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anna Mar 2019
shadows dance around my room.

it's a party of darkness through which I must sleep. the noisy fists incessantly pound on fleshy white periosteum- I’m bleeding.

I'm gasping from inebriation and
blurred vision the party induced,

tripped up steps on drowsy meds- my memory, now abaited
replaced by these
dark guests

my chest
lurched, poised and ready to jump over the edge of my rib cage.

and I'd **** for water,
but all the bartenders offer
are straight jackets, quetiapine fumarate and more paranoia.

there's only room for one person in here.
but there are two voices I hear.
pseudoneurotic schizophrenia
Countdown to homelessness –
mars this earthlinked sole Harris - son
panhandler would would register
pyrrhic victory won.

10…9…8…3..2..1…
Found me linkedin at the end of my wits
mein kampf and hard times
playing on big screen at the Ritz
vamoose oft times motivations quits
for -- no money iz the pits
without any rich Uncle (Sam) in my orbitz
to ease worse case scenario than bing covered
head to toe with nits
if...offered residence among...
hive feel stung as beelzebub doth buzzfeed,

after being espied,
targeted in the crosshairs
of excellent marksman -
credo, ethos, and holistic lifestyle - a mitts
fa this contemplative, furtive,
and intuitive chap lits
of luminous joie de vivre
will emanate like bland kits
and biting the bullet
no less tasty than true grits,
the latter touted by Euell Gibbons
of bias, discrimination, fuhgeddaboudit
suddenly resplendent with blinding blitz
warp and whoop of bits.

Medium of spoken or written word
avast milieu this wordsmith doth assay,
the aim of said missive constitutes
avoiding living in cardboard box or bidet
house zing debacle looms approximately
soffit teen eaves from this day
if scant success, this atypical, ideal
and zeal - lot might post himself on eBay
or mebbe get swooped up
by 10,000 cannibals and turned into a fillet
which mish mashed matted mush
will resemble fifty shades of gray.

Words above and below
written June thirtieth,
two thousand seventeen indicates,
when rental lease
will find our psyches fillet
so this buster brown
(actually Eastern European Semitic caucasian)
hooped to stave then
turning fifty plus eighteen shades of gray
weigh past time of life

to gather rose buds – boot hay
touted as AARP candidate
my inner child doth inlay,
I approach outer limits
per twilight zone of this blue jay
youthful looking married male -
with doe eyed wife does not buck,
donnybrook and neigh
against mortality reckons,
a safe and secure domicile

important basic needs
(codified by Abraham Maslow) – okay
this LVIII year young chap
haint expect tin tubby be housed
in courtly Highland manor,
yet anxiety sans poverty will play
a cruel hoax ruse trick finding me
to jump off a bridge –
with pier - sing quay
King Crimson ready

to bring cessation of existence –
when nada stinging ray
of salvation pleasantly doth sashay
and bring relief before
unwelcome ominous killer fate
inches closer incrementally from today
this father of deux darling
then near grown daughters
might fare better brexit - ting America
high tailing dreams to Uruguay.

Nary a snowball chance in hell
this alter kaker will nab employment
since receiving social security
emotional disability for countless years
(viz anxiety, dysthymia,
obsessive compulsive disorder, and prone
to become emotionally panicky
and paralyzed in social situations)
relies on medications,
which palliative doth alleviate, calm, and endow
relief (from debilitating, harrowing,
and lacerating quality of being alive.

LIST OF PRESCRIPTION MEDICATIONS THEN TAKEN:

1. Clonazepam 0.5 MG Tablets;
(generic - Klonopin); (1 tablet 3x daily).
2. Floxetine Hcl 40 MG CAPS; (Generic - Prozac).
3. Prazosin 1 MG capsule - 1 capsule nightly.
4. Quetiapine Fumarate; (generic - Seroquel) -
50 MG; (2 tablets 2x daily).
5. not a misprint – a higher dosage,
this pop pops prior to bedtime.
Quetiapine Fumarate; (Generic - Seroquel);
100 MG; (1 tablet at bedtime).

Sought an affordable place
against the sands of time
thyself and spouse race
already envisioning an outlook
that doth harken to trace
living non social on bleak street -
forever reaching for salvation
like Samuel Coleridge Taylor,
his rime of the ancient mariner
or John Keats lovers for’ ever glazed
asper ode on a Grecian (formula) vase.

Mine status begs turing
vibrant with near blinding light
could inform this bloke
if any long term living accommodations
ever available, or perhaps
if no can do versus tae kwon do might
be privy to share information about
any eco-friendly community
to forestall any unpleasant plight
specifically being pitched out
on the streets  with thee spouse
onto the bleak cobblestone streets
of the urban jungle, where right
iz determined by spittle and spite
and valuables must be clutched tight.

OCCUPATION:
I receive social security disability
for re: max him mum,
long and fostered, during the latter half
of the Fox and Roach pelted per
pesky pointedly nineteen hundred
and fifty nine
ever since my conception in utero -
likened to a luke warm Caldwell,
and the entire century 21.

STATE: protracted, anxiety
COUNTRY: United States

— The End —