lesson
She wished me dead through a message
False love and neglection
Want attention get regected
I don't hate her
I forgive her apology
even though she never said it

Your eyes are a sea of blue.
I'm so blue that I can't have you. Touching me
I miss how you'd play with my fingers with your fingers.
You'd put each finger between mine and grasp them tight. I remember how you said we'd be like john Lennon and yoko. Young love, Young hearts, a young man and a young girl so naive. Thinking that nothing could tear us apart. The winter came and we nestled in bed all day. When summer came we rushed to the park to play. I remember the day you told me you were leaving. I just crumbled
Like the bread the ducks were eating. My heart was blown into the wind like a dead leaf. I helped you pack for college, I threw in my favorite tee shirt thinking you might return it someday. I knew some boy would see you in class reading and he'd sweep you off your feet. There is no way I could stop it. Now as I smoke this cig and remenise I really wish I had that tee shirt back. I wonder if he's wearing it on his back, while your playing with his fingers and he's watching those blue eyes that I once looked into. I guess all I can do now is pray you donate it to a thrift store and I run into you while your trying to give away my love that I sent with you that day.

There is someone that a thank you maybe not enough
A cut with a knife and making my blood flow may not sufice
She did something that no one can ever do
What she did is like Gods hand changing the sky from red to blue
She made the dead **** turn into a beautiful rose
Life is dark when you see it through my eyes
But in your eyes light grows ever so pretty
My life was all full of lies
No one i trusted showed me the pleasure of being alive
It was easier for me to die and leave the world behind
I saw the patients die in front of my eyes and wandered why cant it be me who doesnt get revived
I have always wondered why these thoughts are in my mind
Why do people love me and say i am kind
Do i deserve what i get or am i just trying to be happy and leave the world behind
I know my thoughts are crazy but i cant control my mind
I love people althought i know i am bound to be hurt
Depression Depression thats my story
I know you try to hold my hand and comfort me til the morning
But i am still fed up of fighting for glory
Maybe its time to hang the white flag above my chest
I know this is hard to hear
But i am done living in fear
I am done living in pain
Maybe it should be a start of a new year
Time to let the time pass
And through everything out in the sea
Let me become a blood bath
I should not think negative i do agree
But you once showed me the way to be free
You told me take my wings and fly away
Your words were encouraging but what you did was the key
I appreciate and remenise every single day
Now i understand the meaning of living
And how i should looked at myself in peples eyes
I should not stop givving
Even if people dont realize my size

Would you just listen?
See things from my position.
I get ****** when I realize how we don't kiss.
An unspoken wish.
Remenise in mutual bliss.
I always miss what does not exist.
A commitment is not that hard to resist.
Every year I get older, your shoulder feels colder.
Souls descend toward the clouds.
Watering skies when angels cry.
Raining snow a misery we all know.
The rain can't wash away your blame.
A storm of raindrops, relentless never stop.
Water that is chosen to be frozen.
Ocean waves crash & misbehave.
People drowning can't all be saved & sink to a watery grave.
Sea shells don't float to the surface.
Instead they sink to the bottom. In winter, spring, summer, or autumn.

fine.
i'll open me up.
take a glimpse before the doors close.
fear not if you did not make it,
come back...leave a note
there's nothing here to be sold.
only sights to behold.
stories written on walls
now smeared.
dead and gone,
became memories not fond enough to be sung.
these memories
stanzas
that frequently get out of hand.
as I build these castles on dry sand
knowing they'll slip away.
only when time has her say.
this I rely on to keep forgotten memories away.
so just know when you come,
prepare for pure bliss.
love is abundant
and this place you will miss.
your mind will remenise
on how to obtain
happiness just like this.