There a few things I need to say, and this isn't a poem. its more of a letter or a ***** out. I have seen the crap you post. I don't get u *** u act like u were some innocent victim. Im some horrible lying **** who broke ur heart. ***? Let me say my dear boy that I have loved u from day one and I still do. ur the one whos got this anti -me thing going for no reason *** ur afraid of letting your true feelings be felt and delt with. I may have said a fib or two when we spoke online the first time but at least everythg I said then wasn't a complete lie unlike others...... I don't hold that against you. I don't bring that up to you and talk **** about it. You seem to think that just because I didn't ever say I loved you that I didn't... it was so hard for me not to say it or to try and not feel it *** of her sitting in your bed each nite. that's why I didn't ask you stuff *** I didn't want to seem like I was being all nosey and being all in your business. you didn't ever say so I didn't ask. I figured if you wanted to tell me you would. I didn't want you to think I was trying to know your all of ur personal ****. I tried so hard to not have feelings for u and I thought I did a good job but that too was a joke. I have never felt like I do about u. it ***** that we don't talk like we used to and really ***** that we don't see each other....I miss u so fuckn bad. I still cry over u *** u were my perfext match. you are strong where I am weak and vise versa. Ur really great in the areas I need help in and I can help in the ones ur not in. I still want you to read to me. I still remember the things u said to me the first times we used to talk. the time where I fell in total love with u. I pains me to see some of the stuff u say on there. I didn't mean to not ask things or seem interested in you or act like I didn't want you to come over....I did that *** I wanted to see if u really wanted to come over.. um...all I wanted was to be with u from the beginning and I still do  but I don't think u will *** your trying your hardest to forget me. I guess im  not one to stand out and keep one wanting ......I wish I could erase all ive found out since oct 1st *** it makes it even harder to get over u....I don't want to but its really stupid to keep trying if you have made urself believe that u hate me or convinced yur self u do. I will write more if I remember but I have to go to bed now and I hope u sleep too... It just upsets me that I meant nothing like the others and that uve made urself hate me.....when I cant stop loving u.....this *****.

I cough up
your menstrual blood
when I hear his voice.
His fuckn words fall
with a thud.
I don't listen 'cause
I have that choice.
He's a weasel
wheelin' around
to push his ware.
When you want him
he can't be found,
he ain't nowhere.
I cough up
your menstrual blood
and that's no lie.
He ain't a missle
he's a dud,
the farthest thing from dope,
'way too far from fly.
The moral of the story is...
if you can be free from Scott
you can be scott-free.

© 2012

Bite my tongue to keep from screaming
Rip open my chest to show I'm bleeeding
Carve your smile into my skin
Just to watch you laugh again

Slit these wrists just to breathe
Vent this **** growing inside of me
Tear out this heart, watch it pound
Just to stomp it in the ground

Watch me burn myself to ashes
Slowly cover my skin with gashes
Release the poison swelling inside
Escape the agony that resides

Flood these lungs with screams of rage
Scribble the anger on this page
Scratch out my eyes so I can't see
The misery that's fuckn killing me

Coffee coffee a delacasy with a
tasty dehydrating quality
Farmers worked the feilds
where there once was a beautiful yield
Why the hell is my tongue all pasty
whatever cause that was Fuckn tasty

Chuck the paper cup, disrupt they all add up
bite your plastic shrunken lid lip
take it, grind it, its best brewed with a slow drip
this thing we speak of, it desires
the minds insatiable crazy love fires

Black or cream and with a little sugar
to some its a dream
ya sure theres water or h2o in there
but the caffine doesnt discriminate or even care
Substance abuse
people and nature swinging from a noose

I drove to see you
but you were gone.

It's cold as ****
even with all those lights...

I wish I was at home where
the cat becomes 'that fuckn cat'.

And the tree
embraces  
the
Angel atop,
as the critter scurries up the limb.

Ornaments are broken and so are hearts.

It's whiskey and candy canes
and a long walk home.

