Feel empty in your post apocalyptic City of Angels,
Where not even your pets are real!
An electric android, a sheep or a frog,
The whir-flutter of micro-electrical wings of a butterfly.

Good, and so you ought.

Now grab the handles of your empathy box,
And in a shared virtual hallucination –
Feel: empathy, depression, pain, delusion and despair,
The outré myriad gifts of consciousness.

Billions of discombobulated and disconnected wrecks:
Adam's sons; Eve's daughters,
And among them simulations too,
Fakes! androids!
A phony circuit of implanted semi-conscious memories,
A hive of neural malaise!
Welcome to our world;
know how dead inside I am.

You, yes, you:

Need a pet to make you more complete?
Maybe you can afford
A Fake Fakir Flake like me who looks like Jude Law,
Sounds like Richard Burton,
And silently romances you like Rudolph Valentino.
Come and stick what’s left of your mind,
In here,
In hair,
Hear her:
har, har, har…

A box of lies...

A voice, Mercer's,
With texture from an age you neither lived in nor dared in:
Al Jerry's, a TV actor,
Droning on in pre-selected tones.

The real thing, the men, the women, the children - their animals -
Made in the wild, wild desert,
In the green pulsing savannah,
On the open crusted sea;
Now too, washed, choked, and drained,
Too many spliced and diced mutations,
Iterating your image:
The thing that was my heart,
My Child, now its imitation.

The gays in Hackensack
Have their own club
It's called the gay pill traders club
off main
on mercer
just south of the tracks

above the check cashing place on main
Where the drunks go
to cash their welfare checks

People there trade and sell
all kinds of drugs
upstairs
and on the tracks

There's a fat cop
who pops in from time to time
looking for drugs

Always with a *** of cash
Been coming there for years
Never can find any drugs

It's dangerous
Being on your own

My fair Guinevere
The very name Guinevere sends me through time and space to another world with a thrill in my heart


Like no other well there was a time when I was six I think I will stop by there on my way back to reality
Back then a coloring book and eight crayons could fix big hurts like the time my uncle slammed the car

Door on my fingers as we started into a tavern I guess at first it was unbelief although a six year old has
A great imagination but seeing the door completely closed and my fingers in there something really

Wild and then the crushing excrutating pain my uncle whirled around and saw what happened now
I wasn’t being mercenary well first I didn’t know what that word meant must have something to do with

Machinery but I did know I was going to gain because my uncle was a crane operator I did know he
Didn’t operate on cranes like the one the Cranes potato chip bag but here goes larceny I think that’s

Like black licorice it gets all over kids faces in adults it just gets all over them it depends on how much
You pay they say crime doesn’t pay well larceny does but after you do it you have to run real fast or

Something well back at the car outwardly it was all I could do to hold on sloopy but inside don’t judge
Me but I was singing a ditty it went like this my uncle has got money and he feels almost as bad as I

Do look out world I see a coloring book a coming that was just an aside to make a point about hurts
I was about to run head on into one you ever had a hurt to last over forty plus year’s bee stings wont

Do it scraped knees heal but lose your heart at six and you’re a goner what did Rick say in Casablanca
Of all the juke joints in the world why did she have to come in this one why was she born one street over

When I was six and she was eighteen black hair the whitest skin Oh god you must got distracted you just
Kept adding more pretty did you know pretty can hurt I think most can I know Geri does she suffered

Through a beautiful summer she says the three of us didn’t even know her at the pool more important
My best friend Jerry that she had a crush on didn’t know her either I know her now and we are deeply

Connected by that summer and her heart of pain she knows what I Speak of when I make mention of
My fair Guinevere is she a legend in the court of King Arthur if you could see in my heart I wrote a piece

About music it says the Wolfman’s got your ears Johnny Mercer brings tears all through the years
Touché my knight angel that’s what I call her I will tell you why in minute did she make the flowers

Grow no but when she walked that’s where she walked in my heart paths lined with gardenias over
Head was my beloved Magnolia she wore garland to me it said I love you this was the lie I told

Because I knew it could never be and then in my world fate stepped in with a pain that made fingers
In a car door feel no more than a love tap I guess it was puppy love maybe so but I know I was one

