As my Precious sits on my desk,
shedding and watching with interest.

I take a drink from my cup.
A hair sticks to my tongue..eew yuk.

She is pleased with herself and wags,
her tail, hair flies off like flags.

They are small, black and everywhere.
Making patterns on all of the chairs.

Little drifting smiles of hair,
residing on my clothes without care.

This much hair from a small Chihuahua,
it's not possible, no not at all.

It's not as if she's going bald.
But then, Kojack, she could be called.

Oh look!  You have some hair that she's shared.
I'll take care of that, you wait right there.

I'll just run and get my  trusty lint roller.
Better yet!   I'll get my leaf blower.

rarely do you wake up with your father in pain, stomach... so what the hell happened you ask? ate some sausage, best-before-date 20.1.2017... no wonder! but it was frozen and recently defrosted! so you just tuck into that **** raw? yeah yeah, should have poached it. like hell you should have! so he runs me an errand, can you make me rosół? no problem paps. i'll give you the money, run me this errand. you taken any no spa pills? yes yes, well thank **** for that.

ugh, soups of england, soups in england,
what an ugly sight,
   no soup pasta in them,
  and all of them look like mud holes,
or shambos (the pits of **** in rural areas) -
can we get some clarity in them, please?!
and this one is a classic,
its a clear chicken soup,
  contested between both jews and poles,
from times immemorial...
you get a chicken, cut off the *******
to use for an idea for tomorrow,
and then you chuck the remaining corpus
into water, pour water to the brim of the ***,
throw in a bay leaf, peppercorns,
five allspice meteor,
       and a few teaspoons of all-purpose
seasoning: namely / mainly salt...
          then you get some carrots,
garlic, a whole onion, leeks,
     celery, a parsnip, and fresh parsley,
and then you cook slowly,
  until all the fat runs off the chicken,
   and a bit like pouring a pint of guinness,
you wait for at least two hours,
until the almost brine water,
   turns into a golden colour,
       but that's it!
  then you boil some angel hair pasta,
and there you go: a clear chicken soup -
dubbed the medicine soup,
  it's actually now even called a soup,
  it's actually called by its name as a separate
category within the category of soup,
i'll try to write you the name without
the native diacritical markings...
  rosół = and this is by best approximate:
   ~ρ-sew
         (rho-sew) - yes, that verb participle of
the act of sewing - as: prompt (enforced
labour: sew! sew!) -
          no, sowing as in rho-sow doesn't cut it...
like that prolonged sound of disgust
with eww / eew... however you write
oh and ooh...
           can't think of an easier chicken soup
recipe, but *******, it's tasty...
  and heavens above: it's not a typical english
soup of just plain dumb creamy:
creamy tomato, creamy mushroom, creamy this,
creamy that, **** it, let's just skip
the entree, eat the main, and get stuck into
the choc cake and custard...
   when i eat a soup, i want to see the bottom
of the bowl...
the garlic and onion are crucial,
  and yes, you plop the onion in a whole,
like all the other veg (obviously cut up slightly)...
   nothing simpler, but you need to slowly
cook the **** thing until you get this
diluted amber colour...
   and you definitely need a lot of fresh parsley,
and angel hair pasta...
           fine spaghetti, after all,
  it's not a chinese noodle soup...
              and before going to bed i asked him:
any better? yes, better...
    so we finished watching the nail-biting
poland vs. montenegro game... 2 nil up,
2 - 2, and then magic in the space of 10 minutes,
almost feels like 1974: 4 - 2.
so i asks him one last time:
   can you drink a glass of cognac with that
medication? no answer, a grunt...
       you know, the scots call ms. amber the maiden
of the bowels... have a warm glass of
cognac, to burn that bug out...
and he goes: did you know that eating
a polish sausage can **** you?
  yeah, it's called a *kiełbasa jad (tenacious d -
opening track:
  etymological explanation -
   kieł- i.e. canine, -basa [baza] i.e. base -
   based on canines - tearing into it,
carnivorous implication, my bet) -
      so he says:
  yeah, you leave the sausage in a warm place,
esp. in sunshine, and it turns into
a venomous snake, can **** you,
   starts fermenting a venom akin
                                            to an asp...
so i reply: well, next time stop being so
****** greedy, and if you're in the mood,
at least poach the **** thing!
he might not be drinking the prescribed
cognac... (insert snigger):
   but sure as **** i'm drinking the whiskey.

