As the Nightingale sings...
His sweet song of happiness
Driven by bountiful liberation
Relieved from timeless crappiness
Fluttering, making a joyful noise
Trials to deprive him of craftiness
Surely fails at inflicting such harm
He sings gleefully, free of nastiness.


As the Nightingale sings...
His wrenching song of fear
Realizing his time can easily fall
At any moment danger may appear
Songs of melodic screechy whistles
Alerting of predators lurking clear
He's hurt, used to frequent viewing
His kin die, for each he sheds a tear.


As the Nightingale sings...
His sensual song of passion
Strong vocals of desired courtship
Refusing to share his ration
With many rivals upon his branch
Alluring females with his attraction
Mating rituals commencing in love
His plumage thrives in new fashion.


As the Nightingale sings...
His saddened song of sorrow
Wishing for better times to come
Hoping to make it to the morrow
Living below a abundant food chain
With a short lifespan to borrow
Singing til his last breath is breathed
Eloped to heaven, a angel he follows.

© Michael P. Smith

To think back to the glory days is all that's left to do.
To curl up in a ball of stress and remember what's left of you, the day I found you calling me I was to late to save,
the loss of being late  will haunt me to my grave..
The look of distance in the death that's when I think I knew... It's time to grasp a life alone and finally get a clue,
You tought me much and loved me like no other.. You were my dad I had no mother.
So now I see a bit of happiness although I'm filled with doubt and crappiness I bite my tounge and close my eyes and see a life of hope,
just to realize I'm finally living hanging from this rope. R.I.P

This year was a really good one
and I have God to thank for that

I learned to focus on the process
and not on the result
to really be honest
and to never insult

I learned that people change
and feelings range
from full
to null

I learned to place my happiness
in the One and only who will never let me down
To take life's crappiness
with a smile rather than a frown

To work hard
and pray for the best
To take in regard,
with how much I'm blessed

To love myself
and my quirkiness,
To not place feelings on the shelf
for other's cleanliness

To be confident
about all of me
And to compliment
things I liked to see

To treat things
as I want them to be,
and so they shall be
within my conformity

To improve
with every minute
and to move
forward with no limit

To take each day
as it comes
rather than sway
on possibilities, tons

To love,
and to love,
and to be.

Nothing

Nothing is too hard to explain.
It’s emptiness, but not really.
It’s like the feeling is there,
But the feeling of the feeling has been ****** out?
I know I’m happy when my boyfriend is smiling at me,
Like I’m the only person worth living for,
But I don’t feel happy.
I feel…
Nothing.

Why is my most important feeling Nothing?
And why is it so hard to explain?
This is the worst feeling I’ve ever had,
And it’s unexplainable because it’s Nothing.
I’m not feeling hungry or tired,
Or warm or cold.
I feel…
Nothing.

It’s different every time,
And it doesn’t happen often.
All I know is that I’m set off,
And then when I wake up the next day,
I’m just a big empty void.
Like looking through a camera lense, not actually in the moment.
I feel…
Nothing.

Sometimes it takes a nasty turn.
Like last time.
I was mad at myself for not feeling.
For not crying every night from my emotional pain.
Because he died, and I messed up, and I wasn’t there
So I made myself feel pain, but when I don’t
I feel…
Nothing.

But sometimes it is what it is.
It’s Nothing.
It’s like a break from all the anger, all the pain, all the crappiness I feel.
I just feel empty, like I’m waiting to be turned back on.
I’m stuck on sleep mode, like I’m not on, but I’m not off either.
And everything slowly turns on, everything is updated but still,
I feel…
Nothing.

Sometimes it lasts longer.
More than two months or just a few days.
Taking forever for everything to fully come back.
And I get angry thoughts the longer it lasts,
But when I go to yell out my frustration,
The feeling gets ****** out.
I feel…
Nothing.

Nothing is too hard to explain.
And when your just feeling Nothing, and people keep asking what’s wrong,
You can’t explain it right, because all you’re feeling is Nothing.
So they honestly think nothing is wrong.
And they technically are right,
They just don’t know.
I feel…
Nothing.

I’m feeling…
Nothing.

Why cant i do the things i want? I got no ***** to put myself out there at all, it seems like i dont care but honestly its the only thing thats on my mind. Why cant i ******* find the courage to spit out the words and all my feelings. This self hatred is exceeding the acceptable boundaries. I ******* hate myself some times. I think the only way to unwind is through a blunt. But guess what, i smoke too much and my anxiety runs a ******* muck. I need to hit the mats.  I feel its the only way i can truly relax. I need to smoke and roll, thats just seems like its my only vice. But the untold place of my true happiness with through the touch of a woman. It seems like kind of an odd omen, cause i dont when and how to talk to em. When i think too much about it my anger boils up and theres no way around it. My dreams are foiled cause some how my subconscious is toiled in not letting myself find happiness. Its like i only seem to be comfortable when im stuck and smothered in some crappiness. But got **** its so hard to live with myself sometimes. Im emotionally worn out. All i can do is just cry

who is gonna save me,
when my tears drown
me with emotions.

who is gonna save me,
when my emotions, turn into
the oceans with no motions.

who's gonna save me  
when the light is brighter then a lighter

who's gonna save me when the darkness
traps me and causes me to snap.


who's gonna save me when happiness turns to crappiness.

who's gonna save me when my sadness turns into illness.

who's gonna save me when my happiness turn into bitterness.