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M Blake Oct 2017
All I really want is to talk to you rather than distract myself with the petty things I do.

I'm almost gone.

A deep hollow in my chest leaches at my sanity leaving me bereft of a connection that could seal up the cracks in my heart from which leak my wounded humanity.

Scrolling through my Facebook feed leaves my hungering for what I really need.

The stupid games and apps light up my phone and make me forget that I'm alone.

Tomorrow creeps into each patchwork day. You can't hold time it slips away.

Each hour is fractured by distraction the sun is sinking before I gain traction.

While I'm not looking I miss the sunset. Time to cushion my head with this night's fret.

I won't sleep tonight, like most. My place is haunted. I'm the ghost.

I drift the twilight between realms with clipped wings and overwhelmed.

Sun and moon chase round about; light blinded eyes, thick-dark-muffled-shout.

That's the way it is at night things look different by starlight.

But which am I the sun or moon; do I give chase or am I pursued?

I won't find the things I seek. I'm stuck like this from week to week.

To be needed is exhausting, but to be not needed is accosting.

I need to hear you hearing me and be realified in that harmony.

Instead of trapped between death and life, I'll be free when I see you seeing that I'm Being. Existence could suffice, yet personhood is reciprocally conferred. Make me a Being like you then you'll be a christ.

What is my name?

You say that you can't read my mind as if I haven't put it down line by line.

I want to know I'm more than heat rising from the pavement to dissipate in the sky. Or else call me Mirage--If you can't see me, feel me, hear me.

I'm already gone.
30 Mar 2019
After struggling to accept my insomina, I realised that there was no point in forcing my sleep and so I just laid there in dark staring at the ceiling awaiting, my sleep.
As the seconds go by I submerge deeper and deeper into my thoughts 
Kinda like meditation, with scatted emtions and memories
Like seeds on an open field.
This rapid thinking eventually lead to a feeling of reminiscence
Envying the feeling of having a clear mind, wanting to have some sort of control over sufficating thoughts and emotions which contribute to my ever rising anxiety. Missing the uncontrolable yet comfortbale feeling of drowsiness that indicates that my sleep is near 
After going through a sea of emotions, I tire myself out and hear muffled sounds of birds chirping and dogs barking, signs of a new day arriving.
And that's when I start to lose control, slowly but surely. My mind is now at ease and I am at peace with my demons, my movements became timid my heavy eyes were shut. And "finally"
I whispered. I fell asleep.
Jayde Jan 2019
Body breaking down
Spirit growing dim
No will to fight
No point to live
People say push
People say strive
Easy to say when you're on the other side
People say fight
People say try
People say **** it up
Hey why don't you give it a try
Spend a day in my shoes
24 hours if you dare
If you're so sure it's easy here take your chance
Step in for me on a bad day
See how long you last
I bet you an hour before you tap
Step in for me when my body screams in pain
Experience all the aches and pains
Last just ten minutes before you complain
Walk a mile or two
Take a drive
Climb the stairs
See how long you last before you grimace and want it to end
Spend just one night in my place
Just a night
See what it's like when my insomina flares
I bet you two hours before you cave and take the meds
It's easy to say words when you aren't the one dying
It's easy to brush aside when you aren't the one crying
Words are just words
Spend a day in my shoes and see which words you choose
Jawad Dec 2017
ILL
The bones scream
Hard
Louder than the night

The mind dances
Obsessed
Round some trivial thoughts

The body burns
Alarm
No sweat can **** the flames

Insomina
The eyelids close
When morning opens eyes
Feeling really sick

— The End —