Witchy Poo

Mary had a little lamb
She made chops out of it,
Ate it 'till she was sick
Her ******* felt like ****.
So she went to the Wicked Witch
To solve her ******* drama,
With a wand up her ****
Like a banana in a farmer.
With a poke and a shove
The witch knows the soul is hers,
But it's the only way
That this sickness can be cured.
There was a sinister bump
A noise was close by,
The witch looked through the window
Humpty Dumpty was outside.
Witchy Poo got angry
And cursed the dumb egg,
That one day she will get him
And that he will crash down dead.
So Humpty ran off
And told The Kings Guards,
Witchy Poo is in trouble
She's a fugitive at large.
Hiding in the mountains
Hearing Humptys cries,
Sitting on the wall
Blabblering Witchy Poos crime.
So she came down from the mountain
As quietly as she can be,
Sneaked up behind him
Climbing a tree.
Then she pushed Humpty off
From the high wall,
He hit the ground
And splattered on the floor.
Climbing down from the tree
The witch ran away,
Hiding in the caves
Doing her wicked ways.
While looking through the mountains
A guard spots some loose weeds,
Chopped them out of the way
And his eyes trickled with greed.
There was a hidden door
And he opened it up,
Looked inside
And he thought, what a grub.
He saw the witch
Snoring so loud,
His sinister grin
Was making him proud.
The guard thought to himself
Saying, the ***** will get it today,
I'm going to be rich
On a nice pay day.
So the guard told The King
The place where the witch hides out,
Squealing to the pigs
While eating with their snouts.
The King ordered a search
For this menace to the crown,
Wanted: Alive
So she can be burnt down.
The search party went out
And found the witch,
The guards came back with some casualties
And in shackles, the menacing *****.
Then The King announced to his kingdom
That the witch will be sentenced to death,
Then she was thrown into the dungeon
Waiting for the end of this mess.
Torturing the witch
In cruel and horrible ways,
Telling her she is going to suffer
So she better pray.
As the days goes on
Then The King set a date,
Proclaiming
"She's gonna be burnt on August 28th"
There was a shout of joy
As everyone was happy,
Except for the witch
Locked up, feeling ******.
Rats at her feet
Chewing off her toes,
Cockroaches all around her
Cursing all her foes.
Starving and weak
Hanging from a chain,
Screaming to The King
To go and grow a brain.
Weeks have now passed
It is now the date,
That the witch will now die
Burning is her fate.
So they unchain her
She is so weak and tired,
Dragged her out of the dungeon
Her brain is all wired.
As they bring her out of the door
The sun hits her face,
Blinded by the light
Coming out at a slow pace.
With no toes on her feet
Stumbling and pushed around,
Rocks are being thrown at the witch
By everyone in town.
Tied the witch to a stake
Wood and hay underneath,
The witch is getting taunted
Yelling insults at the beast.
The King watches on
And raises his hand high,
Then drops it suddenly
Meaning it was time for her to die.
The Kings Men got their torches
And started the fire,
Witchy Poo started screaming
It smelt of burnt tires.
Burning and scorching
The witch is now a charcoal corpse,
Then everybody was celebrating
And their minds warps.
As they drink lots of wine
The Kingdom is now safe,
From the evil Witchy Poo
Who messed up this place.
Singing songs of praise
About how Witchy Poo died,
Here how it goes
And the story aint lies.

Humpty Dumpty
Sat on the wall,
The Witch pushed him off
And he splatted on the floor.
The peasants were yelling insults
The Kings Men had the fire,
Burnt The Witch at the stake
Because she was evil and a liar.

And that was how Humpty really died
And how Witchy Poo got fried.

Tommy K
(2013)

I ate hot meals,
I brushed my teeth day and night,
I spent long hours on the mobile
with friends,
I wore well laundered clothings,
Not a single crease or a stain on them,
Before motherhood.
My home was ***** and span,
No stumbling on scattered toys,
No ***** window panes,
No tiny hands holding my skirts,
No one  eagerly waiting for me on the doorsteps,
No spits,pukes, pees or poos to clean,
No teared  eyes to wipe,
No tiny bundle to hold in my arms,
Getting love,warmth and satisfaction in return,
Before motherhood.
I was in control of myself,
Of my mind and thoughts,
Caretaker of my own body,
Spending hours to enhance my beauty,
To maintain grace and elegance,
Before motherhood.
Now I am a mum,
I don't mind if my hair is disheveled,
My house is a bit messy,
I am exhausted,
For the reward of a hug, a kiss
and those endearing words,"I
love you mum,you are the bestest." completes me.

