for some strange reason
i can feel my heart bleeding
for life, i am pleading
with death i am proceeding

this fake life that im leading
has got me asking for meaning
this isnt me, but its what im being

broken bridges between me and you
theres something i forgot to do
i forgot to make it up to you
after all the **** ive put you through

i still love you,baby  its true
in the end, all i need is you
and i know you still need me too
no matter what i'll always be here

i didn't mean to make you feel like you disappeared
i didnt mean to make our relationship queer
or to make you feel like you shouldn't be here
cause i want you to know, i love you my dear

please dont leave me alone in the dark
our love might be dead, but it can respark
our fire was huge, our ashes very stark
if you asked you to marry me, whats your remark

dont leave me standin here no  more
please please dont walk out that door
know our love hit bottom, but we can make it sore
when we split, my heart just tore

i promised you id make it up
i didnt mean to get mad and blow up
baby dont tell me twice, i know i ****** up
it didnt happen the way i set it up

well now imm put your finger through this ring
make the wedding singer sing
***, imma take you under my wing
cause now baby we're back on the upswing(:

Yeah sitting here thinking how old you be this year?
I shed a tear for everyday or year your not here
Babygirl Zekara Smith I'll always miss
When we used to kissed back in the park
Close to the dark you'll always bein my heart
Now I gotta new spark who stickin' to me like darts
Once I took my ordered steps know I  couldn't live without you no doubt
Everything I write about
Is about my past memories of love melodies  like the Isley I'll be
In a summer breeze spreading doobies with the homies
**** girl I see you rocking in the afterworld
Mediums felt through the pain that I felt and dealt with
And weighed me down almost to the ground
But somehow I'm still standing  strong and holding on
Seems like yesterday we used exchange words to say
Over the phone told you I'll be home
But home wasnt where I wanted it to be suddenly
I got page on my cellular saying you went into coma
**** im a gonna
Took a puff of marijuana
Cuz the pain bit me harder than the locks of an anacoda preyed by discourage
I didn't have the courage that you had to nurish
My brain even though I  was insane you stepped in and remained  calm strong energy never drains
I wish I could turn back the hands of time
replay our timeline and embrace much more sunshine
Seein' your eyes glare like sun light  to water stares
Reflection of self you was good for my health
I didn't know my wealth ya beautiful admire
Pass the physical desire hooked on ya love like a plier
Voiced to ya invisible amplifier and everything else that's hold above
Baby girl I need your lovee


In memory of my fallen love and my fallen seed that you carried I'll see y'all in the afterlife I'm doing my time on Earth to live out this curse
Zekara Smith (1988 Jan 6- 2006 Apr 3)
I'll always miss you **** what these haters say our will last forever and ever
My dear here me clear I still.shed a tear each day ya birthday passed my way
And that

Any poem just for you as long as it makes you feel the way I do
I'll sweeten it with sugary words of love and sprinkle it with care
penning by the light of the moon I'll scribble until break of dawn  
any poem just for you as long as it makes you feel, the way I do;

Any poem worth its weight in gold is a poem scribed with love  
No other love poem has ever been written on my page but yours  
You are the heart of this poem and you are my world of true ;  

Paper to pen, pen to paper, we are joined  together and never taper
Open your message and read what I wrote for you, beloved one
Every poet knows that a love poem has a lover and lovee, so please  
Move into my poem , settle in between the I  and the You,  ...love?

Any poem just for you, as long as it makes you feel the way I do,  
Any poem just for you, as long as it makes you feel the way I do.  

Jan 26, 2021

Ur the lock that's bent
In the head
When will u ever learn
How to lovee me
Deeply

My dearest love, I abstained from using speech to describe the state of my mind for fear of it not sounding genuine or cliché. I decided to write this down because I want to make sure I do justice to the strong emotion I have about this. It weighs heavy on my chest, baby, and I kindly ask you to read it.

To go or not to go. To please or to please, just who am I pleasing is the question that makes all the difference.

A holiday that all is aboard. They are eager to leave their lives behind temporarily. A plan to escape their mundane days of repetitive turmoil and boredom. Something that is so irresistibly tempting. Like a toddler who uncontrollably reaches out for a shiny marble that sparkles in the sun, relying fully on instinct rather than rationale.

