my love,
it's one of those days again... those days where is start missing you so much it hurts and i end up curled up in my bed crying; but then again hasn't everyday been that kind of day lately? you flew back to france two weeks and three days ago.. i only saw you three times in the ten days you were here for and i never got the chance to give you a proper hug and it has been itching me since you left.. i keep rememebering the car ride.. i told you i had something to say to you and then choked up and couldn't get it out.. you were smiling as you promised you won't get mad about it because you knew what i had to say.. even after you promised i still fought to get it out right untill you stoped the car and i bursted out a frightened 'i love you'.. i was stupid to say it at that moment because we had to get out of the car as i was late to get home and we didn't have the chance to talk about it although knowing you, even if we had all the time in the world you would find a way to get away from that conversation as you have been doing for the past two years.
yesterday when i was going to school after visiting my cousin in the clinic i had to pass by our place..you know what place im talking about i'm sure i don't have to name it so i won't!.. it brought back so many memories.. but although i smiled going past it, i used to hate that place so much i concidered it hell. do you remember how many times i swore never to place foot in it anymore? do you remember how many times i came back to it just to see you? do you remember how many times we fought n made up in that place? how many times you humiliated me unfront of everyone there and how many times i forgave you without you even having to apologize? do you remember how many times you told me pretty lies in there?.. accually, do you remember anything about us? i know i do! all the details, all the good , all the bad, all of you, all of us.. i guess thats whats hurting me right now..
by the way you still havn't responded to my messages.. i've been waiting as i allways have been for you.. it's weird.. i think deep down i'll never stop waiting for you.. i just wish you would understand how much i need you and love you.. huh i got so frustrated i had to write and forgot i have to meet my friends in 8 minutes and im still in my pijamas!
i love you and miss you and im forever yours..bye!