Love sick hound I wiped a single tear from my face with the finger I type with so just one more is added
To the endless stream that started when through her bedroom talking to her friends I heard her say

She was getting married can a six year old love, kneel over me as she did my crying brought her outside
To my side this time her voice of cooing wouldn’t send me home to dream beautiful dreams of her

I wish dad was drunk maybe hell razing would have disturbed the pain somewhat yes I got up from
The tear stained spot at that instant it became sacred and for ever more she became truly my fair

Guinevere as with sir Lancelot the triangle of love was created that knight but the fallen wasn’t a knight
Who fell among thorny roses of romantic pain no just a child that rode a romantic stallion before

He should have I guess I’m still on his back we ride many a night I call to her through the dark
But only one visit could my night angel give I will ride on God promises love beyond and no one will

Have a heart of deadest stone window window my fleshly heart you destroyed so on my way home
Through the darkness in her yard I picked up this stone it works fine it is her memorial it is always with
Me if you want to know her name it s in the song Abilene

Why I wrote this as I said in the other piece Keats said beauty never fades into nothingness and he said
It has quality and even curative powers to lessen pain for others she is in pain with life changes this
Was written to relieve her of her burden and pay on the debt I owe her when she left the laughter of
Friends And knelt by a love sick child thats all I can do and I do it often maybe through this we can return
Just briefly to our sweet summer time of long ago

My art
is the way
I re-establish
the bonds that unite me
to the universe. -A.M.

Before she fell
They were
Hated
She, for her sudden rise
And he
in turn
for his shaggy, loping omnipotence
The sure-footed authority
marked by silver squares heading nowhere.

She was the little Visionary
and he, the Blue Chip
So very messy
The Tall and The Small

If you were sitting at the bar
Somewhere around Mercer Street
And those two came in
“Ugh”
Went off inside all the heads
in their line of sight
A palpable mental groan
As they hung up their coats
And waved at various tables
Making their way like penguins through
recalcitrant faces
eyes focused on a glass of beer.

Again, it will all end badly, we thought
Nursing our drinks.
Tonight

Piling out of the last bar
brawling on slick cobblestones
under the yellowish streetlights
of Prince or West Broadway
Arguing about nothing and everything
“I will out run you Old Man!”
You could hear it bouncing off the sidewalk like reverb
Whispering around corners
“You will be surpassed!”

Birdgirl, I too look to eternity,
he states full of drink and exasperation.
I step and step again. I am walking there.
I am not a bird and you will see that I need no wings.

“You will be surpassed!”

Blood and more blood
A face planted with busted lips
Flattened
Your body crushed into the earth
Over and over
Having fallen
Waiting for burial, entombed in flora
Welcomed
Reclaimed
To be disappeared
But not just yet.

What had you unleashed Mija?
What did you already know?

I’ve got a devil inside of me! SHE GOT LOVE!
I’ve got a devil inside of me! SHE GOT LOVE!

In editorial spreads
we saw flared American jeans in Rome
You said that they understood you there
And in Cuba too
We understood you very well right here,
you know.
It’s not so hard.

The doorman said he heard someone cry out
And then a soft thud a moment later
From the deli’s rooftop next door
Crusted guano
Broken, forlorn and misguided leaves
Cigarette stubs with pinkish ends
A stray tabloid cover page and that
peppery NYC grit in your eye and nose and under your fingernails all reclaim you to a concrete womb
Welcome back!

“ICARUS DOWN” read The Post

How easily we lost our envy
after those 34 floors
Earthbound
Strait shot

It was all foretold in the telling
Now folded into a history of sorts
That of an earthy primordial Fertility cut short by a ruddy man
rather than a thousand  compulsive chalklines drawn around a singular and knowing corpse
There are ramifications for deals
made in feathers, b lood
puddles and mudlood
A recipe for the
reunion of force fields
Folding you back within its arms
Where you belong
What an excellent day for an exorcism.

I’ve got a devil inside of me! SHE GOT LOVE!

