"muc" poems
It was the mouths fault
smacking together, flicking sticky
reality onto her collarbone.
Squishing perfectly whole beginnings into soggy afterthoughts
It could have left them alone, yet
silence is failure, and success was all it could talk about
Never reach for a door closing if you
can't handle the pain.
Pinched knuckles inflamed with blame,
stiffly folding in quiet fury
Nails are diva's
rallying strikes when ignored, scratching at patience
always needing attention
All active in the community: grabbing and giving, holding and pushing,
killing and mending, building and breaking.
Thing is, fingerprints only matter in crimes
It's losing pressure. Deflating, collapsing.
Rubbing is hopeless, exams are lazy, blinking is irritating. No focus
Look at her-
Can't.
Look her in the eyes-
Won't
No focus, no focus, ......no .....fo....
*{bare shoulders
fingers intertwined
soft...lips..
broken skateboards
midnight bench talk
sun burns
you're it
you're it
you're}*
Not.
Reading makes it worse, table charts said it would continue deteriorating. Always blurred, always squinting.
So much depending, so much waiting. so much, so much, ......so....muc
*{desire
promises
hope
backseat lounging
hours of music
October coffee
I'm ready
I'm ready
I'm}*
Not.
Never. Stop.
Don't quit, don't go easy.
Committed- following through, following these vines. These promises
Don't underestimate- prove it.
Every day, every day, every.single.day.
*but.
please.
I am,
hurting
I trust
and
I'm failed
I won't let you down
but.
Don't take me for granted
I am strong, I am strong, I am strong
but.
I have moments*
Mouth's lie, hand's reach, eye's fade, heart's ache.
Be more than the weakness
I am only human
but.
I want more
Jun 20, 2012
Jun 20, 2012 at 11:52 PM UTC
if I could never wake up again, I'd pay a million dollars.
Instead of being in pergatory where the sun shines, and the sky's blue
where people laugh, and smile and yet
for me all I see is the gray against the gray that is my life
the sadness that fills from an everlasting well
to which others quench their fill of their grief or sorrow
only to leave me alone once again.
there is no rock bottom
no ending to the hole that I am falling through
As I fall I see good things, and when I was young
I believed that they meant I was going up
only I realized these were the good things that people left behind
as I descend into nothingness
If I could **** myself I would
Death does not scare me
I see it as a end
an escape
a finale
the last movement. But
that's out of the question.
because there is one thing left to do.
To love someone and be loved with all my heart and soul.
However, that too is out of the question
For who would fall in love with me?
The friends that I cherish I cannot leave because I care about them too muc
The music that I love I care about too much
But the pain and suffering that is acquainted with it
is too much for me to bear.
I imagine the sound of a thousand screeching nails against a chalkboard
or a hundred wailing babies
All I hear is the screaming in my end to quit and give up on this life.
Minute by Minute
Second by second.
All people want in this life is to be understood.
An impossible task for someone like me
For who can understand me?
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 7:15 PM UTC
Have you ever laid on your floor at night and just cried?
Cried because youre ugly.
Because youre not good enough.
You counted all your flaws from head to toe to punish yourself.
Cried because the comments people blurt out actually hurt.
Cried because your family is dysfunctional, but youre just a kid who cant do **** about it.
They telk you to stop complaining,
That you have it muc better than some kids.
You dont want to be a burden so you just bottle it all up.
Around people youre the happiest ray of sunshine.
But nobody knows,
That at night,
When youre alone,
You break down and
Just cry
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:59 PM UTC