Just when things got ugly
I looked for the light
I saw you standing there
Wondered if you had something to share

Had no idea it'd be you
Everything between us grew
I was afraid to let you know
All the things I felt

How amazing this is
To finally find you
You have all I wished for
And so much more

Still my heart beats five times faster
You've taken control, I'm no longer the master
Drive me like a crazy train
Yeah I'm crazy for you

At first I was cold
Now I'm on fire
Something about you feels so right
For love we both have a crazy appetite

Finally my heart is at home
No doctor can name this syndrome

You know I feel like ****
Not complete **** just ****
I also know it's my fault
Slowing down on my meds
Not stopping
Just taking less than perscribed
I do it to stay focused
It's either Focused and depressed
Or happy and all over the place
People like me more focused
I'm less annoying
I'm more bearable
But more depressed
Luckily
Sadly
Thankfully
They can't see that part
It's this or Happy
But then I can't focus
I get bad grades
I annoy and **** people off
People don't like me
The only person who does is me
But why
Why do the drugs have to be 1 or the other
They cancel each other out
So it's focused or depressed
Or a little of both
I feel like I should be more focused during Lancers [marching band]
But then I'm more depressed
And while I feel like ****
I also feel that
I Deserve It
I am a better person while depressed
I can help those in the same situation better
I can help others more
If I'm happy
It is Not fair
I feel like a failure to those I've told about my mental health
I told them I'm depressed but then I'm not
Am I a liar?
Am I a failure?
...
Well that one's easy of course
I'm a failure either way.
When I'm happy I feel like a liar
When I'm happy I feel like a liar
When I'm happy
....
I feel like a liar
A ******* discrase
Who am I to say I have depression when I'm happy?
It's not fair
What about all those who don't feel the way I do with the same past
When They are on drugs
What if they can't get those drugs?
How's that ******* fair?
How?

I want to live
But if I live, I hurt
If I hurt do I deserve to live?
They only care for you when you say your going to **** yourself
What about if you aren't there Yet
At THAT moment
Then what are you?
Invisible....

And why are there so many of us so ******* depressed?
Just stop it please
Give me the pain of everyone and let me suffer by not killing myself
But suffering with it while alive
To eliminate everyones depression
It NEEDS TO END...
Please
Just stop

But not for me
For everyone else

When I'm happy I feel like a liar.
When I'm happy I feel like a liar.
When I'm happy I feel like a liar.
When I'm happy I feel like a liar.
When I'm happy I feel like a liar.
When I'm happy I feel like a liar.
When I'm happy I feel like a liar.
When I'm happy I feel like a liar.
Why
Why
Why
Why
Why
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
...

..


..
­
..


.
what do I do

I was 17,
and was on psychadelics for months straight
in ways it opened my mind
but I lost it in the process

you ask me who I am,
I only know
I am the person you perceive

I was 17,
perscribed depressants,
not for me
but him
he still didn't mind sharing..
for months straight

the one I loved most
and I couldn't feel it
not only it,
but everything

I was numb

I am 18,
and for months straight
I feel as though I consume more
*** in my lungs
them the polluted air

You ask me
where is my mind?
Well, I'm not sure
and I'm not sure if I want to find it

My mind has found comfort
around drugs
and I'm not sure id know who I am
without them.

and that is the sad truth.

Some new names?
Vic Tully... I just like being the Victor
Jackie Chun-Lee
Or Willie Full Nelson
Found out being an Einstein might just mean you steal credit from a wife like some Cabbage Patch Lovelaced Engine with Mephisteles fakin as a Marge.


RAFAHELLO SANRIO post transfiguration is all into petting the kitty la forniara style after many madonna obsessions

Might be more like Hugh LeoNardoh's da Veni Vici

Bounce back, going in on Sanity
Hanzi off, pinyin ate it, bopomofos
Keep Your Hamsa To Yourself
With the eyes; to seer
Gamer recognizes gamer
How 2 Score?
Dutch/indo tas=bag
Mr's noodle aint so Indo Mie
Wat is pp?
Existence gives you lemons...
Seren, the tea of calm starry skies
Sage, to offer clary tea
Humina vibechecks
No such thing as a diss track, ted
Practice makes progress,
Lesson the Learning
Super vision... more perspective
Core-act de-cyphering of "suffering"
Arch of Median Bell's Curve
Hel's Belle of Flora & Fauna
Midwinter nyt-mare dark horse
El Dorado Sendero del Cangrejo
Fuzzy logic companion anima
Just winging it; affectionately
Aves non Mari, ah!
SP Airs Rose/ SpArrows /Special ErRoRs
Naturally wild things: them beebeez
Aranha, spin, orumcheck for spiders
“axiluh” is the ancient Aztec word for “the lizard.”
zilla jira shera gojirah
Animalistically, it tracks
Making marks and beautiful impressions
Planting a Seedbead
Storyweaving directive?
New Branches of growth on the old Holle wood tree
Drawing a glow~☆
Fun gais chase lightning
Thundering mind for serenity
Cliques, thought bubbles & echolocation
Awareness, Alignment & Action
Cyclebreakers/ Conscious Cyclical Cultivation
Omnidirectional: Wound Up 4 Scrub Down
The weirding wayfinding
Sheer force of will; power
The Gift: Wrappings of Presence
Copacetic accompanyment
Finding the 'fit~
Know thyself, know thy enemy
Mount of Know thy Self-Mastery
Luch a dor / doormouse muscles / mouse
Son = er zi sun = earth
Sol-pathing, sparkily, shiny things
Sweet child of the golden sun horse
Full in-visible spectrum
The intercellular space race
Variable Universal Expansion Rate
Cosmology 4 Nube: Big Ring & Giant Story Arch
Dark Star Emergence
Matrix mothership '4ma
Ultrasonic wavecore/kincore
Every body is tiny baby men
Baby's First Betrayal
Sugar Plumb Fairy Tales
Irish cheist question
Kaikki Kysymys (time in the city)
Problem-addict to re:solution
Merdacotta
prior eye tease
The Joy Ploy
Super Finishing Move
Wholely en-Raptured
Farraday cage match
Fight? Oh, re:mediation
Unplugged but connected
Experimental Data Sets Intention
The Power (of) Play
A wise guise, eh? Yuk yuks
hai huoc humourous
Ode to the Psychopomp
Nuts roasting on a perscribed fire
The Advent of the Calendar System
After Midnight X-Mass Gonna Give it to ya
Ex Marks a Spot
Treasure Eyes Land
Silent Knight, Wholey Nyt
Myst-I-Call Magic
The Greench(akra) of Kalimakka
The Sanatan Clause
Stock? Hnng~ stuff'er!
Copy cat burglar of grand rising larsony
Haddaway to learn what is kin
Going Dutch 4 kin... who's they?
WE kami, we are, us~☆

Stank ***** III: Toot Fast, Toot Furious

WILDCARDS
Animalistic, Familiar
Her ball, cure~
Early Spring Cleaning
Deepthought