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NDHK Jul 2013
It was a dusty moonlight fall
when I walked into your room.
I had this urging inside that made it impossible to sleep.
Talking to you in whispered laze about trivial things that were always on our minds soothed me.
So I decided calm my stormy mind with placating conversation.

Sickness had been shaking up your serenity lately but it was nothing you couldn't tolerate, you always said.
The air in waking life had been feeling coppery.
You were already awake as I stepped through the door and directly to the window.
Let the breeze join us.
I sat down easy on the side of the bed and huffed.
Indicating the verbal sieve was full.

You broke the waiting with a quote by a Greek poet that I remember you referring to more than once over the years.
Rolling my eyes at the familiarity, I just nodded in understanding.
So then I let out the worries.
I haven't felt the need to get so deep in a while.
It felt comforting to share my darkest bothers with you.
You, always knowing how to put me in perspective.
Finding the brakes to my crazy train.

When I'd lightened up some you told me innocuous counter thoughts.
Like always.
Smiling and giggling at the inevitable jokes that followed eased things.
My heart brimming with warmth, I wished to have the ambiance captured in a jar to take with me into the light of day.
Maybe to wash away the constant taste of pennies.

I chose to conclude our banter with a confession.
One that I knew I'd be teased relentlessly for but with empathy no doubt.
I told you of a person.
One who swept into my life.
Swept me up.
And you snorted at that.
I would've gotten offended if not for your encouraging smile that was plastered on your face.

I guess that was the moment you thought was perfect to give me the ultimate ego boost.
Life lesson or what have you.
Linking our pinkies you said to shut up and listen to what you were going to say.
Don't interrupt with sarcasm, you warned faux sternly.

You said,
"I love you silly girl.
If you believe anything in your life.
Out of the books your read, the music you hear, the people you talk to, remember this above everything.
You deserve love.
You deserve to work hard and struggle.
Having a piece of the world in your palms is your right by being human.
All of your flaws behind that guiless face deserve notice and acceptance.
You are a divine piece of perfect creation in Gods eyes.
You deserve love.
And you deserve to give that love to whomever needs it.
When it comes down to it, all that's left is what the heart has squeezed out over its lifetime.
That's what is born and remains.
You deserve love."

Squeezing the finger that linked us, signified your wisdom was finished.
Shaking out the hair in my eyes had camouflaged the tears that snuck up.
I had to think up something to say that wouldn't give away how much that rattled me with something soothing.

I lifted my head, fighting back my self conscious need for a quip, to tell you I believed you.
I did believe you in that moment.
Because you knew me better than anyone.
I believed you.

Looking from the window where a few leaves fell in from the breeze I opened my mouth and took a breath.
I stopped short.
You weren't looking at me.
You were before though.
But not now.

Then I just knew.
I shook our fingers to be sure.
But my guts knew.
I didn't even get to tell you I believed you.
Or that I loved you.
My chest ached with a swirl of emotions that ricocheted around the small cavity.

I didn't realize until much later that you left me something.
Hope.




*©NDHK
Ken Pepiton Sep 2022
-Xenophon leads me on… in another place… here
Aft amorning entranct with possibilities. Yo crero.
Someday you, is reading thisday me, when
from Under the Volcano
to the Lighthouse, bemused, as muses use us. Little things, elves. Ves-try best try, purple robe,

- the nobels dismounted
By and by, we learn the rhythm, sing song, none
Said wrong -goin’ up country… doin’s as we do…
goin up country, bring some ***** home
Woe baby war war war, holy war, face o’ god,
- Click, new channel, and the other one goes on… abysmally pro fundity, pay eh…
No mortal may gaze into, as the window of his own soul,  may gaze eyes ablaze, having
Witnessed the fact that the shining thing, tasting
The wait and see tree, {we asked why we could not eat the olives from the tree, but remembert green persimmons. So we let patience work}
We name first fruits, from the end of time, wait
Wait wait wait wait wait
Fifty years. Just wait. Suffer it to be so, never go
-away hungery, or mad, as the author, seeks cause, aitia, reason come to cause,
meet me at the t. aitia, I am, as amusement, a thoth thought that any Solomonic emulation can run. Pocket Pal, or a B natural Blues Harp, or
Some times I sing. Or whistle, just to let me know,
We remain just this sane, by a thread…
Of Anabasis, goin’ up country
Bound, bound bound by my brothers,
Marching
As to war, God gives us greed, t’ meet our need
Jones to the bones, pure-dee vine curiosity
how were such armies formed, gathered up,
from where, whence came the brazen helms
the hoplites sport on inspection and demo charge,
with a roar like highschool foot ball kick-off,
same surge of mob adrenal reasoning, tuned in,
sheee it, we, she-us, wh-then, the signal dropped out. Zero beat.
Right on. Tune tested, best of 300, in the top 3.
- look there were multiple versions
- the story of mankind, as we branched,
by means of confoundment… flattening,
Tin into brass, folding, and flattening, pounding
On an oak stump, oh,
Long time ago, this stump, see we cut it down,
slow, slow, old man fades, see,
Time as thought is time as time, to me, thinking this is all I bloomed to become.
About 1957, I learned that an old Persian olive
cultivar on Crete, or anywhere around there,
takes fifty years to reach maturity, full fruct-
if-ication…

So me, the guy after the secondplace hero,
Xenophon, you know, the rich geek,
Teddy Roosevelt, right, right right, just
like his character,
Legendary… like mine. My best me, I did boast,
But freedmen, as a class. Raise a brow, one notch,
Per sold out, wait, wait, wait till we see, the whites of their eyes, the others, sub-human, by god… hold your fire… wait
Or regret you have but one life to give, for your country. Do and die, be an Israelite indeed, guiless.--- unbeguiled, no guilt for knowing…
And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not… in deed…

