My heart is pumping
So fast you can visually see my chest thumping
The only sound I hear is a heart beat
Lately I haven't been able to eat
Uncontrollable shaking
Rude awakenings
Uncomfortable thoughts
Distraughts
Staying up late caused by PTSD
I am trying to get better, can’t you see?
I try to fight the battles that go off in my head
Late at night, before I go to bed
I try to keep moving forward and never look back
Wait, I feel like I’m having a heart attack

double ring
triple ring
the bull's eye's
happiness i'm seeking

focused in only joy and ecstasy
full bliss and sanctity
craving for my utopia
caving to be happy

depressive thoughts
with anxious distraughts
just a little under the influence
and an escape is all i've ever sought

is being happy
that much of a mystery
is it too much to ask for
to be free

double ring
triple ring
the bull's eye's
foolin' us into losing

*-djs

As He And I take a dip into each others solar eclipse  
He sips from my faucet that drips
and not the one located between my thick thighs and hips
but from the truth that flows from the softness of my lips.
In that moment he Indulged in Truth's kiss.
As he was overcamed by a state of bliss.
Thats when He knew That God must Exist.
Now to him I say this.......
"Lets Go beyond Us
As I allow you Undress my Conscious
Make love to my thoughts
As you diminish my distraughts
Lick my intelligence to taste the saccharine nectar of my Essence
As I give you this mental *******
You will be headed in the right direction
And there will be no need for a ****** for our protection
Just dive into my purely unadulterated love and affection
Make your understanding stand at attention
Stick your knowledge in my head's dimension.
Giving me all its been missing
as I not only hear but Inventively listen.
Love me good and so deep
That upon me your heart begins to seap
And My my eyes begin to weap
Make my cerebellum ****** until it reaches its peak.
Keep going deeper until you hear all the words I dont speak.
Have you found the Subtance in which you seek?

See into the depths of my soul until you see A light of shimmering glittering Gold.
Touch my psyche with a gentle caress.
Until you uncover the glory of my nakedness.

now its spiritual fire burning with Red hot flames from within inscreasing my soul's desire.

I let him see the quintessential part of me that in just a short time I had courageously bared.
And He allowed me to breathe in the fresh air from his atmosphere
As I tasted his words like freshly cut herbs
And He explored all my bountiful roads to learn all my turns and curves
As he Disect my unwritten literature to understand my creative verbs.
We fly beyond the clouds like 2 lovebirds.
I have become the many pages of his diary
As he shares his most private moments between him and me so secretly.
I feel like my my world is being pulled into his force of gravity.

And yet the question I ask is,"Is he into me?"
But I can already answer that by his his energy.
While he's staring into my eyes endlessly.
My universe has been shaken by the waves of his charismatic frequency.
As we are luxuriating in our Unfiltered Raw level of Intimacy.

Placing words into what you feel
Cause the layers of your core to peel
Whether it's  Anger that distraughts  you
or Confusion that betrays you
It's Anxiety that simmers within
The good angel seems to never win
It's the Sadness that overwhelms for no reason
and Loneliness seems to be it's closest cousin
Sometimes all of these things that are unseen
Seep out of the pores altogether, making it Mean
A scene never meant to be seen
The only Context that gives it most Meaning
Is putting the text on paper, so Rich, so Gleaming
It does its part to soothe the Heart
and transforms it intrinsically into Art.
It takes your inner bag of ****
and becomes the Number One Smash Hit.
Or you can keep it to yourself in private
To make your journal utterly vibrant
No way is Right, no way is Wrong
As long as you make it sing like a Song.

She stomps, She cries,
She throws things.
She curses and pulls your hair.

She's dying, She's lying,
She's loosing,
She's broken beyond repair.

She wails, She screams,
She torments you.
On your ankles a ball and chain.

She frustrates, She enrages,
She degrades you.
Like she's the only one with a brain.

She contorts, She distraughts,
She impairs you.
In this vile and twisted plot.

You resent, You dislike,
You don't need her.
She's everything that you're not.

You're selfless, You're graceful,
You're lovely,
You're more valuable than you think.

So next time there's another hole in her lifeboat,
Perhaps you should let her sink.