I'm a ******* handful,
I told him when he met me.
I told him that it's important that he'll never ever sweat me.
He forced me to open up and then went on and read me,
And now he's upset because he seems to regret me?
I warned you, I'd tear you apart like a gazelle and I'm the lion.
Do you not remember conversations that resulted in me crying?
Do you not remember arguments because I kept on ******* lying?
I was ******* terrified yet you still bothered trying.
See, you thought you were the fix it man,
I intigued you 'cause I'm broken.
So you did your best to put me back together - softly spoken,
All the joking, ***** choking, you tried to make me open
Which just made me close up more, with your shoulder always soaking.
In the past, they didnt throw rocks - *they threw boulders.
I trusted so much that it has made me grow colder
'Cause I refuse to be mistreated, manipulated, and abused.
Your optimism shows me we see the world in different hues.
You think that I am perfect and I wish I could say the same,
I wish that I could be confident and proud once again,
I wish that I could love you and I was actually sane,
I wish that in my past I wasn't treated like a game.
I wish that I could appreciate everything you've done.
As I been healing, you've been breaking and hiding it all up.
I never meant to drag you to the hell I lived in before,
And I can't see the light in your eyes anymore...
I'm hurting to my core,
My hands ******, feet sore.
Wanting to redo everything that happened before.
I'm a ******* handful,
I told him when he met me.
I don't deserve to love him **even if he ever let me.
This is basically the classic story of a nice guy who meets a girl who used to have a good heart but was mistreated by so many guys that she becomes a cold *****. This nice guy tries to repair her broken heart and turn her back into the nice girl that she was, and succeeds but in the meantime ends up becoming an ******* from all the mistreatment she gave him. They reverse roles and now the girl sees how horrible she really was to him and regrets it but it's too late. Now she wishes he would have never even met her so he could've kept his good heart for someone who actually deserved to have it, and not have wasted it on her or that she could've accepted his love and not have took him for granted. I wrote this out of the blue and I have no idea how the idea even popped into my head but it's become one of my favorite poems that I've written.