But that could not be further from the truth for me. I'm like the flesh torn between hungry vultures who deny me from rest. I am torn between the glowing blue marble and the thought of choking on it. Unlike them, I do not want to leave my life behind temporarily. I don’t want to leave you behind. I cherish my everyday mundane life with you! To go or not to go. To please or to please? but just who am I pleasing?

Why is a plain “no” rarely an option?

I find myself often questioning the predicament that I find myself in. Why has God placed me at the crossroads of brutal decisions? To make a decision that seems right is to make the conscious act of inflicting pain on the other. A crossroad that leads to two extreme ends. Joy or sadness, relief or pain, life or death. It may all seem overly dramatic, but these words I write to you are like a crystal window into my untainted emotions. This is how I feel, baby.

I question my predicament, the same predicament that forced me into being a man with a few words for the sake of saving the skin of my relationship with the woman to whom I would give all my strength. For the woman with whom I yearn to share my every breath. I question myself: when? When can the two sides of the coin exist in perfect harmony? Perhaps, as long as it is not, harmony can only exist at the expense of inflicting suffering on the other side.

To live, to laugh, to cry, and to suffer together. To overcome, grow and conquer forever. For you to be in my arms, close to me, feeling our hearts beat for each other. I wish we could be married already under the everlasting oath that will forever seal our love for each other.

Again, this might all seem overly dramatic, but under the manly facade that curtains my crystal window is the soul of a boy who cannot bear to be separated from his lover.

Never have these words reached out to anyone but you. The words that pour out from behind my crystal opening; though we are distant, the thought of you is eternally lingering.

I'm with you, baby. Just as always, you are with me.

Happy 19th Monthesary, my dearest love.
I  LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABBY LOVEE <3<3<3

My dearest love, I abstained from using speech to describe the state of my mind for fear of it not sounding genuine or cliché. I decided to write this down because I want to make sure I do justice to the strong emotion I have about this. It weighs heavy on my chest, baby, and I kindly ask you to read it.

To go or not to go. To please or to please, just who am I pleasing is the question that makes all the difference.

A holiday that all is aboard. They are eager to leave their lives behind temporarily. A plan to escape their mundane days of repetitive turmoil and boredom. Something that is so irresistibly tempting. Like a toddler who uncontrollably reaches out for a shiny marble that sparkles in the sun, relying fully on instinct rather than rationale.

But that could not be further from the truth for me. I'm like the flesh torn between hungry vultures who deny me from rest. I am torn between the glowing blue marble and the thought of choking on it. Unlike them, I do not want to leave my life behind temporarily. I don’t want to leave you behind. I cherish my everyday mundane life with you! To go or not to go. To please or to please? but just who am I pleasing?

Why is a plain “no” rarely an option?

I find myself often questioning the predicament that I find myself in. Why has God placed me at the crossroads of brutal decisions? To make a decision that seems right is to make the conscious act of inflicting pain on the other. A crossroad that leads to two extreme ends. Joy or sadness, relief or pain, life or death. It may all seem overly dramatic, but these words I write to you are like a crystal window into my untainted emotions. This is how I feel, baby.

I question my predicament, the same predicament that forced me into being a man with a few words for the sake of saving the skin of my relationship with the woman to whom I would give all my strength. For the woman with whom I yearn to share my every breath. I question myself: when? When can the two sides of the coin exist in perfect harmony? Perhaps, as long as it is not, harmony can only exist at the expense of inflicting suffering on the other side.

To live, to laugh, to cry, and to suffer together. To overcome, grow and conquer forever. For you to be in my arms, close to me, feeling our hearts beat for each other. I wish we could be married already under the everlasting oath that will forever seal our love for each other.

Again, this might all seem overly dramatic, but under the manly facade that curtains my crystal window is the soul of a boy who cannot bear to be separated from his lover.

Never have these words reached out to anyone but you. The words that pour out from behind my crystal opening; though we are distant, the thought of you is eternally lingering.

I'm with you, baby. Just as always, you are with me.

Happy 19th Monthesary, my dearest love.
I  LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABBY LOVEE <3<3<3