I'll probably wake up sobbing again tomorrow
Don't mind my drunken confessions
I have the tolerance of a gnat
But the emotional girth of an elephant
Weighing my light body down
That's my tragedy I suppose
If I were to be dramatic
Though drama emits catharsis
Drama is meaning and beauty - creation
In short: not me
In other words
I'm love sick
Sick for it
Sick with it
Sick in its absence
Just straight fuckn sick
Don't mind my vulgarity
It is what one uses
When convention fails
Expletives are the outcasts in language
They wear leather and smoke all night
While the rest of the dictionary
Sleep, pay taxes, and attend PTA meetings
Profane words are death row inmates
Offering their final translucent confessions
Stripped of pomp or rhetoric
****. Mierde. Hijo de la puta madre.
There I go again
It's late and I'm on my third drink
And am becoming vaguely beautiful
In spite of the tarantula
Crawling inside me, through me
Its prickly legs sprawling
Its ugliness spreading
Until I feel like clawing
Clawing at my breast
To get it out
Get it out!
Anyhow, I'll let you sleep
Shhhhh....shhhhh....
it's fine, really
Come morning I will sob on my stoli-scented pillows
While others yawn and smack their alarm clocks...

today i feel like putting a gun to my temple
colt .45 ravaged my cranium only so i don't have to go to temple
no more sins i need to have confessed
polished sleek glock; my prayer ejected through the chamber
PULL THE TRIGGER -- FUCKN PULL IT MAN!!
hold on, the last time i come to terms with contraband
am i filled with love,  joy, despair or anger?
all i need is my reverend spirit to unclothe its self
i no longer succumb to the falsity of needing to have impressed


cut the gesture man
you just be playing chicken
but when i quit playing
you'll hear me squawk
one shot you'll know i've been stricken
farmer Joe tell him this is his last wake-up call
and that bright light in the mornin bruh
we all know sunrises don't last for a split second  


POP! muuu fckkkaaa

It's an antiquated photograph.
That dates back to when I was .... oh
half this bad.)))))))
It's like saying coffee whitener.
Isn't time and space.  
Retrace the clock to
get my ******* amateur status back)))))).
No lori from retail staff says coffee White ners just that non lactose crap)))))
She likes the coffee bitter and she might just ******* have it Black*
Talking about the cack. *Oh **** I might just be
A nother spastic asss ..... )))))but
Im asking for bombastic love.
To drastically eradicate bad habits that.)))))
Crash me into
Straight jackets
And plaster my drag photographs....)))))

On every window east of private school
Like look you guys that *** named clarence actually has a past)))))((((((
In cranbrooks yearbook.
Look here's my outdated classic autograph
Next to the crazy waves
And the knock off.
Korean minted starter cap.)))))
So **** the world we falling back.
Apparently I'm clarence.
In the rap game. But just how fuckn sad is that.
Come see my photograph
Its hanging next. To your *** therapist
A real ******* time traveling.
Distractive **** that smells like aqua man...... you ******* face the fishy underside of aftermath....
They'll drop you in a river.
With concrete boots. So ******* how now dah

I'm always aiming for the highest point of understanding for the person my words are meant for. But since we first started messaging and conversing I craved more conversation with you in a sense that I feel like I'm missing out if I don't talk to you. I like your smile, your laugh, your vibe... and I’ve just met you.You’re beyond beautiful and that’s a perfect decor for your depths, personality, and substance. I feel a mental connection there that fills all the other areas we haven't gotten to explore yet such as a deeper emotional connection or a physical connection. I meet women sometimes and I feel lust but speaking with you is like a conversational lust lol idk if that makes sense. And on a side note your voice is so fuckn attractive lol when you laugh and you put your hand up to your mouth. You have a routine about you and it’s just dope af. The way you carry yourself is something that should be almost idolized. You don’t seem to spend all your time looking for happiness, it’s like you know doing that will lead you to finding happiness in the wrong places sometimes. You just find joy in what is. You just want to Be who you are, not what you're perceived to be. And most importantly you don't get stuck between categories and definitions

Once flesh, now bone
Once bone, now tooth
Once innocent
Now fuckn uncouth.

Light behind closed eyes
Ignite iris and char sight
Rose coloured glasses
Misplaced.

They love me
They leave a light on for me
But, I still utilise
The light behind closed eyes.

Now I'm home
I'll hold you
With your arms
By your side.

Sigh.

Sickly circles
And a rash
That won't seem to go
Once flesh, now bone.