After reading/listening to Rochelle D'Silva's "There Will Come A Time"

I woke up to a dream,
which we call reality,
eyes wide open, senses intact,
But who can really differentiate?

I opened my wisecracking eyes
to a photograph of father
grinning so wide, I mistook him
for an uncle I thought I’d forgot.

Prints of the past are like
yesterday’s prints of stale newspapers,
you don’t hold onto newspapers for the news
you hold on them to clean car windshields
and protect shelves from grime,
for chat-pati namkeen and peanut containers,
and then you thrown them away,
which probably get recycled;
but the prints of the past stick, no?

You cringe at the things you said
to the right person at the wrong time and in the wrong place
or five other permutations of the three.
You close your eyes hard
and frown while remembering the times
that you slipped your tongue mispronouncing
words which are in your second language,
or said things that you thought were funny,
but no one laughed.

Prints of the past are like laptop kept on for days,
just because you’d opened some tabs days ago,
contents of which might be unnecessary now,
but your mind’s stubborn to read them all.

*

Poets love the past,
it’s the foundation for words,
pain and agony, and also love,
probably forgotten in those browser tabs.

Without eyes looking out far or behind
without a past and a future,
we might feel hemmed between two walls
closing towards each other at the speed
of retracing your steps back towards
where you’re now, in the present.
What now?

When prints of the past and e-zines of the future
come to seize the end or even the journey for that matter,
when you find yourself extricated from the
vicious cycles of love and lust and and pain and hope,
when any ideas or thoughts seize to entice you,
you resort to memories that don’t make you shiver,
a delicious rub against a sack cloth to relieve an itch.

The crash of the milk bottle racks on early morning errands,
the shutting down of back doors of the bread vans,
or something out of time, something that is funny
and embarrassing that you can’t broach about it.

How seeing someone snorting back the mucus and then gulping it,
makes you nauseous but when you have cold,
you do it yourself, because the handkerchief is far,
and you'd rather not use your hand, "Eew!"

Or memories of an old friend, which is a song
by Angus and Julia stones, but also a song
of blissful senility, it’s been so long,
that you don’t remember her face,
but you still remember what it felt like
to play outside, hand in hand, panting.

Home is where the heart is, heart is remembering.

Or instead, you look at things with a blank slate,
where there’s nothing to left to think about,
you shut your eyes, get lost, probably get found.
By someone on the roadside, staring at you with concern,
perhaps that person is you.

Repeat the vicious cycle of cob webs -
love and lust and pain and agony, hope and thought,
intermittently, and then find words to write about it,
before you can’t anymore, again.

drive through me leave me bare, abandon me poor

thrive not, heart don't be full
more dis-ease please, get me more out of my essence, moo
me out of my God Given Throne fool,
i belong in the zoo.
show me how bad you can beat me past what I threw
five pieces of glass, my crew
i broke my own heart because i can't stand myself, whew!

i'm now reflecting how best i like my heart, i drool
five pieces of my heart needing some glue.

hive oozing honey stained with poo
i don't know how to nurture my worth so i demand that from you
an impossible feat, i like you prefer a toxic hue.

live deep down, i want more ease and juiciness... but ooh,
that's too much work, i want it on a silver platter, boo!
jive to my disdain you fool,
remind me of my inadequacies like it's in, new
tell me everything wrong with me like i always knew
may my most authentic self never see the view,
die, noone wants to know you, eew!

Glances are all I get.
Glances are how I speak to you.
Do you get it?

A glance. one.