4/13/2017

spring sprung like a coil
forcing itself, tugging on the city's dress
and the flowers, rabid

the mixed old cement steps
of the apartment building where i sit
tinny song in the air saying

oh, i'm just a kid
oh, i'm no longer a kid
dead on arrival, letting myself go

the city's mine now
well, at least any point below 4th street
and city hall

i am no longer suffering
i am simply waiting
the argument could be made:

what's the
difference?
that, i don't know.

Cary Grant did not shift the gruesome, pink-titted Rosalind Russell beyond the confines of their rotting-black-corpse mausoleum tussle Beyond their putrefying-cadaver Brentwood mausoleum tussle, gay
Cary Grant didn't twist the loathsome, big teats of Bertrand Russell beyond the strength of his turning-black-corpse mausoleum muscle Zombies have no rights under Western canon to complain & sue as resurrection-man-will crushes not what pale phagocytes & pus'll do
on the homestead & farmstead, in our Everglades or Sanford's zoo,
the Great Salt Lake's Saltair Resort & upon Earth's level ocean blue
& underwater in homosexual union whereat 3 is company & so is 2 whilst the eye on the prize is paederastic marriage set in queer view
of climbing the *** north of *** Buttville, wafting up through a flue
to know well Germanic lust as the queer-bait love Mahatmaji knew mixed with pathogenic dreck & dross that makes India a toxic stew especially for Sikh Indians who can't afford more than 1 rental shoe which makes bowling tricky for men of size 19 on the bowlin' crew
while big ***** in ****** are a menace when their numbers are few Bleached women in spandex are more stubborn than mules on coke plodding down the Grand Canyon without the guiding **** & poke from Walt Disney's gas furnace man behind Flora Call's final choke
in death-rattlin' denunciation of a black & gray cartoon frog's croak
in death-rattling exclamation of a black to gray cartoon frog's croak
as 1 death-rattling exclamation of a ball-&-stick-figured toad croak
to Lucy Mercer's admission of how a Russian poisoned F.D.R. joke

It wasn’t chance or accident that Walt found you it was destiny his genius needed a perfect
Form of expression and you were the one that met and exceeded all the requirements your
Favorite song to sing as a child was the hit Jonny Mercer song accentuate the positive little did
You know that you would not only sing it but be asked to live it and you did this as a true marvel
With grace and charm you said the Mickey Mouse club was a slightly better version that what
America really was then you went on to say that America even is gone forever but in the
Encroaching darkness you carried the fragile lamp of purity and modesty it was the harking
Back to innocence so precious and held in such reverence the rock songs were about young
Love holding hands in the silver moonlight carried along on a river of dreams infatuation it
Showed in that special time of being a teenager not a child but not an adult it was the ultimate
Carefree high that didn’t mean you were ****** you were just grooving hot rods and babes
That Knocked your socks off you wondered around in a stupor all you could think was how
Could anyone be so fabulous maybe they made those clothes out of magic cloth and thread
Sweaters white blouses poodle skirts or not bobby socks and black patent leather shoes sock
Hops Friday afternoon in this reality freedom was the it word fast cars girls were cool may I say
Winsome and not be booed all you wanted was to be with them get to know them they were
Exciting they were worthwhile and they sent you tripping cherry cokes was the drink no one
Ever made a fool out of themselves that came natural when you would stick your foot in your
Mouth trying to be cool and that even played out in a sweet way no one looked better than
When they flubbed it trying to impress someone you did get favorable points back then and
Annette ruled as a queen in many minds and even today she’s gone but her light continues to
Shine down through the years it is carried in the most beautiful laughter and character started
On Disney’s lot but wowed far beyond after the mouse ears were laid down it came with a rush
On California beaches youth was right where it needed to be in the forefront because it only
Last For a seemingly brief summer and though it floats back in time again you’re only on that
Beam of Light and fully on and with it for magical moments we close our eyes in quiet respect
For a time and a special one who was and is unforgettable

Do you remember the apple cider?
Your house was always cold, every-
thing was always apples. I never
did get the matching triforce tattoo
with you and that is okay because I
don't like tattoos anyway. You didn't
ruin the Legend of Zelda for me, I
just said that. Remember to drink water.
Remember that everyone you ever meet
is responsible for their own feelings and
their own problems. Remember that lots
of things provide temporary fixes but
never solace.  

