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- May 2014
prom itself is just an overglorified dance
the after party is where the real fun begins
sitting at the kitchen table of my best friend's house
sipping strawberry margaritas her mom made
then progressing to shots of tequila
and playing shots uno, steadily getting more and more dizzy
until i'm trying to twerk on a wall
and calling my friends to tell them i love them
pretending to be a koala on an armrest
updating my snapchat story so people at other gatherings can be jealous
forgetting how to pull my pants back up in the bathroom
talking to my ex boyfriend for an hour on the phone, telling him
exactly why i didn't dance with him at prom
and that i fingered myself for a boy
and i wanted to tell him and everyone, for that matter, about her
but i didn't because rejection and rumors are my worst enemies
he stays quiet and the only sound left is
my frantic whispering that i hope i stay this happy in the morning
because sober me lays in the deep end of the spectrum of sadness
Thebeau Jan 2018
I've come to terms today with the fact that the world is going to end...

All of the depression and suicidal thoughts won't mean anything soon,
All of the moments where it felt like the world was on my side will soon cease to exist,
All the hands I've held and the girls I've kissed, that won't matter,

Religion seems so conveniently placed to help ease people into the concept of death,
It seems to make us welcome it with more open arms and create a new culture out of it,
Death enters homes entitled "Holy Bible",
Death enters homes entitled "The Quaran",
Death enters lives and names itself "family",
Death enters lives and names itself "friend",

I've seen the world through rose colored glasses,
It felt fake so I took them off,
I saw the world through my own eyes,
And I wish I had never taken the glasses off,

I've imagined what it would feel like to escape my mind,
I've imagined what it would be like for people to actually care,
I've dreamt of actually being someone,  and then had the realization that I would never be,

I've detailed my notebooks with my thoughts more than I've let them escape my mouth,
I've kept to myself and hurt because of it more times than I've actually asked for help,
I've told everyone around me that I was fine, even though I clearly wasn't, too many times to count,
And even though I'm fine now, I can't speak for the future, and I can't speak for all the times I wasn't in the past,

If death is so bad then why do so many people wish that they ceased to exist?
Maybe religion has it right and death isn't overglorified,
But since I've finally got my head straight, I'm going to enjoy the time I have left until my next spell of depression comes,

It doesn't really matter what the future holds...

...because I've come to terms today with the fact that the world is going to end.

— The End —