One look to ask a million questions.
"Do you know I like you?"
"Do you care?"
"How do you like my hair, curly or straight?"
"Do you think I'm ugly?"
"Do you think I'm pretty?"
"How long are you going to make me wait?"

All in a glance, just one.

I pass you in the halls and when I open my mouth to speak my brain stalls, so I just look. So I turn back around and pretend like I need my theory book, so I can ask you something, but I catch your eyes and again, I'm shook.

And I'm stuck with a glance. Just one.

"Do you have a girl?"
"What kinds of things do you like?"
"Did I rub you the wrong way?"
"Are you not interested?"
"If so, then what's you're type, who is she?"
"...Why are you doing this to me?"

I just need you to read my mind so, I can have peace of mind, and not have to wonder what if. The worst you could say is no. But its still not what I'm trying to hear. Because I don't want to see you in a year and wonder....What if.

So I'll wait for Monday, and then from Monday to Thursday, and from Thursday to Friday, and from Friday to Monday, and from 9:00 to 4:00.

So this time I'll speak up
But I hope you don't creep up
And catch me off guard
And leave me with more questions
And another glance.

Just one.

"How was your day?"
"Can I meet you at ten?"
"Where do you want to eat?"
" Can we go back to your place?"
"What's your Netflix password?"
"What do you want to watch?"
"Eew, you like this show?"
"You know I'm not paying attention, right?"
"You know I'm attracted to you, right."
"Kiss me again."
"**** me."

Just read my mind and make this easier.

Mary had a little lamb
She loved to run her fingers through its hair
Ooh, so smooth she would coo
Until the day it pooed in her shoe
Eew, lamb stew

It is not my druther
to blow my brother
tongue my sister
or **** my grandmother.
These things I eschew, eew
I wouldn’t do.

Stomping on newborn puppies
swallowing my son’s guppies
skull hatcheting smiling babies
or impaling my testicles on a spike
are things I do not like.

Pushing elderly in wheelchairs
crashing down the stairs
beating quadriplegics with chairs
or plucking my ***** hairs
are not among my cares.

Necrophilia in a porta *****
fails to excite my body.
And I wouldn’t dump scalding soup
on my neighbor’s Cub Scout troop.
But climbing a tree to stoop
a gushing **** on a neo **** group
well, that’s a whoop!

Acting a life not being myself
has retired to the dusty shelf.
Suffering as a lost fake
is on a permanent break.
Prolonging life on meds
******* and ******* in bed
I would truly dread.
Slow motion into a wood chipper
with no emotion would be way hipper!

Jeffrey Schmitz 1/4/20

.subtitled: soliloqui looking for a pretty ******...

the freeing voice - any voice for that matter -
something has been completed -
a year's worth of credit...
   / invested in bone churning...
crrrrr'ah'imes of crunch...
              point for point...
       "they" tell you... you're a loser still
living with your parents...
lucky for me i've been feeling wanted
for the past three months...
working on the garden...
there's a new shed... there's a fence...
all the bothersome roots have been dug...
"loser" and - a man is supposed to
hate his parents... at some point...
well me the forest and the slump...
tourist attraction... flatmates: sitcom coming...
a tent in trafalgar sq. -
pigeon **** for luck: luckier if i had
a bowler hat and an irritating suit of formality...
but, what, other, options?
to abhor one's mother and father:
chances are: sometimes to be wedded
to the in-laws...
                     and i was thinking that coming
from under the iron curtain:
from behind the berlin wall...
    from a former satellite state....
    i wouldn't be hearing this postmodern spin on
communism...
     it works: it works i'm promised!
it works... but there's no spine of a metallurgical
industry... no sweaters knitted in ireland...
no shavers manufactured in holland...
   the germans "lost" the war...
     somehow they still managed to pay
the reperations to the hebs...
             the germans "lost" the war...
but they still make the cars...
                   the germans "lost" the war...
but kaiser came up with...
the new currency... and there were some:
slightly distrustful of eew-oh-rrrrrras...
          there's so much conversation
above the drowning line of the invisible...
haven't dated since aged 21...
                 since 2007...
              the chance brothel entry...
the chance "one night stand" -
   confused thai surprise from a park bench
****** in the garden and walked home -
totem for proof...
         easily interrupted music:
or rather - music with punctuation...
like almost punk... but: not really...
             what a mighty project: brexit with
the pound in the wallets...
can you imagine a brexit with buying and selling
in euros? ha... 3 years...
ol' lizzie on the guillotine of currency...
bland currency...
              3 years of brexit followed up by
a year and 3 months of corona carano
        cuckoo-ra curune curini kuru kuru
chicken: cuban - coup d'état - corono - corone -
core: and... the bread is 'ere...
the circuses are gone... and so is the jihad...
- whatever happened to rival schools:
united by fate - nothing of what never happened...
to the chime of bell and the vibrating
uvula gong -
        