How about those frogs? Never a silent moment
until I yelled out your window and you lamented
over the amphibious life you stole with the lawn
mower. (I noted that I had caught frogs at my
grandfather's funeral).

Here's to your earliest memory. Standing in a hamper looking out
the window until your mom picked you up. Was there a bucket
involved? Here's to your scars, your split finger, right next to your pinky the red
on your cheeks, the rough texture of your triceps. That other chris in
kindergarten, Mercer? Did he steal your first love? Haven't smelled
your stomach for a year but I am pretty sure it still smells like
leather. Your hair, soft in the middle, rough around the edges.

Will I ever have enough documentation?

You taught me that tap water doesn't **** and that
all you have to do to make anything perfect is add
an egg or two.

Deep breath
Deep breath
Deep breath
Deep breath
Deep Breath

Hello, and welcome, to Critical Role
With the nerdiest voice actors in tow
Is everyone ready? Let's start the show
Sit back and watch as the rush takes it's toll

It's the nerdy show Matthew Mercer leads
With the best voice actors in tow it seems
At different tables but not different teams
Sit back and watch as the dark dice do deeds

“That next January, she will be considered cured! These are words we never expected to hear, especially since her first oncologist told her she had little chance of surviving...”
“In 2001 my wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Because of poor health, I had only been able to work occasionally and we were very low on financial funds. Also we did not have insurance. We tried to get assistance, but were turned down everywhere we went.
We got a recommendation from an employee at a clinic to try the department of children and family services, adult division, for our state. But again the door was closed on us.
At this point, things got so bad we had to do our grocery shopping at a railroad salvage store. My greatest fear was that after my wife finished her chemo and radiation the medicines she would need would not be anything we could afford. Someone told me about alternative medicine and that it is used around the world, but that most doctors frown on this practice.
We started researching the internet for anything that would help and be something we could afford. When my wife was diagnosed with cancer, the doctor used a CA125 blood test. The doctor told us that a count under 35 is acceptable.
My wife's count was “365” confirming the cancer.
My wife has NOT has not had ANY form of medication for her cancer! The “ONLY” thing she is using is Apricot Seeds or Kernels.
Her last CA125 test was taken 9 days ago and her count was at “10”, well below the established number of 35. No one can tell us that the Apricot Seeds are not doing even more then we had hoped for on her.
Last doctor's visit, the doctor told my wife that if she had made it past the first 2 years without problems, she was now in a group that has less than a 10% chance of reoccurrence and that next January, she will be considered cured!
These are words we never expected to hear, especially since her first oncologist told her she had little chance of surviving.”
Dorothy & Robert Halun
Lakeland, FL




WEB: "My doctor said if I did not have the scars on my body they could never prove that I had Cancer. It's all because I took Raw Apricot Kernels..."
I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2001. The first oncologist told me the tumor was too large to operate and that he must shrink the tumor through chemo prior to surgery.
He said that if I would have come to him a couple of years earlier that it would be an automatic death sentence, however, he had this new protocol - Stem Cell Therapy - which could save my live at a cost of about $100,000 more than what my insurance would pay...I got a second opinion.
My 2nd oncologist, after pondering the proposed surgery for the weekend said that even though the tumor was large, he thought he could do the surgery prior to starting chemo. I started researching my options.
After surgery, I REFUSED CHEMOTHERAPY AND RADIATION. My doctor said I would die if I did not at least to Chemo. I told him "My life, my decision...if I am wrong in a year, I will listen to you then".
When my one year CA125 test was taken, I was a perfect 10. My doctor said if I did not have the scars on my body they could never prove that I had Cancer. It's all because I took Raw Apricot Kernels (6 per day). I am now cancer free for 5 years and counting.
Babette Garfield, Age 57
Las Vegas, NV