I poo how 'bout you?
Are you someone that poos too?
Life is but a flush

the nice tommy carter



tommy carter was a kid who was a bubbly little cool kid, who used to hit people on the backs

and he had a very good imagination, which sometimes got the better of him, you see all his friends

played fun little games with tommy, saying you are weird tom, you are weird tom, you see tommy’s father

and mother were so nice to him, you see they will treat him like a little bubbly little cool kid, which got

tommy’s llittle bro ernie so jealous of him, you see ernice teased tommy a lot, he said, you are a little spas boy

tommy and tommy teased ernie by making ernie move around in circles, you see tommy was a tad different

in the fact that when people teased him, like saying, what’s that, your still getting teased, what’s that your still getting teased

and then tommy’s dad noticed that the teasing was really affecting tommy and decided to stop being the cool man

and he labelled himself a little quiet man, or a yepyoubigfuckheadyeahmanbop, which is a very together person who

doesn’t understand that tommy wanted to be a cool kid back then but he found it hard to understand why

was his dad changing his lifestyle, ya know changing his way of life, you see tommy liked going to the march

with his dad, so he as well as his dad can pay their res[ect to the fallen diggers, on anzac parade and tommy’s dad

played santa claus at the local mall, and tommy’s mum took tommy and ernie to see him as santa, and tommy’s dad

at easter time, used to lay all the easter eggs out  so tommy and ernie can go to church and then go hiome

and get ready to search for the easter egg hunt, and i know they lived in australia, but that didn’t stop tommy dressing

tommy and ernie into halloween clothes and go around door to door saying trick or treat, this made tommy happy

as he got the most treats and make ernie very jealous and then tommy and ernie helped their mother serve out meals for the homeless

and tommy learnt that the homeless are very interesting and nice people and tommy made a few mates as he was serving the

meals, and let me tell you, that the big annual christmas party was the best, tommy was forced to dress up as santa

to spread christmas cheer to all the poor people, and tommy wears his grandfather’s medals at anzac day ceremonies

and decided to post the anzac day march on youtube, and another thing too, ernie got tommy into playing footy in

the front yard and a few mates from tommy’s school gave tommy a serve thinking he was CRAZY, playing around loud outside

but tommy didn’t care, and started to commentate his loud voiceover to his footy game, and tommy’s dad can’t really cope with

loud children, tried to show his army discipline to calm his two sons tommy and ernie, and he said, my two sons are enjoying life

playing footy in the front yard, and because tommy and ernie’s vdad really liked quiet people decided to have a cat fight with tommy

he called tommy a fool and he called him a silly clot, and he also said, the reason why i do this cause i love you tommy and i love both

of my two sons, i am trying to settle you 2 down, so tommy’s dad went into tommy’s room and tickled him and gave him a round the room

piggy back, and as he tickled him, he said, tickle tickle tum tum tickle tickle too, tickle;tickle tum tum tickle my two sons yo hoo

and this made tommy very excited as he was feeling the very big boney fingers of his father, press into his stomach, and as his father

tickled ernie, ernie laughed as well, but when tommy met johnno, who said be like us, and johnno partied with tommy and spoke to ernie and

ernie said to johnno tommy poos his pants and he talks to himself and johnno laughed along with ernie and tommy said, you are a *******

a really big *******, i make the first mate who liked me for me, and you spoil it ernie and ernie said ha ha tommy is a loser, baby, you can’t change me

and tommy was upset so he crawled through the drainpipe and he portended he was kidnapped and thrown into a garbage hopper by some drinkers

in a near by pub, and tommy lied to johnno, saying he got mugged, just to have johnno walk home with him, because tommy was a tad scared

of what bad guys will do to him, and johnno said, don’t be shy, be one of us good guys, be one of us good guys buddy, and now he watched the

anzac day march, tommy wanted to pay his respects to the fallen diggers and every april 25, wild horses couldn’t get in the way of tommy going

to the march to pay his respects and he is ready to enjoy everything that his dad taught him, now tommy’s dad his dead. tommy still wants to be

a bubbly little cool kid, but he isn’t a kid

I have a schoolboys sense of humour,
Oh yes it's true, it's not just rumour,
I always laugh at bums and willys,
It's immature and very silly,
I cannot help my humours taste,
I try to keep it above the waist,
Yet down the slippery ***** I slide,
This 'Carry-On" sense of humour of mine,
Farts, poos, **** the crudest jokes,
Belong much more to bad *** blokes,
Double meaning things that people say,
Is my specialist subject anyway,
Even though I know it's daft,
I do enjoy a ****** laugh :)

Lately I am quite bothered by an
Innocent comment from a friend
Who explained, how he only obtains
Pain, when he reads what my pen

Gets sent, from an end
my mom Says was damaged at birth
And all though it's a joke. I'm told
Every joke contains truth, so first