in summa inanitate versatur:
perhaps... perhaps i should have stressed:
looking for the geometry of a paragraph:
not a square... a rhombus...
          / here devolves........................
any and all.........................................
the draft of - and for.........................
all manner.................... of..................
"pressing"............... impetus: via......
impetus.... salvaged... via some.......
variant of darwinism........................
a history... on the basis of only.........
frequenting.... etymology.................
for... "sources" - sourced materials...
citations! ..............................................
by all means: anything......................
written... for the medium of.............
journalism.......................................­....
is not a dickens - an armchair..........
a sunny... afternooon.........................
............... more.....................................
a commuter's hour on the tube........
tum.... tum autem..............................
..... tum./
                           at one time... at yet
another...

    idem idem etc. etc. (again) -
major major - drifter from catnip 23...

the leisure of writing... once upon a time
a brothers grimm' invested themselves in:
the leisure of reading...
no oration is a leisure too...
tongue does the work of feet... and hands...
imitation octopus: solid ink out
of a fear...
     lack of friction: therefore...
arachnaphobia and: scuttle! scuttle!
and all those limbs you could almost break...
but not hear the sound...

    yes... writing can be... this blank canvas
is... my hands and fingers extended...
i admit no clenched fist...
no knuckle ditto heads...
                      a yes... and a no... a maybe...
a kiss that sounds like
slurping spaghetti...
                  coming from the 19th century...

yes: the next time i feel bad about
doing a no. 1, 2 and 3... the 3 being the genocide
into the whrilpool just below the throne of
thrones... i'll remember...
in the 19th century?
   ******* was as much taboo as jerking off:
big ******* hands:
no wonder there's "some" ***** envy...
and those camera angles...
a hand the size of being able to hold a basketball
all on its own...

which is a shame... what hands can...
and can't: guillotine the phallus and bowl...
with a talking head from the grave...
the torso and limbs too:
holding the spectacle of eyes rolled back...
bertrand de born...
                gilles de rais... not included...
come to think of it...

     eos eventus, qui acciderunt...
if that can be said: of what happened...
and it is hardly believable...
any time between the orthodoxy of darwinism:
ahem... "history" and geology...
and the ping-pong of the stars...
         yes... but what of the mythology:
come 100 years from now:
no one will believe what: apparently...
never took place...
                  or that it did...
                 the currency of inflation:
over-inflation of details...
a drowning man will grap the edges
of a razor... perhaps now: science...
and facts... is the necessary razor edge
for the docile and: the adventure of drowning...

- mind you: it's worth confusing...
albrecht dürer with gustav doré...
   even if these two men didn't pass on children
and grandchildren - genetics -
they did pass... something...
seeing how evolved - almost indistinguishable
the two are... i.e. if the former had the technological
access of the latter...
well...

no... i'm pretty sure...
i couldn't have had this sort of conversation with
anyone... solo project:
and yes... impromptu...
              a painting it is not...
some minor details: better kept as omissions...
soliloqui looking for a pretty ******...
     now that is raising the stakes;
yawn... the end.