“I learned about Amygdalin (B17) and started taking it right away and all of my symptoms began to regress...”
“I have been dealing with Indolent Lymphoma since 1996. I knew I was pretty much on my own with this. About 5 years ago, I learned about Amygdalin (B17) and started taking it right away and all of my symptoms began to regress.
If I am stupid and eat sugar or stuff I shouldn't, I begin to get my symptoms back, but as soon as I tighten up my diet, they go away. I have a lot of energy now and I am starting a new business and I am 61. I used to be exhausted but no more.
I am very grateful for Amygdalin (B17) and the Apricot Seeds.”
Nancy Pratt, Age 61
Montclair, VA


“GET PEOPLE TO TRY THIS - it works…”
Here is my testimonial.
Let me begin by saying I am not affiliated in any way with this product I am suggesting you try. I have bought it & used it myself on several (really severe) sun spots/skin lesions with total & successful removal with consistent use. I thought for sure I would have to go to a surgeon, but bought this cream instead. The first one I removed was on my leg, I had watched it getting bigger for a couple of years. It was pretty deep, too. It was a bit uncomfortable at first after I applied the cream but then it began to work.
I next removed one on my left shoulder that had become quite large as well. I then used it on one near my left temple. It was one of those big brown lesions you see on old people. It took a bit longer. It had to be gently peeled off a couple of times, but then one day, the last layer came right off. I also got rid of 2 smaller ones on my face & a really bad one on my right ear.
You have to be consistent. Apply it ONLY to the spot a couple of times a day in the beginning. The area will get a bit red, sometimes it gets itchy, but that means it is working. Eventually you will be able to cut it back to once a day. Every couple days put a dab of antibacterial cream on it. After about a week or so, you should be able to gently start peeling off a little bit at a time and then when the final layer comes off it will be just healthy skin underneath.
- Nanci


“She has been CANCER FREE for 6 years…
“6 years ago we noticed that our 100lb Golden Retriever, Cassie, had a tumor on her back paw. The vet suggested that we have them remove the tumor and have it analyzed. Thus, St Pat's day 2000 Cassie had the operation. All went well. When we got the results back, they said it was a mast cell tumor type 2. They recommended chemotherapy. Knowing that God made provision for Noah and the animals, we prayed and felt that the Lord was directing us in a different way.
First, we checked the dog food we were giving her. We found that Sci Diet had carcinogens in it. We studied and switched to Innova, a natural dog food. We also recently had heard from the Christian Brothers about raw apricot seeds and their properties that would help the body fight cancer.

We also started giving Cassie Barley Green, a powdered barley leaf that would help make her body alkaline. Cancer can not exist in an alkaline environment. Twice a day we would give Cassie her seeds etc. Her paw healed nicely and the vet was pleasantly surprised. Then, as each year Cassie would go for her spring check up the vet would say how lucky we were. We would usually agree we are blessed.
Cassie had one other small tumor removed from her back about 2 years ago. It was not cancerous. She has been CANCER FREE for 6 years. As you can tell from her picture, she has gotten the raccoon look around her eyes as she has aged. Yet, she still likes to play.
We give credit for her long healthy life from Jesus directing all of our steps-in changes in food, supplements, exercise and B17. Thank you for making your products available.”
Karen Olsen
Elmhurst, IL





“This is when I prayed and asked God to show me another way because I knew the chemo was so painful...
“Hi, my name is Tina Brock and my mother Fanida Caudelle (Faye) has battled cancer for a long time. Twelve years ago she had breast cancer. In 2004 she was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She took chemo and the cancer stayed away for a year. It came back in her spleen, abdomen, and pelvic areas. This is when I prayed and asked God to show me another way because I knew the chemo was so painful. I began researching and found B-17. Thank God! I ordered her a bottle and she took it while taking the chemo and we were all impressed with how well her blood counts were each time. She is still using B-17 today and February 14, 2006 my mom turned 74 years old. I would like to thank you for making B-17 available.”
Fanida Caudelle, Age 74
Nicholson, Georgia





“Before taking the apricot seeds, I could feel a couple of small lumps in my *******. Within a couple of months the lumps were all gone and have not returned…
“I have been using Apricot Seeds for a little more than 2 years and believe they have made a big difference in my health. Before taking the apricot seeds, I could feel a couple of small lumps in my *******. Within a couple of months the lumps were all gone and have not returned.
I continue to take the apricot seeds every day and believe they along with whole grains, fruits, vegetables, avoiding red meat and seafood without fins and scales, and eating as organically as possible is responsible for the change in my body.
Edgar Casey had a vision of what he believed were almonds and that they prevented cancer. I believe Casey actually saw apricot seeds and mistook them for almonds because they look similar.”
Carol Loguisto
Nassau, New York




