In sunshine or in shadow how rich the loamy soil
light of earth, dream of rebirth greening
lilac buds and bluebells ring
magenta hills, aubretia spring
of burning fire
A mossy path of violets, soft my feet to wander
muscari blue the garden dew
birds to drink of leafy puddles
bluest skies go grey, drifts so swift a rain cloud by
to water quick the daffodil, silk umbrellas yellow
and comes alas the greening grass
robins hopping, weaving
Spring unfurls in flowery births
tiny violets upon the earth

a wise young man once shared with me a proverb
“a fox which chases two rabbits will catch neither.”
I’ve been calling you a fox ever since
the weather got too cold for baby blue forget-me-nots
nothing good ever happened in a month like May
but you were my rusty fox
I couldn’t catch you that rainy day
or that frosty night, my love
for fear of crushing inadvertently
an annual bloom.

perhaps you were doomed to be perennial
but you followed me into libraries
and around street corners
I followed you down the alleyways of our city
and through doors;
that only ever led to too little, too late
for which I am truly sorry.

just, please. this time
believe me when I say
I gave everything to you I could
I crossed so many lines too many
but here I stood
silently shouting at you
to love me,
to need me,
to adore me again -
shortly before the weight of the futility
of so much past came to light.

you are the poetry in my poems
you brought the fire, and I brought the fuel
we were almost an experimental pair  -
but you were the wind
and I was driftwood
splinters of me scattered all across the bay
and when you turned,
you forgot how to whistle
the tune we always had.
and I lost sight of you
when the waters stilled too much
for me to be able to feel you there
and be carried along with you.

it is said that
“a fox which chases two rabbits will catch neither.”
but I am done with chasing rabbits
and watering tulip and muscari bulbs in the October springtime
I am willing to put the image of my sun-kissed fox
behind me.

I want September sunshine
I need red sunset
I’ll pursue a crashing wave
and fly into the face of a glowing inferno
because
I want you
I need you
I will let you love me
I will let you love me

and
as I rip and tear these lifelines to shreds
as I dissect my heart in an attempt
to figure out where it all went wrong
I’ll keep looking for you
between paving stones
I’ll keep searching for you
inside cracks in brick walls
I’ll keep seeking you
in whatever way I know how

praying
that since something so remarkable
does not allow itself to be forgotten
it also does not allow itself
to become part of the past.

if love were fire
it lives in the forget-me-not heart
skipping across they keyboard, masked as rhetoric
burning through your cheeks on cold days
and at night
it dances on the tip of your tongue
and heats the arms (but not the hands) with which you hold me tight.

but if love were fire
it lives in the muscari-blossom mind.
your cast-iron heart, burning hot to the touch
your words, gently warmed
your eyes, brightly lit
your fire is contagious, it rips through me
never quite burning me out.

if love were fire
it think it lives in my snapdragon heart
it tries to to work its way out of me through my actions
to express itself in my words
constantly present but never sufficient
always prevailing but never saving
perhaps reflected, in the shape of a candle flame
in my flattered eyes.