It's like right from wrong becomes irrelevant when it comes down to the person you love. You know you're not being treated how u should but you ignore it, due to pure fear of loosing them or simply not having them. I know I should be number 1 but I'm accommodating to less than that because of love? Is it love? Or is it the desire of something forbidden.
This pain is paralyzing.
I need her.  
I want her.
If I think about how her arms,
How her body completely held mine I can still feel it.
I can still smell her scent.
I cry. The exact same tears I shed as she held me.
Emotional overwhelment.
difference is, I'm actually alone.
She's not holding me anymore.
She has her own person. So she can survive without me.
I was just a distraction.
Yet she still acts and Perseus and brainwashes me as if I were superior to her number 1.
It's all so messed up, it's all so degrading, and simply wrong,
And I am choosing to ignore it.
Which is also wrong.
But how could I not talk to her? How could I cut her out when she's crawled in so deep.
I need to get her out. And keep her out.
I am not the other woman.  
I have my flaws. But my potential is not of thee to be in this position.
So I scream
"**** her I don't need her I can do this"

In hopes of one day believing it.
Maybe one day her voice won't make me melt.
Maybe one day this will all just be a memory just as every other person, who has come into my world and left with pieces leaving me with less of myself.
Maybe.

I couldn't point to the reason that you consume my thoughts when the sun goes down.

So mysterious is my desire to have your time, regardless if it's genuine return of interest or just the run around.

Your smile, that smile, precisely resembles the overwhelment of staring at waters so crystal clear the blurriest of views shutter no longer.

Your laugh, your voice, so tranquil my legs lose their brawn, my voice cowards behind my amazement & I feel my joy flourish stronger

I just thought you should know that you amaze me. That my eyes become frustratingly fatigue when I try to see the flaws you claim to have, those absent flaws no one else can see.

I just thought you should know, friend, or more. Whether we're sharing laughs or beds. Your uniqueness is eternal, your beauty goes unparalleled, and no matter what we ever are, you're surely a blessing to me.

Everyone should have a friend as prodigious as you atleast once in their lifetime, & I can see the pain you hold back from those who let you go unknowingly discharging a gift.

When ever you need a chest made pillow, a patient hand to dry tears, or just ears that don't judge and understand the language of scars; I will be ready to use the strength you give me to give your spirits a lift.