I need my rest tonight.
But my mind is wide-awake.
Emotional strife in my comfortable life,
Leave me with decisions to make.

But doubt...
Is what forces my eyes open,
And keeps me pinned against my bed.

Fear
Is what makes my fists clench.
Making me repeat what I said.

It's like torture.

A pendulum axe.
Right above my bed.
Trying get inside of my head.

Why is life so difficult?
Is this really meant to be?

*The truth is everything is really up to me.

▪In the book of the Lion,▪
¤It's raining violence.¤
○On the fickle moon,○
°Guilt echoes throughout°
♤ my sundial throat ♤
◇A crystal dawning on my shoulder,
♧ Autumn twisting in my dreams. ♧
I'm ill-spirited,

'●I'm waltzing with the pendelum of death,●'
~A noose of wisdom fractures my thoughts~
/|\Gold is splintering/|*
While death cups my cheeks

"Knowledge is frighteningly beautiful."

I beg of you,
Do not kiss
The reaper in
Disguise.
He is grim
and he is
Hungry.

●
*■□■That is why they call it the Lions den.■□■

Quod superius sicut inferius
As above so below
As within so without
On earth as it is in heaven
As the universe So the soul

All things are interconnected
The sky and the hell
The land and the sky
What is first shall be last

To accomplish the miracles of the one thing
We are the gods of the atoms that makes up ourselves
But we are also the atoms of the gods that makes up the universe
Man's spirit comes from the stars
His soul from the planets
His body from the elements
We're made of star stuff

All is mind
Everything flows out and in
The pendelum-swing manifests in everything
The measure of the swing to the right
Is the measure of the swing to the left
Everything is dual
Everything has a opposite
And opposites are identical in nature
But different in degree

Nothing rests everything moves
Everything vibrates
Every cause has it's effect
And every effect has it's cause

Infinitely,
The Cosmos

Is it so bad to want what everyone wants?
To long for something knowing you'll never have it the way you want?
(Because you did have it didn't you?)
Never enough to overcome the tremors of fright
Never enough to be Cinderella for more than a night
And is it so bad that it'll never be the way you want it to be
Is it so bad that the cause of all my ruin is me?

Is it so bad to want what everyone wants?
To long for that feeling of being longed for?
Knowing that the thought of it is terrifying
Knowing it'll always leave you crying
And is it so bad that despite the fears i'll get drawn to it
Is it so bad that i'll hang like the pendelum but never quit?

Is it so bad to want what everyone wants?
To be considered "it" for just a guy?
When you're supposed to be "chill"
When you don't "fw labels" you tell him
And is it so bad that he'll still ignite a raging fire within
Is it so bad that drowning in ***** is what keeps it burning?

Is it so bad to want what everyone wants?
To experience the unrequited love they write about?
Smiling under the sun in beach's paradise
Smiling into his sheets when he makes that sound i like
And is it so bad that i'll cry when he gets down on one knee
Is it so bad that i'll still say no when he proposes to me?

Is it so bad to want what everyone wants?
To get teased by my friends for having a boyfriend?
Going to his games and cheering him on
Going to his place when the day felt off
And is it so bad that i'll leave him stranded in the storm
Is it so bad that there will be a blank box on my baby's birth form?

Is it so bad to want what everyone wants?
To have someone to watch TV with candles around?
Giving him an attitude when he gets me fancy **** he knows i despise
Giving him my favorite look when he takes a portion of my fries
And is it so bad that our story will never be a rom-com
Is it so bad that i won't choose him when he asks me to prom?

Is it so bad to want what everyone wants?
To have his haven become my heaven?
Have all the late night conversations and cuddles
Have all the intricate moments and snuggles
And is it so bad that after the *** i'll return to my bed
Is it so bad that i'll write a poem yet still call him a good friend?