I have been trying
on my own
for far too long.

I try to seek help
but wind up as the ocean.
No matter how many times I try to open up,
my waves will never touch the grassy dunes.

But then again,
those dunes are stuck in their ways
never trying for one moment to let
one
little
drop of my wave
touch them.

So I will remain my own ocean
looking on those dunes
finding nothing but
flimsy grasses
and sandy mountains.

I lift myself up,
pointed on toes
tipping at the edge.
A wind molds to my face.
I'm held there by grace,
as my mind begins to dredge
         Up memories
         of you and me
         seventeen
         blessed with resilience
         none are faded by time
         in feeling
         if not in sight
        some are good
        some are bad
        all are mine



I take a breath
inhale this wind
bowing me back from this cliff.
But I hear waves below.
It's a siren's song so
strong to my ears
as I sniff back tears
          from memories
          sent by this breeze
          so old to me
          of when you would tease
          so I'd unfreeze.
         The only other thing
         that could put me at ease
         is the violent sea
         I stand above now so desperately



And I'm tipping
                tipping
         at the edge
      of my sanity.
  Oh, I'm tipping
                tipping
     on this ledge,
questioning your humanity,
                          as I tip above
                            the oceanity
                    of what could be
                         in front of me.
                     And I'm tipping
                                    tipping
                             at the edge



I take a step back,
release my breath,
settle my heels
into this earth.
Let the wind roll my tears
back towards my ears,
the sound so much quieter than
          these memories
          I hid from me
          to let myself
          relearn how to breathe.
          They swell up again,
          just as wind dies down.
          I grit my teeth,
          say an amen,
          and prepare to drown.



And I'm tipping
                tipping
         at the edge
     of my sanity.
Oh, I'm tipping
               tipping
    on this ledge,
questioning your humanity,
                          as I tip above
                            the oceanity
                    of what could be
                         in front of me.
                     And I'm tipping
                                    tipping
                              at the edge  



                           Air at my face
                       Earth at my feet
                      Seas in my heart
         to drown you out of me
Then I cry oceans away
   with the saltiest tears
  I can taste all my pain
   And my leaving fears
                    Cause you left me
                           and I can't see
                     this edge you left
                           in front of me,



         And you left me tipping
                                       tipping
                          tipping

                                                                  tipped