I am what I am
So please accept me ma'am
Remember! My name is Sam
Who likes jam
And who drove a Dodge Ram
On a dam
When there was no traffic jam
Today is Tuesday, Oct. 7, the 280th day of 2014 with 85 to follow.
The moon is waxing. Morning stars are Jupiter, Uranus and Venus. Evening stars are Mars, Mercury, Neptune and Saturn.
A thought for the day:
“Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.”
Lao Tzu
Quotes for the day:
“Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.”
Alan Watts
"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen."
Michael Jordan
"Men are not flattered by being shown that there has been a difference of purpose between the Almighty and them."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Poetry
Excelsior
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The shades of night were falling fast,
As through an Alpine village passed
A youth, who bore, 'mid snow and ice,
A banner with the strange device,
Excelsior!
His brow was sad; his eye beneath,
Flashed like a falchion from its sheath,
And like a silver clarion rung
The accents of that unknown tongue,
Excelsior!
In happy homes he saw the light
Of household fires gleam warm and bright;
Above, the spectral glaciers shone,
And from his lips escaped a groan,
Excelsior!
"Try not the Pass!" the old man said:
"Dark lowers the tempest overhead,
The roaring torrent is deep and wide!
And loud that clarion voice replied,
Excelsior!
"Oh stay," the maiden said, "and rest
Thy weary head upon this breast!"
A tear stood in his bright blue eye,
But still he answered, with a sigh,
Excelsior!
"Beware the pine-tree's withered branch!
Beware the awful avalanche!"
This was the peasant's last Good-night,
A voice replied, far up the height,
Excelsior!
At break of day, as heavenward
The pious monks of Saint Bernard
Uttered the oft-repeated prayer,
A voice cried through the startled air,
Excelsior!
A traveller, by the faithful hound,
Half-buried in the snow was found,
Still grasping in his hand of ice
That banner with the strange device,
Excelsior!
There in the twilight cold and gray,
Lifeless, but beautiful, he lay,
And from the sky, serene and far,
A voice fell, like a falling star,
Excelsior!
Health and Beauty Tip
Choosing Eyeliner
Make sure the color of your eyeliner complements your eyes. Dark brown eyes benefit from plum shades. If you have lighter eyes, try navy and charcoal. Brown eyeliner works well no matter what color your eyes are!
JOKES
Taxidermist
This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?"
"No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"
No Ears
There was this man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation of both of his ears. As a result of this "unusual" handicap, he was very self-conscious about his having no ears.
Because of the accident, he received a large sum of money from the insurance company. It was always his dream to own his own business, so he decided with all this money he had, he now had the means to own a business. So he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business.
He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them.
The first interview went really well. He really liked this guy. His last question for this first candidate was "Do you notice anything unusual about me?" The guy said, "Now that you mention it, you have no ears." The man got really ups! et and threw the guy out.
The second interview went even better than the first. This candidate was much better than the first. Again, to conclude the interview, the man asked the same question again, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
The guy also noticed, "Yes, you have no ears." The man was really upset again, and threw this second candidate out.
Then he had the third interview. The third candidate was even better than the second, the best out of all of them. Almost certain that he wanted to hire this guy, the man once again asked, "Do you notice anything unusual about me?"
The guy replied "Yeah, I bet you are wearing contact lenses."
Surprised, the man then asked, "Wow! That's quite perceptive of you! How could you tell?"
The guy burst out laughing and said you can't wear glasses if you don't have any ears!
The birds and the bees
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong.
"Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grownups don't really have ***, I've got nothing left to believe in!"
HAVE A VERY NICE TUESDAY!
