this is an excerpt from a very long, (shudder) private poem about a dinner party with visiting friends, up from Memphis to celebrate their birthday in NYC.
Unplanned,  I gave them all gifts without hesitation from an unusual collection of mine that they were admiring.  
When questioning my unexpected generosity, by way of explanation, I jokingly said
"there is no room in my casket."

~

sweetly thanked for the unexpected gift,
the poet replies comically,
"there is no more room in his casket",
for even these, small trifles

later in the quietude of
late night contemplation,
comes a greater realization,
the truth was unseen
in his offhanded remark,
now, gives him pause and cause
to capture a greater  revelation

there is insufficient room indeed,
for accompanying the poet on his finale,
an uncharted encore voyage akin to
Tennyson's poem of
the famed voyage of Ulysses -

thoughts yet unthought,
a few thousand poems,
that time forbade completion,
all must yet reside beside and inside his soul,
timed-released escapees
from the real yet artificial limits of
physical deterioration

these,
be his boon companions in arms,
his banded-brothered company,
purposed for inspiration,
his lasting re-actualization

so plentiful, indeed,
there be no room in the casket,
for the merely beloved,
beautiful physical objets d'art,

they  too must give way
to the natural law of
"unto dust returned"
but poetry
*never dies

I won’t forget to
mention how I
hate your asymmetrical gait; it
offsets my lucent cynicism
and offers me seasoned lucidity
which I already told you I don’t want.
I’ll continue to make
my disjointed offhanded comments,
thank you,
much to the vexation
of my sharply shrinking social circles.
Advice has always been icing on
cake which I
scrape off with a knife and
use for shape-making on
the edge of my paper plate
as the other party goers
advise me not to play with my food, it’s
childish.
And rude.
And anyways, who doesn’t
like icing?

Family traditions,
memories that will never fade.
Down my face the tears  do not cascade.
On my whole heart all of this heavily weighs.
Inside of my very soul it all stays. These moments will be here with me, always.  
This is what I still crave.
The memory The memories invade
Emotions they enslave
Rant vent rave
I'm good at it I don't know how to behave
From myself me I must now save.  Stay safe
no evidence no  **** case
disgrace
what a waste
mistakes that cannot be Erased
save ******* face
spirits give chase
pass right by me like I'm running in place
free base
for the impact I brace
trying to keep up pace
bitter taste
lose the race
louder than words actions speak.  ******* spun I geek
been awake a ******* week
will I ever find what I seek
pray to God my soul to keep
one true deep
you'd fall in love and  l'd Fall the **** asleep
through me these thoughts slowly creep
vindictive streak
incomplete
cannot accept  defeat
onto Bottom rock I land rock bottom In a broken heap
when off this mortal coil I did leap price to pay way too steep
stuck on ******* repeat.
What I sow I will reap
Rotten to the core my intentions reek
I may very be a freak
into me these demons sneak  salvation beyond my ******* reach This is not something I can teach. The gifts he gave to each.
Listen to the imposters preach.
Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
I can't be anyone but me
and I have no clue who that's even supposed to be
Tomorrow holds no guarantee whatever is coming will be here eventually.
So I am ****** essentially
a **** up I am sometimes intentionally
I am traveling dimensionally
You seemed to be concerned about me genuinely
I am going to **** up continuously
This nightmare goes on and on endlessly
Like the dope in this bowl
that I now rock, I burn slow
in my dark barren soul
there's a big hole.
I keep spiraling, spinning right of control.
Impossible to console,
colder and much more corrupt the older that I grow
These blessings he did bestow
What comes next I just don't know into the nefarious darkness I blindly stroll
I guess I like it better like this
Ignorance is bliss
Offhanded remarks I'm quick to dismiss
I still taste fates lingering kiss
Life's a ***** then you die
So ******* what I get high
No need for an iron clad alibi
Tragedy streaks my dark sky
Chasing smoke clouds and spirits though I don't know why
With society's rules I don't comply
An answer to your question I will not dignify
Memories from my past my brain does Preoccupy
With as Queen misfit I Identify
From here on out I transmogrify
Soon I hope to disappear in the sweet by and by
Into the stratosphere i fly
I guess this is where I say good bye
Unconscious sigh
Modify
Problem I
Turn a blind eye
Rock a bye
Direction I
Drop supplies
Rocks lie
Detoxify
solemn high
Remarks apply
Horrorify
Pardon my
Watchful eye
When Dolphins cry
Today I die