Giving thanks
Was the common practice
This time of year
But all she felt was the coming of tears
It's only been a couple Of years
But it's felt much longer.

Every second seems like a century without you..
And these colorful walls seems like a perfect cage for my daydreams.. There you are setting us the Christmas tree..

Her distraught fears has left me more hollow than ghostly possible
Do Spirits ever get this low?
I just want her to know
That i'm still here, living breathing
But i can never say a word
Or else the rest of the Ghosts would take me away.. To a far distant place.
Most people are with their families and i'm with the dead
Just try to get that inside your head
Heart heavy with love but seeping with dread
I just wished we were able to be wed
Before i took my last breath Of human air.
I know how much you deeply care, But this life wasn't meant to be lukewarm or fair..
It was meant to test my strengths And watch me fall apart because i care
Or maybe it's something else..
I just wish i was there for you During the jolly times
Every tear you cry
I cry.

Cry..
Only silent cries are left.
You are not here next to me..
It's killing me..
I'm dead.
So I decided to leave this cage..
And like all those time before I decided to take a Walk on the pavements,
It's raining and I'm heading toward the storm.
purposely, I have left my umbrella at your place.
Because someone told me it's easy to hide those tears in rain.
So won't you hold me now, Like all those time before?
Who do you think you are leaving all those scars on my soul?
Won't you even see me, won't you even call my name?
Stop playing all the crazy games.
Leaving myself at your stone I always wish I could lay deep in there with you in that wooden box.

When will it be? The day that I would stop breathing, my skin would pale. When would it be? Is it tomorrow? Maybe now while I'm typing this letter. I can't answer it time will always tell when would that be. It can be either death will let you know that you're on a death bed, or you're just gonna end up dead, clueless. While having this kind of thought, probably someone in this world only got a second to live. And here I am wondering, when would time be? It's funny because for the past few days. Five days to exact, I had a good life. I've lived a life where I make jokes to my grandma, still lazy, but ain't depressed. And now I just saw a post that Helen Mccrory died, cancer it is. The killing machine of this world. A night like this makes me want to live. That's why I can't sleep because I'm afraid that I won't be going to wake in the morning. Probably because I always wake up in the afternoon. It is a joke. Please laugh. But seriously, death is inevitable. It is the same fate that everyone shares. Even Klaus Mikaelson can relate. There's this line of Klaus that pops in my head "What if there's nothing after this, no peace, just darkness?" What if that's how it ends? That'll be, I don't know. I don't know. I guess we are all victims of this life that they gave us. So let's live life while we can embrace the pain, enjoy the moment because death is certain, and after it is not.
But always remember that let time tells when would that be. So don't **** yourself. We are perfectly made into this Imperfect world to live an imperfect life. So be it. Don't waste it for just another lonely night.