As a toddler at church daycare
upon a Roman Catholic lap in an armchair
the savage Father McManus
did ravage in a ****** slather Stan’s ****.
This grunge sacrament
the plunge of Stan’s excrement
damaged his ******, twisted & bent.
His colon sustained a permanent indent.
Thereafter whenever he defecated was ghastly torment.
He had no control. **** gushed in a torrent
drowning his nuts & tinky
cursed, the size of a pinky.
Growth stunted and bully hunted, stinky & hyper
for the rest of his short life, this dinky boy wore a diaper.
In the early dark he would awaken to his own scream.
Having creamed a fantastic dream
a shivering nun quivering her ***** for fun - so obscene
but realized he had ****** his ****
cooling in his diaper, a messy gloop.

Souls that travel toward the same light
sometimes collide in the night.
To share a dream only in sight
may one day manifest in day bright.
All that you have thought
is exactly what you brought.
So open your heart to still the thought
that where you stand is what you sought.

Jeffrey Schmitz 1/8/20

It is not my druther
to blow my brother
tongue my sister
or **** my grandmother.
These things I eschew, eew
I wouldn’t do.

Stomping on newborn puppies
swallowing my son’s guppies
skull hatcheting smiling babies
or impaling my testicles on a spike
are things I do not like.

Pushing elderly in wheelchairs
crashing down the stairs
beating quadriplegics with chairs
or plucking my ***** hairs
are not among my cares.

Necrophilia in a porta *****
fails to excite my body.
And I wouldn’t dump scalding soup
on my neighbor’s Cub Scout troop.
But climbing a tree to stoop
a gushing **** on a neo **** group
well, that’s a whoop!

Acting a life not being myself
has retired to the dusty shelf.
Suffering as a lost fake
is on a permanent break.
Prolonging life on meds
******* and ******* in bed
I would truly dread.
Slow motion into a wood chipper
with no emotion would be way hipper!

Jeffrey Schmitz 1/4/20

Playfully spreading my **** cheeks apart
gracefully heading, my **** shrieks a ****
blasting two ***-**** dwelling fleas
with great ease in a methane breeze
as one looks at the other and decrees
“that was no sneeze!
Yo, those come in threes
behold, he is about to squeeze!”
Once again the vapors did sneak
a squirting of fudge - a smidge did leak
hurtling my wee friends in a brown streak.

I walked up my tower to the shower
with sphincter propulsion power
to rid myself of this repulsion, so sour.
Water and soap I did slather
to build a foaming bubbly lather
into which I gurgled more **** blather
to rinse, helping those suds scatter.

No matter what your class
you enjoy being crass
with your ***
when you pass
that gas.

Jeffrey Schmitz 1/4/20

Rise and Fall

In flows one breath
out it blows, done, its own death.
There never was, nor will be, one identical.
Its circumstances are a dance of chance most equivocal;
vary the person, a different version
second by minute - their age, a change of stage
and even the air from where, here or there,
I do declare you can’t compare.
They all became but no two are the same.
In flows one breath
out it blows, done, its own death.

Jeffrey Schmitz 11/23/19

Living is breathing.
Smoking is hating
vaping is ****** -
ugly bungs
plugging innocent lungs.
Charbroil, you wheezing gargoyle.
To spoil your breath
is seeking death.
Breathing God pure in & out
is what it’s all about.

Jeffrey Schmitz 10/10/19

Throughout most of my life
I have self-imposed strife
like a cold suicidal knife
my bogeyman - Self-Centered Fear.
Always severe, I ask why does he appear
year after year with a different spear?
Although I could veer to a new frontier
maybe it is he, whom I revere?
With creative lies
he endlessly defies
which I should despise
but one may surmise
all this time, my being he electrifies.
Surprise, surprise:
One of three,
he is me!

Jeffrey Schmitz 12/10/19