“I tell everyone that I talk to about the natural cure for cancer, which is Apricot seeds, just another gift of God...
“In 2004 I went to my Dr. and had skin cancer removed from my face and back. The cancer on my face was determined to be basil cell but the one on my back came out to be melonomia. Since that time they have returned and the Dr. wanted to do more removal but I decided to try natural remedies.
In September of 2005 I found information about Apricot seeds and Vitamin B17. I started eating the seed and taking Vitamin B17. The cancer on my face was red and sore but today the redness is gone and also the soreness.
The most remarkable part is the melonomia on my back is getting smaller. Once I decided to use Apricot seeds and Vitamin B17, I also started reading my Bible more and using the Bible versed that were given me. My health has improved and my worries about cancer were given to God.
I tell everyone that I talk to about the natural cure for cancer, which is Apricot seeds, just another gift of God.”
Fred Davidson, Age 62
Independence, MO


“The Doctor could only scratch his head and wonder. I have also used it on a dog who had miraculous results…
“I have used the seeds as a preventive for a few years and never have had any side affects. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with colon cancer the size of a grapefruit. A few months and less than $500 dollars worth of seeds and pills and it was reduced to a small mass the size of a grape.
The Doctor could only scratch his head and wonder. I have also used it on a dog who had miraculous results. Read the book "World Without Cancer" so you don't have to watch your loved ones die in vain.”
Steve Strasburg
Arkport, NY
“I believe that the B-17 blocked the spread of the cancer, and saved her life…
“My sister had been diagnosed with Thyroid cancer last year. I immediately started her on 500 mg of B-17 twice a day. She had her thyroid removed, as it was aggressive, and fast moving. The Endocrinologist were amazed that that there was NO spreading to the neighboring lymphatic system as is usually the case.
I believe that the B-17 blocked the spread of the cancer, and saved her life.”
Patrick Harris-Worthington
Minneapolis, MN





“The doctors don't understand how this could happened and finally we told them in March, 2006 that I had taken B-17…”
“In 2004 I contracted liver cancer. My doctor said chemo was the next step in my progressing liver cancer. I had been taking all the right healthy vitamins and eating right and now "cancer". When we were told there were NO guarantees that the chemo would work, my wife and I decided to try the B-17!
It was scary because we were not sure of how much to take on a daily basis but started with 100mg 2xday. We worked up to 500mg 2xday for about 5 months and then down to 100mg 2xday at present. I did take zinc and B-12 for 2 weeks before starting the B-17.
The cancer mass went from a 8cm to 6cm in less than a yr. It did not spread and it had shrunk. The drs. don't understand how this could happened and finally we told them in March, 2006 that I had taken B-17. My blood tests came back "normal" last month and all the friends and family are amazed and we are happy.
PS...the dr. called and gave us a phone # of a girl who was suffering as I was and could we call her and tell her what we did? My doctor said chemo was the next step in my progressing liver cancer. So, we did and she is now starting her regiment...”
Dennis Montgomery
Arcadia, CA

“I finally talked him into B17. He did however try it and was doing much better then with the chemo…”
“I lost my husband 10 months ago to cancer. He chose to take the doctors advice and have chemotherapy and radiation for his cancer which started in his colon and ******. Needless to say after 2 and 1/2 years of treatment he lost his fight with cancer.
When he died it was in his liver, lungs and stomach. It was too late when I finally talked him into B17. He did however try it and was doing much better then with the chemo. Although he lost his fight his cancer was just too far advanced to stop or prolong his life.
I have been on B17 since his death and will continue to stay on it for the rest of my life. I am doing it to prevent cancer because my father also died with colon cancer and it has been known to travel in families. I am cancer free and hope to remain that way that is why I choose to take B17.
I am 49 years old and I tell everyone that will listen that the chemotherapy and radiation killed my husband, not the cancer. It was his life and I had to respect his decision to... “
Gloria Snow-Lambert
Mercer, PA


