All the pain a man could muster in his lifetime:
Compressed to a minute.
Then, send it scattershot through the airwaves.
A morose melody. A lovely female voice inflects....
"May I override your rationality and reason?"
Imprints a depression on the mind;
a rope around the deckhand's neck.
Does her voice now command your neocortex?
Yes, but deeper still: it denigrates.
Instills an insistence toward apathy:
existential treason.
musical notes denote a debt to be paid.
They accept just the one currency.
Trade melancholic fervor for nihility...
A payment must be made.
Posit the ship is a sojourn in deep water.
Feeling A sorrow you can't adjourn.
How quickly you will learn:
Jumping overboard
CAN be an act of kindness.
A slave to that recalcitrant sorrow.
Jetsam yourself to lighten the load on your psyche:
It's ideal over facing another tommorow.

Seafaring folk
assume a siren's song is beautiful.

I felt The Earth shake when she sung.
There goes the air from my lungs.
What more to give? Here.
Borrow my body and tongue.
Sitting in the auditorium
of my own soliloquy.
This state of mind is anti-reverie.
Your falsetto sonnet showed memories.
My family.My mishaps.
An altercation out of ennui-with my father.
Before he left,that last thing he said to me...

But.

Why WAS he levied into conflict
over Antioch?
On a whim prescribed, of course;
The pope demanded A crusade on sin.
Father died inside the walls of Jerusalem.
Bled out fighting alongside other mortal men:
Father, is your heaven more beautiful,
than your grand daughter's grin?

Captain has seven sailors hold me still.
I am suppressed inside the fo'c'sle.
He counts down from sixty:
"Let us see if time sets him straight."
A siren's enthrall doesn't agitate long.
Yet,
Even after the weight of it lifting,
it leaves you forlong.
Sometimes-I still feel-
underwater...is that where I truly belong?

Seafaring folk
assume a siren's song is beautiful.
                          I know better.

A violent storm materializes from otherwise
sunny, fair weather.
I guess the myths of the Tempest here are true:
It attacks ships sailing near the fabled
isle Revenir.
Until then,for my own safety,
I had been enroute to the brig.
"All hands on deck
(including me and my captors)
Secure those loose rigs.
Batten down the hatch.
Cap'n is going to steer us-
Right through this Tempest's heart!!"
Steady now.
Or his hubris will tear the ship apart.

I felt indifferent as waves
pummel us relentlessly.
Contrite as our vessel
won its war with the sea.

                   I jump overboard.

Instant remorse.
Father, can your God please alter my course?
A mistake.
This can't be my legacy.
I'm sinking.
Because of what a siren sung.
I can't breathe. Feel water filling in my lungs.
Siren,take what you won
then leave me undone.
I'm sinking.
Is this how I meet my end?
Shimmer from the sunlight fades
as I descend.
Sinking.
And I'll never be found...
My fear, my flailing. My failure to float.
the ocean swallows it all,
ingurgitates my hope.
Is this how you felt?
Facing your ill-fated destiny?
Father.
You always tried-and failed -to quell my misery.
That last thing you said...
Preaching your god's salvation as remedy.

                        I'm sinking.

All along its been my sorrow
that's drowning me.

-

Behind funereal lights
My eyes dim the day
How I walk on my way
As the Observer

Set far bereft
With the tenures of death
My presence inflects
The Observer

But silhouette smiles
Began to deject
For 24 minutes by the fire
And tears more profound
Than the breadths which inspire
Melded with the waves of the sound

Reflection,
Oh reflection
Who is this man?
With a strong brow and real estate eyes
Oh, the mirror was wrecked
In a spiritual hex
Now the only face I can't check is mine

Remember, you lovers
With roads paved in gold
Highways will lead you to suburbs
Grounded on earth,
Look up to the sky
And there you will find
The Observer

Because you come in the hum of a familiar song.
It's always at night and it lingers just to terrify my fright.
I'm not concerned with how it sounds, but why it won't go away.
Why most songs I know refuse to leave and only worsen when they stay.
It's never intentional but the lack of intent it inflects and infects the left over flesh I have revealed from these wounds left.
Because if I wear my emotions on my sleeves then there's not enough skin left to even bruise.
I don't hold the past far above my head,
So I don't understand why I believe parts of me are dead.
I just know when I was with you is when I felt so alive.
So why can't I seem to feel that way again.
So it's all the same and I listen to the past to feel the pain, but my nerves don't react the same because I live in the present so why won't the pensions dissolve I have resolve I got it solved I'm sick of this hole.
And the candle burns at both ends.
Mending the emotions and the forgetful notions of hopes sent.
I just wish I had answers, but the more I ask the more I have questions.
It seeme like life wants me to stay guessin, or at least I can fool it and pretend.
By learning nothing and staying silent and bearing this suffering when I hear your song end.
So it never does.
Even after I fall in love.
Maybe all wounds heal the same way, but others tend to stay longer than they'd like to explain.
Because being in love with you was a vacant room, I lived idly through day by day.
The warm colors were the only other reasons I had to live for back then.
When food had no taste, but your lips stained my face and I could never hope to find that same place, or purpose in anyone else.
So please don't leave a stain.
Next time I let someone in I won't beg them to stay or throw a parade when they say our times up and the only love I'll leave you with is lies.
So I'll part my finally goodbyes when I've grown and shown you all that I'm no longer.
Founder and stronger.
I choose to live in the present.