Things I primarily don't understand
How you say your a gem. A major 10. I'm a loser. Your the better man
Number 2 is my confusion.
It's the ever illusive
Dan the ******* weatherman.
Call me goof. I suppose.
The formula never consisted of a better plan.
I stand against the weathered glass.
And beg your dad to lick my sweaty ***.
Machete glass.
And paper cuts.
And weapons ..... right....
You ******* bet I'm right.
I'll set your life into a cleaner scene. If your worried your the methy type.
Who gets things messy right.
Who does drugs and drinks most every night
**** the world.
I'm more in line with. Forgive thyself.
On not just one. But on fuckn every night. Before you close your eyes.
And grip your pillow type.
Remind ****.
Not to sit inside the tactile breaches
Of your inner mind.
And sit inside.
Might get a ****** mind.
So left enverose.
Sifts. Like salt or sodium.
You know inside my soul.
The ******* weather's fine.
I created more than mold from clay.
Paint by numbers.
Underrated raps that come in ******* heavy weight...
So admit. Before we catch the snitch like playing quidditch in harry Potter's eyes. You ******* gotta die....
You tattled. I feel bad.
They shouldn't a friggin stabbed you guy
I know you felt bad
But that's what happens
For ratting on your fam.
If you ain't a family guy....
I wish you hadn't done that
Kind of yapping.
***** the tragic type.
But you know what happens
To the cast of magic Mike after they
Get yapping about.
The gals. They ****** back stage.
For cash. Respect and ******* bragging rights

Work toward your **** goals
While they continue to move the Goalposts

Next, endless Emergency Powers
So they continue to keep you subservient

Don't be fooled by the hand that they hold
Fuckn insanity, your soul has been sold

People that I called
Family...
Walked out on me
God I got nobody,
all I got is you..
so God...
please dont leave.
Cause in this storm,
the devil is attacking me.
God please hold me..
Dont loose my hand
Cause I
CAN'T live without
YOU...
I WONT!!!!!!





YOU AGAIN.......
knocking on my door.
Depression you here to hurt me some more? got no where else to go? I was scared you would take over me. You did. No prescription can get rid of you. You knocked me down mentally. Thanks for keeping me up at night. Cant sleep you got the worst of me. The pain its cuts me so fuckn deep I'm so tired. Please I'm hoping and praying I will leave this world and find peace. You need to leave. Not me.


No one cares if I'm dead or alive. I've got no friends.
Can u imagine being 5 and wanting to die?? I just hurt so much I'd rather be flying high. Everyone says I'm delusional. I guess they wont see the real me until they have to bury me.


You see a shooting star?make a wish for me. Going thru alot and its hitting me. I break my bones for everyone I love. Somehow they are never there for me
It's like they ain't hearing me. They tell me to open up to talk.. really you all are not ready for it. You have not seen pain like this. You never seen a ***** as strong as this.


Why do we love the things that hurt us. Why do we close our eyes when we pray? Or when we cry? Guess it is because the most beautiful soul most beautiful things in life are not seen. But are felt with our hearts.


Trying to be strong for my love of my life. I'm losing my mind . Losing myself in this battle called LIFE, what helps me is when I feel like I wanna die I just cry. Feel like it's to hard to take. Time to FAKE. No one will know. They all got places to go. Now it's my turn to hide and be no more



What if I told you I cry myself to sleep every night cause thats when my demons love to fight. What if I said I want to take my own life nothing I ever do or say or have or had matters. They say god protects you and this is just a milestone. This is a test from the devil. You will get past this level only he can make u successful.

This write
Is about you.

You're still young
You have time
We all see the strength
In the lightening from your eyes.

Life is a fickle arrangement of sweets
Sometimes you gotta eat the licorice.

This love in your heart
Combined with
Those things you didn't say
This is not how it has to be.

Don't mix your thought
With feeling
It will leave you unsure
Follow your heart OR your head.

People love you
Our circles are small
But the love we project
Embraces us all.

I fuckn believe in you
So dig fukn deep

Find the light which defines who you are
You've got this.

She's younger than me maybe
She likes me, no conditions apply
I fall deep and stay deep
When I see her smile from her eyes.
Shes been through the ringer
A life many would've given up
But she pushed through, maybe for her kids
Maybe for the hope of true love.
I've made promises I intend to keep
A life we've chosen to live
I will love and adore, cherish and more
Than I ever will or have done before.
There are complications to endure
Issues to sift and sort
Movements to make, risks to take
And furniture to be bought.

Fuckn bring it.

I have made an ode to be the man
She has needed, never to forget
To share a life one hundred percent
And bring home the milk and bread.