"I was diagnosed with breast cancer a year and a half ago. I went through some Chemo and Radiation treatments...
I was diagnosed with breast cancer a year and a half ago. I went through some Chemo and Radiation treatments. I began researching cancer and alternative treatments and found a website on apricot seeds and B17.
I remember hearing about this being a possible cure for cancer many years ago, but had not heard any studies since then. I thank the Lord that I found this site. I have been taking the apricot seeds ever since I found out about them.
I started taking tamoxifen about a year ago and recently stopped due to the toxic effects it has on the body. I continue to take the apricot seeds and so far all is well.
I tell everyone I come in contact with who has had or has cancer about them. Thank you, thank you for making them available to purchase and at reasonable prices! I will be taking them for the rest of my life.
Carol Richards
Pittsburgh, PA

Mandy Mercer-Neder, friend, daughter of composer Johnny Mercer for whom he wrote the hit “ "Mandy Is Two”  in 1941, died Sunday August 30, 2020, age 81.      
    
      Honoring Mandy

Deep inside
I sighed, I cried;
Internal sighing, crying
So, so hidden and unbidden,
Bringing life's death to the forefront.
With an unexpressed
Heartbrokenness.

Mandy dear, unwell for years,
Brave and perky,
Generous to kin and peers,
Using what low strength she had
To cheer on others.

A state from fate we all shall share.
We were not there.
We will be there one dated day,
One way or t'other.

In the foremost corner of my mind
I honor Mandy.
Innermost, I find regard
I saw no hint of,
But by dint of her departing
With intention, mind and heart,
An unexpected urge,
A surge of empathy stirs, spurs me on
To honor Mandy.

Honoring Mandy 9.1.2020 Birth, Death & In Between II; Arlene Nover Corwin

Music
Busted by the groove the Wolf man’s got your ears Johnny Mercer brings tears throughout the years
Kissed by the lonely lullaby it embodies the empty spaces draws from shadows and evokes gentle sighs
Hear the pleading moving soul of one tortured by a memory through the instrument and voice it bleeds
In the cold world a tune decidedly changes moods brings unquestionable comfort a safe harbor it buys

Trade the dull the common for the images set to pace they spill they emerge they dance freeing to all
Torn air in this space the wayfarer the drifter slips on the invisible current anytime or hour its glorious sunset
The inner called it listens with formable grace it blends all to magnificence and lives in highest taste
The source abridged by your convenience it can say more or less your interpretation decides its state

Fix the volume find a tucked away place the room fills with all manner of trips and promises of returns
Listen to that horn blown out of the delta or those sacred streets of the greatest cool bourbon Street
A little Sacmo what a wonderful world and don’t forget to honor and extol the other horn Lena Horn
Slides and rifts they were and are the greatest gifts every one given a stage all leaves lasting wonder

The crescendo reached then the fall what imagination stirred to the maxim highs and depths what awes
Take stir my heart give it all you’ve got don’t give it back in a few make it last only return it when it’s full
Hard as stones soft as Eddie money you get a thrill they show you the road it used to cost a juke box dime
I hear one in the dorm grooving to the Cat all space filled as the waves sweetly moved by a quiet storm

Busted by the groove the Wolf man’s got your ears Johnny Mercer brings tears throughout the years
Kissed by the lonely lullaby it embodies the empty spaces draws from shadows and evokes gentle sighs
Hear the pleading moving soul of one tortured by a memory through the instrument and voice it bleeds
In the cold world a tune decidedly changes moods brings unquestionable comfort a safe harbor it buys

Trade the dull the common for the images set to pace they spill they emerge they dance freeing to all
Torn air in this space the wayfarer the drifter slips on the invisible current anytime or hour its glorious sunset
The inner called it listens with formable grace it blends all to magnificence and lives in highest taste
The source abridged by your convenience it can say more or less your interpretation decides its state

Fix the volume find a tucked away place the room fills with all manner of trips and promises of returns
Listen to that horn blown out of the delta or those sacred streets of the greatest cool bourbon Street
A little Sacmo what a wonderful world and don’t forget to honor and extol the other horn Lena Horn
Slides and rifts they were and are the greatest gifts every one given a stage all leaves lasting wonder

