The thing that kills me most
Shattering me from within
Is not the absence of your shield
But this abrupt awareness
Of the awful emptiness
That has now settled into the place
Which hope has just vacated.
I ride out into the colloseum
Battle-clad in armour
Club swinging, sword at the ready
A quiver full of arrows
Just to defend you.
But I will fall at the very first shot
This armour I call my skin
Will be the death of me.
Because the truth is
You were my armour
You were my shield
And then I realised you never were.

From the colloseum of
vanity

His opaque desecrated
Light

Eluded her sanity

Locked onto venom lips

The ghost from his mouth

Burnt a hole in her soul

And then It swallowed them whole

the idea is not to be misunderstood; it's to not be understood; and for that sort of power pendulum to actually exist, philosophy must begin to respect poetry (beginning with heidegger's appreciation of it), and not shame it, as some otoise "benevolence".

the story is, that the europeans inherited numbers from
the hindus, or the arabs...
        well... the romans?
       they had
I   V   X
L  C   D
M                               7 digits... again, that hydra in
                 the book of revelations...
            imagine!          *letters that had dual functions!
             that you could actually do mathematics with it!
architecture!   the ******* colloseum! erected with such "crude"
     instruments!

all i have to say: **** the hindu / arab argument,
   as to how modern numbers were derived...
             i'm going to use greek and the latin alphabet to
                    excavate our modern numbers, beginning with:
σ and 6
                  (the genesis)...
         O, squashed:                0
                           B                            -         8
   I                              -                    1
           ­                      Σ (ω)       -                   3
               ρ (mirror) -                       9

(a thought, while smoking a cigarette):
   the idea of a fourth dimension?
     well... the concept of a flat earth really helps...
  i.e. the acronym n.e.w.s. (north, east, west, south) -
         sure... the 3D   fudge of an image does help to place
a postage-stamp on the argument...
         but you're not going to exactly read a map
                with the performing-monkey antics shouting:
the earth isn't flat! the earth isn't flat!
         a 3D conceptualißation of your "dasein"
    will not get your from a     to        b....
                you won't be an explorer... with a 3D earth...
you'll just have an image, rather than a competence to read a map...
you'll become a, **** astronaut!

where did i derive this from, where did this mánā come from?
   the problem with          4...
              what letter? what letter?       tetragrammaton's H?
     what is pythagorean, standing like a stork, i.e. on one leg?

what has been covered?     1, 0, 9, 8, 6, 3...
     ****... 4 to go...            
                                      4, 5, 2, 7....
   hmm...
                                                          ­ζ = 2,
                   x = 4?               i'm sure someone might have figured out:
    4 points of origin, converging... into a triangle, standing on 1 leg...
                   there is no figura similis...
       that's why i threw in jewish clues...
                              i have to admit... conjuring 5, and 7 is going
to be hard...
             i can stretch conjuring 5 as S and Z being siamese ****-buddies...
                            7?      well... there's one option,
    gamma (Γ) walking through a mirror... meaning it's chiral, i.e.
   non-superimposable, i.e. it's an enantiomer...
       perhaps even L...                     rotating anti-clockwise,
   and then getting its stump broken, and then bent.

       so that's that...         numbers derived from existing letters...
  perhaps akin to what was "lazy" in the roman schools...
             as one mathematics teacher expressed:
      you wouldn't be able to do newtonian calculus using roman "numbers"...
but sure as ****, you could ask architects to build you
   grand monumets / buildings...
           i swear modern architects should only use roman numerals...
perhaps we'd see less cubism in modern architecture.