High-brow mode. Click. Read the underlay,
life’s books, exist as onion-skinned palimpsests,
- Secret writing , not hid, just here, under
- Stood stones, such as we all learn, sing
- Song,  look at us, we’re marching, sing along… to Pretoria, pre- torie, eh, we
Dropped out. And ate dust. Dots in the distance,
Thunder in some dreams, tuned to take a non-anxious thought from a child so sure,
I’ve got a mansion,
just over the hilltop, in that bright land of after all.
We die. And lo’, we live, as words,
A word, to the wise, is enough… true rest compresses trust abused as a beggars tin-cup, to catch the rich man’s ball…
yes, I owned a silver cup… not tin, silver.
I was as proud of that cup as what’shisname,
The Left-handed Son of One-eyed Jack.
He had a buffalo hide. A whole, shaggy hair,
old, too old for fleas, buffalo hide,
he held in pride, the ownership
of special things kind of pride, not the gay abandon chains and don a Phryigian cap and
wrap the headsman’s axe in our threshing staves.
How high the brow, I raise, singlely, no, I lack that gene, yet, my lip doth sneer, left side only,
Thus, we flip the lense, then flip the pixels, yes,
Film effects, chaos in beauteous sfumato or chiaroscuro, something computers were taught,
finally, by sight. True, half-tone tech, made Chiaroscuro Computer Art, vision via metrics based on artist’s eyes, won me first prize,
An the 1986 Mohave County Fair, where we
Displayed our wares, and our networked Macs.
SE- latest, dual 3,5” floppies…
$3200, out the door. I never sold a one,
but to me. Wholesale, minus my commission, as the flooring was running out, interest
about to come for the accounting and the vig,
Keep hope alive, pay us all you can, we say when,
Enough’s enough, left right left, mental exercise,
Stretch the concepts… essentials first, must know
Knowns, we knowns, we all know, stories with morals, since the cradle,
So it seems, some think wombed Bach is better than acid rock,
time will tell, so they say. Vonnegut mutters,
So it goes.
Canned Heat, on youtube, at my whim, yeah,
Play it from the second verse, we all can think,
We were singing that, when Kurt Russell was a computer wearing tennis shoes, in a strange
Disney characters from the real Mickey Mouse club, with Lonnie, and Cubbie, and Annette –
Beach Blanket Bingo—war story
Flip for it, the novel thread is chance, fishing
For mental means to ends in minds, aimed at peace, post happiness achieved, on the Lincoln plan promoted with Famous Amos Chocolate Chips of the old block,
Yes, as you may imagine, carbon-steel, is new
To mankind, almost all the tools we use, are new.
Since 1969, have we learned any thing that might ease a child’s mind… after My Lai, or the like,
As soldier ants, enforce the others must die, we are protectors of the flag and the concept enclosed in the word republic, a we form, regimented,
Tools,
Trades and crafts,
Guardians of liberty,
Priests and experts in knowing signs
Left on stones for all to see, see, see and
So-bemused become, awe sets in, couch lock
Right, too right, mate, good enough, we got mind
Sunk… lowest point in south America is in Argentina. And what do you know, so is the highest. Learn it once,
Know it for ever, after any ever in progress.
So, that is all I had to say about that. at the time.
Miss Me Nov 2017
Little small hands
   Little small feet

What beauty lies
   So hidden beneath

A child's reach
   Should always be met

But an adults
   Why?
After all it's just grief

It's easier to hold a grudge
    Then to take a little peek

Even when small hidden souls
    Have much to teach

But it's the guiless blinder
    You choose to keep

That way you can escape
    The blame that you breached

For so selfish is the way
    Of this so called life

When you think nothing
    Of a life you didn't care to reach
V L Bennett Jul 2018
You wait for nothing. Patient
like the prairie enduring the burning.
I could be you.
You
could be me.
I practice the burbling gurgle
I'll use in my senility
dream of warm sheets
wet with my own *****.
Your stillness has already encompassed
my penultimate fervor.
Schizophreniacs often rhyme
because they have the time.
A dime used to buy a line
from me to you
but you don't answer the phone anymore
so I don't think I'll call.

Hard work accomplished your Nirvana.
Your casual grace sanctifies the electrodes,
you become guiless God of the wires
and I race with myself
trying to catch up to my own possibilities.
It just comes naturally to some.
Mashi Jul 2019
As the borderline turns to Darvaza crater,
Flaming the fuming fueds,ashes flying away,
Lit ablaze are the souls of saviours with no deter;

Firing away vigour, vaporizing wonted bravery into the wick of this universe..
Little did they know that fuel inside the lantern was indeed rising up to illuminate the darkness that's perverse;

Back home  love yearns, Care wanders,
meekly afloat, adrift to reach out the fallen.. Yet respectful honor prevails to veil
The luminous eyes, tormented cheeks,
Weak lined lips, trembling jaws, quivering voice of sullen..

The entire world pays thier respect, celebrates the martyrdom..
While they are caught in a stillness
A conflict of defeat and pride..
Chaos of doom and bugle of knight..

They remain the chosen ones,
Fighting fearlessly, winning vehemently,
Living grandeur of guiless life gallantly..

This righteous spirit seized me,
helplessly tethered mind becomes free,
To look up to to the sky and find them shine brightly against all odds..
smiling in their pain as though,feeling no vain..

Time to put cowardice under pyre,
Remind how the consequences can be dire,
Staying true to our essence of humanity
Make them surrender to hue of
conviction in fatality..

— The End —