Let me warn you of the absurd
Outbursts that may occur as u read
Hyperboles, that fabricate trolls that
patrol, with holes in their soul, lead

With similes that prove chivalry
Has now shriveled like these
Two nuts, hidden by my gut so if I
erupt, and ****** proceeds

Excuse the poetic **** bleed;
That are like a *******'s **** beads
But it's how I express what's painfully painful to me, don't be **** please

With that said, so I can now tread.
And wrap my head around the topic
explaining, why all my poetry
is sad, and often

It's cuz life is a beach, like the tropics
And when it's not, to be honest
I get lost in the moment, but also
When I try to write "happy" it's novice

And is more narcissistic garbage
Self righteous, lacking meaning
Like.. Look Here... I'm happy & gay today, oh ur hungry? Cuz..I'm eating

And you should too! Oh your broke?
Your down? I get those days too
So here's a rainbows & a flying unicorn that ***** glitter when he poos

And Don't you worry my friend,
It's always darkest before ****
Everything happens for a reason,
Your grampas cancer will soon be gone

soon as he's dead, So it'll work out
By the way I used that example, cuz
My grandfather died of cancer a few years back, and I was told that it was

For a reason. But when your readin
You want honesty, poetry that's blunt
So I refuse to **** my reader, like a
Preacher, who touches a boys butts

But in a godly way of course, cuz he's a
Man of god... Are you annoyed?
Cuz that's what rainbows & butterflies sound like to a reading alter boy

Looking for solace, looking for depth
Someone who knows how inept
How lonely, this ****** phony world
That only the snakes seem to get

What they want, and flaunt,
so it can haunt them more,
But most don't get what they want cuz
theyre too busy just trying to afford

What they need, and when the Greed
Exceeds what optimism is left
All they have is knowing how sad.
Another felt, cuz relating has swept

Away the feeling, so hard to accept
When their overwhelming life crept
With emotion. Bringing the notion
He can't relate to people or connect

So both monetary & Mental pay
Starts to mount, as a debt
Shows amounts to physically mount him. Til he even feels short on breath

Starting to consider that only death
Can relieve whats received so yes
Forgive me if my writing lacks,
Calming oceans, possessing even less

Patronizing, condescension, set
On a scenic mountain top, where I
Tell u how beautiful, ur office cubical
That's suitable for monkeys is, why?

It's a lie, but ok...the sun will come our
Tomorrow like Annie would say
So when it comes Tell ur creditors who Harass you 200 times, a day

That today's a new day. And that debts
yesterdays, and should be left
In the past. Where they say, to leave
Worries, which is insulting, but yet

I AM the dark one, with poems lacking
Goldielocks featuring her poorage
Or Snow White who lives with 7 men? deflowered more than florist is

Deflowering, & who am I to question a phony psychedelic, enchanted Forrest
It's not my business who's Orifice
A draf is, usin like it's a drawer of his

Cuz dwarfism like Orphism's an art, Snow White users for organisms
No wait, that's not right. Anyway...  
Where was I? ..rightt? ***** division

So, fill up the tub with ice. Make sure
Your "patient"s subdued.. No wait
Ooops ... Guardian angels, playing harps, on a cloud feeding you grapes

As Sunshine, hits your face, with
Beautiful UV rays, but...My concern
Is how misleading, it is when reading
Cuz even a beautiful sun can burn

Telling sometimes ****** things in turn
Happen without any reason
Sometimes good people die & do You know why?cuz if not wed be heevens    

Even more so. Than we are so even
My Sad poems can bring you joy
As much as happy ones, do when a gay teen grows up, & no longer a boy

And faces the pressures of coming out, he can choose this, what is charmin' ya
Or continue to feel safer In ur fantasy
Poem of a closet ..... But Narnia

Doesn't exist. So I leave him this,
Along With the lost, emotional kids
To let em know every scar life gives
Is a trophy, earned, and the life we live

Is Not always rainbows, hugs, kiss
But that's why it's beautiful when it is
& every word stands in this
For every cut on angry teens wrist

To symbolize, he's not not alone.
Or That shes all she needs to be
And I'm sorry to the rest, but this ....
Is rainbows and butterflies to me ...

I have a Dog named Dabby Doo
She eats and drinks and poos
She loves me like no Woman do
And that is through and through

Hail the demos of runts proffers turds
from their houses of commoners and plebs
flaying their ripe dumps at Wasteminister Parliament
the oiks and oinks are full of it in endless struggles with poos
Fagins and unison ******* an giving oiks golden showers
the great unwashed carry their excrements to poetry class as floaters
to them it makes ****** sense because floaters rhymes with plonkers
who constipated on fish chips 'n vinegar are hallucination revolution
and are plopping pale faeces with red faces in left an left with runny motions and momentums