Flushing Meadows 91
Jimbo had a last 4 run
Out of tune in the earlier open
Had a wrist surgery done

Approaching his 39th birthday
A few days away
Started his night which went into day
Patrick McEnroe at the other end holding sway

Two sets to love
Three games to love
Love 40
Down in all 3 parameters
Sets Games and Points
A full house crowd
Gently dispersed
Not wanting to see the Legend once fierce
Now in reverse

I got him and the match
Patrick thought but as he said
With Jimbo you never can tell
Till you shake hands at the net
Exactly what happened next
Jimmy turned the match
Third set with his lead diminishing
Jimmy said famously
See you in the 5th
Met him as promised
Shook hands at the net
2 am the next
Winning the match

Many Greats who'd left the stands
Embarrassed to see him play the losers hand
Decided the result before hand
Papers next day had a surprise in hand

They want more drama
Iam gonna give it to them
The Jimmy Connors scream
Tells us that we too can dream

Next on the other side
Michael Schapers
Reached a ranking of 25
Now a qualifier
Had a bad year earlier
Hence put thru the grinder
It was vintage Jimbo
3 sets in the row
Dutchman was a no show

Karel Novacek
The no 1 Czech
Seeded 10 was once 8
Lost in straights
Few games into the first set
Thought Jimbo was easy to get
Made the same mistake
Different story at the net
Shook hands in disbelief
Actually felt a sense of relief
The sold out crowd chanting Jimbo s name
Court converted into a Colloseum all the same
Every point Jimmy lost
Crowd turning hostile representing a lynch mob

September 2nd
39th birthday celebrations
20000 plus audience
Joining the celebrations
Celebrated in his own style
Pre Quarter final on the line

Aaron Krickstein
Standing in between
Jimbo and history
When it comes to glory
No one fights harder than Jimmy

A former world number 6
Had his ambition fixed
He had his tricks
Standing in the midst
Front row seat for Legendary Jimbo grit

Tennis Stadium sounded
Like a football game
No individual sport had garnered such fame
Tempers flying in all directions
Umpires decisions questioned regarding its effectiveness
David Littlefield in the chair
Had a lot of heat to bear
Formed a new vocabulary
Kids of that generation used constantly

One game away from
The match slipping away
2/5 down in the 5th set
Feral instincts intrinsic
Created the birthday magic
Everything he did defied logic
Fans ecstatic

Lost the first set against Paul Haarius
Won three next 3 marching into the Semi
Considered by many to be the greatest point in Tennis history
Time stopped in New York city as people went dizzy

Everything changes
On of the most uses adages
Won the US open 5 times
On all  the 3 different surfaces at different times
Clay Hard and Grass
Including the inaugural win at Flushing Meadows
Going into week no 2 a miracle
Even for a 5 time winner of the title
The story he scripted here biblical
Lost in the last 4 battle to Courier
But won the hearts forever
No sacrifice big enough for immortality
His heart the reason for his enduring popularity
My city and My people as he declared proudly
5 generations of opponents during a 20 year career none could have handled this more Wisely

Playing against him
Is like playing against an army of 40000 fans
Gathered to watch him dance
Every match sold  out in advance
Black market tickets for a 1000 dollars
No seller all buyers
Crowds outside the stadium
Matching those inside
A very rare sight
His mere presence a delight
All his opponents feared the most
As he was always a darling of the crowds
Joke goes around that even the opponents family
Actually roots for Jimmy

This is what they want
This is what they paid for
Said this aloud to the crowd
Established his legacy
and with the fans his intimacy

Greatest fortnight in Tennis
Said most of the games players and  pundits
A wild card entry  given
Their most wise decision

Sailing into the Sunset
Time he will decide
On his own terms
His name is James Scott  Connors

His tagline which he underlines
That follows him at all times
Sums up his Attitude Charisma Fame and Game
IF I EVER ENTER THIS STADIUM IT IS GOING TO ROCK N ROLL

They say pigeons
Are expensive to hold
As they screech no more, with the same mellifluous song
Delivering the courier to the house, next door

My lover lives there
Beyond the shore
I adore her in her boredom and ecstasy
She loves me as long as the impatience excites her pleasure, now a desert of vast eternity

We fold envelopes for words to express
Closuring palace and palace within immortal words
From Athens to Rome in homage to her beauty
Colloseum to Parthenon in my violent *******

All of these places exist
In my mind, wrecked like a ruin
I drink a little to wet my lips and dry my tears
The rain never pours on a dead pigeon again

The memories fade away