i lie in bed,

half asleep,

jolted by such sorrow,
a cryptic pain.


sadly, this pain is the most familiar,

it cannot be relieved with a
xanax, band-aid or advil.



i can't keep this in the closet,

after all,

                that is what led to the demise of you and i,

our enchantment was greater than any fairy tale,

i had ever read, seen or imagined. &

           i had background with love stories.

our crossroads was where dreams come true.



please lead me to the path where,

the nightmare ends.
i have yet to find that boulevard,

i keep on lugging my soul,

which has been crushed, mutilated and torn

to tiny ribbons of shattered love.

searching tirelessly for the boutique......



you know,

the one that warmly greeted me that,

hallowed 4th day.


it's against my nature to,

be held back by anything at all,



the following requires a beacon emitting passion, desire & all my heart;
      †- a severe oversight was made that doomful moment.
      †- a divine being would

                                     never

            mutilate matrimony amid two enamored inhabitants of his creation.
      †- if 1&   2. are false i never want to be a devotee to H.I.M.


to ü- he hoped you'd observe
the emotion he held in his loyal

framework. ü were absolutely
the jackpot to his existence,

**his breath of life.

I watch the antlers of the trees
Break off piece by piece
I watch the flowers bold and green
Rust into dead and lifeless things
Just another summer day in winter
Just another winter day in summer
I see the dragonflies hover in the breeze
They compete with the spiders’ careful weave
All the squirrels are guarding their meat
The birds take the leftovers with ease
Just another doomful day in paradise
Just another fruitful day of doom
I watch the sky, the clouds are mean
But at least they tell me some things
I watch the streets, ***** and clean
They burn a hole inside of me
Just another summer day in winter
Just another winter day in summer

They sit around swapping
lies to spread to the masses
with their agenda sounding whole
and their actions proving doomful.

Failure lead by
atrocity after atrocity,
they hide their mistakes
with the lies they spread.
They are flawed
and can’t be contained
unless it’s all wiped
out and life
starts anew

leaving the rest with some
more fat to chew
maybe how it should've been
in the first place.

at night
pitch black
king size sheets
her cold, clean white skin
and long apricot hair
lay sprawled against
his hot, smooth dirt skin
and military hair.
she runs her hand
up and down his arm
reflecting on their perfect day.
he hums that tune,
a hand running through her hair
and the other down her back,
she closes her eyes and hugs him tight
as she listens to his heart beat.
du-du-du-du-du-dudududududududu
it will never be in sync with her
thump....thump....thump...
she says
"your heart always beats so fast, even when you sleep,"
"it means I'll die early"
"don't say that"
"just the facts"
she holds him
listening to the doomful du-du-du-du-du-du-du
the heart that's revving up
to burst from his chest-
he wraps his arms around her tight
and falls asleep
she wonders if
he fears death
if he wishes things had been different
she wonders about his younger years
she wonders what goes on in his head
she wonders about all the things he does and says
and wonders
perhaps
if he has given up.

I had a heartbreak bad as hell
That left me under doomful spell
The pain I nursed with anodyne
Cleansed my soul as if soaked in brine
Since then I am a lot more lost
Whoever knew that love had cost
It winded me and broke my wing
After passed the dawn of spring

When he packed his bags and left
My spirit hollow and bereft
His patience snapped, it did not bend
And therein passion came to end
My spirit doth withstand the gale
Swept over me and sent from hell
Depression's spectre raid the nest
Inside my Heart, which laid to rest