The crescendo reached then the fall what imagination stirred to the maxim highs and depths what awes
Take stir my heart give it all you’ve got don’t give it back in a few make it last only return it when it’s full
Hard as stones soft as Eddie money you get a thrill they show you the road it used to cost a juke box dime
I hear one in the dorm grooving to the Cat all space filled as the waves sweetly moved by a quiet storm

There is a  man at his typewriter
with tobacco product in his mouth
and between his fingers I don't
Know who taught him that plan

He wants to write the next Superman
But, Luther Corp. won't let him
Tess Mercer is at the helm
I'm sorry I wrote down those words

Now there is nothing left but trouble
So that Clark can serve a purpose
For what else would he be if not for his adversaries

We teach our children vigilance
Then wonder why they use it
This push and shoving has to stop
Before we all misuse it

Now he wants to write a love story
About the love that was served
During all those secret wars he shared

When all the love was still there
Before Invasion
And all the feelings that were there

And he holds his enemy in his arms
And embraces her, Compromises and Shares
Looks like a new girl to fly in the air
               a new girl to fly in the air

The city is turning to the sun like a flower
Cherry blossoms fall as I wander down Mercer
Someone built a nest on my fire escape
Cloudy days and sleeping in late
But it doesn't feel like spring at all

Maybe its because he's spring to me
He's the smell of rain on the sidewalk
And I hear his laugh in the rustling trees
And his heart in the warmth of the dog park

I have the heart of a hummingbird
Looking for somewhere to land, unheard
But he floats on air like dandelion wishes
Carrying promises to far off places

Tease me until I cry
I'd let spring pass me by
For just a day in the warmth of his sun

1/18/2015

here is one thing i have always liked
about myself:
i can force a poem.

12:27am on a sunday morning,
i wonder what you are up to
thinking probably you have more

**** than me,
more luck than me
and you'd told me once

walking down the orange streetlight sidewalks
in mercer county developments
"you gotta be in a good place in

life to do drugs, and i'm always
happy, i gotta celebrate that."
your crooked white teeth

curling upwards and your
blue scary sharp eyes smiling
i just shoved my fingers in the

ripped jacket pocket harder
and gripped your hand with my
other.

"i guess i could never
do too many then."
i'm kidding, though

and i keep taking hits.
i haven't heard from you in weeks
last i saw was your

scaryskinny naked legs
next to mine on a scaryskinny bed.
but i do know you're not exactly

suffering out there
and i wonder what your secret is.
i'll never see you again after those

scaryfast two weeks
i know that and yet sometimes i wonder
how i learned to force my poems so easily.

This, in response to someone who thinks I have a propensity for the negative:

    Accentuate The Positive*

In nineteen hundred forty-five
When jive was ‘it’,
Johnny Mercer wrote the hit,
“(You Gotta) Accentuate The Positive”.

It can be positive to see the negative,
Then go back to real living.
What does living really mean?
Accepting that life can seem mean,
For all life ends, which seems demeaning:
‘Seeming’ which may or not be.

One sees that we live greatly
Through both fear and vanity:
Fear of dying, fear of change,
Dependent on the trendy image;
Forging paths that lead us nowhere.
Seeking knowledge yet in *******;
We changes places, paces,
Lessen bulges, alter faces,
Binge on fashions, jumping in as if it’s best:
Adaptation at its worst.

We thirst for eternality
With no kernel of an insight
That the real answer is acceptance!

Life is not the latest style, technique or fancy.
Style and mode are but a trance, a passing fancy.
The true dance of life: acceptance!
Genuine, true, an unfeigned YES!
In compliance with the destined and the tested.

Minutes after seeing you
Folk forget you.
Knowing this, forget the ego.
Take these pointers: See what’s real.
Accept, adapt and steal away
From vanity and fear,
Attending to what’s nearest, dearest -
You in Now.  And loving Wow!
*See Youtube

Accentuate the Positive 8.12.2020 Birth, Death & In Between III; Circling Round Experience; Circling Round Reality; Arlene Nover Corwin