Someone sent me a candy gram the other day.
I marveled at the anonymous note
And cherished it for the rest of the day.
I put it in my bookbag,
Getting ready to bring it home
Just to cherish it even more.

When I got home,
I found it broken and at the bottom of my bag
The way whoever sent this to me will probably do to me...

I tasted a tiny peice, spat it out.
It was too sweet,
The way your love might be
After you broke me.
You'd try to put me back together,
The way I am trying to put this candy gram together,
But it wont ever work.
Whats been broken is broken,
And cant be fixed.
Its just a matter of accepting the brokeness and living with it.

The sun stayed out for a little while longer today,
It decided to check on all the peeps.
It yawned a great big yawn and peered out from behind the curtains of clouds,
Glaring at us all.
Even with that mighty glare,
People stared at its beauty,
Blinded by it, even,
Its looks burning onto their skin.
And they rejoiced.

For so long it had hid, and now it was out again,
Everyone was able to see her majesty
To admire her beauty and to bathe in
Her radiance.
She will beat down on everyone,
Be merciless with her immense love,
And then hide again.
But people will miss her harsh tactics.
She will be loved.

Okay, *******!
I'm sorry I'm too shy to do anything in real life,
too insecure to ask my love out,
to be in love with something so physical
Sorry I am not an arrogant self-centered ******* like you are,
that I am not confident and cocky.
Maybe I don't want people to look at me,
and judge, that I only want people to see my soul,
my personality.
But is that such a crime?
Hey, and what if everyone here is a stereotype, overplayed, overdone and fake? Looking for someone and something real is hard...
******* for calling me sweetheart, beautiful, then turning around and laughing with a friend about how I'm such a mess, talking to people in the internet on some random poetry website and for falling in love with someone's personality and soul, not just their looks, not like you who only wants a girl for her big *** and big *****, not to mention skinny *** waist and curves.
Well I'm ******* sorry (nope not really) that I like internet people,
with no judgements
like the ones you have written across your lips and constellated in your eyes.

Just do me a favor? I hope one day you will fall for a girl
with just a bit of soul, someone not a ***** for once,
and I hope she breaks your heart,
and that you will see what it's like to be with someone with a bit of spine and brain.
[walks away from him with one finger in the air]

Please don't let us
f
  a
    d
      e
away...

It'd hurt too much--
I've bared my soul out for you,
my whole heart is in those deep pockets of yours
the ones I always loved so much.
It's been so long since someone has been able to
hold my heart
oh so tenderly
the way you do.

Don't squeeze it, drop it,
return it.

Sorry! I have a no refund or exchange policy :)

If she was his ocean
And he was her sky,
What happens past the horizon?
What happens
When the skies are stormy
And are unclear
Hidden away beyind
Bursts of thunder yells
And night time lightning?
What will the ocean do then?

You're a diamond.

I told you this, that one time I allowed myself some vulnerability.
You denied it, but let me tell you,

you are both wanted by everyone,
but little to no one
ever has enough "money" to "buy" you.

You are both
impossible to ever scratch,

always shining,
in the light
and*
in the dark.

Diamonds are a precious stone,
The way you are precious to me.

I'll put diamonds on a necklace,
lay it on my heart,
the way I took your heart
and encompassed it with mine.

I'll try to shatter you, break you apart,
you'll always stay whole
when you want to.

When you don't,
you'll break into little pieces for everyone to
hold, love, cherish,
and one day you'll just disappear on them.

You'll drive women,
and men sometimes,
mad with greed, lust
for your luster, the sparkle (in your eyes).
They'll all fight for you,
and the winner?
Hah.
Who said the winner gets anything?
Both sly... both heart-breaking... both trying to rip us apart.

-poke-
you there?
-poke poke-
come on! answer me! I miss you!
-poke poke poke-
I'm sorry for whatever I've done, but babe, we can make things better!
-poke poke-
Babe? I still love you.
-poke-*
...

-to a very special guy out there, love ya J-

The way you greet me every morning
the way you think about me...
it blows my mind how someone
so intangible
thinks about ME of all people...
it makes me flush red,
and one comment
puts me in ecstasy for the whole day,
and nothing can bring me down.

You.
One simple word that makes my brain explode in ways unthinkable,
with memories of
sweet peppermint breezes,
shivers that run down my spine,
sounds of a high, all the yelling around the house now muted,
or just really cheery, chipper unheard of before this.
I hope we can make more memories.

Maybe I'm not the best.
Maybe I'm not good enough for you.

But when you talk to me,
all those worries scatter away.
You make it so that I'll think of you in my every thought,
I can't stop.
I can't eat, just thinking about you makes me full.
I'll wake up refreshed and ready to go to school with just a simple thought of whats awaiting me today  -  you.
I might be aimlessly reading, but my mind will drift to you.

Hopefully it's not just me
but
I love you.

He was so smooth,
The way he walked on over to me,
Wrapped me up in those strong arms,
And brought me close,
Whispering into my ears,
"Hey babe."
Just as I swoon,
He'll catch me before my knees buckle,
His chuckle echoing through the corridor,
My face alit with flames,
His with a sheepish,
Sneaky smile.
The dogs will bark,
The guards will holler and run.
He'll grab my hand,
And start to run,
Fast,
Faster away from the world,
And way up into outerspace,
Where we'll find our
Peace and quiet,
Where nothing will stop us,
Where we can finally come together,
And be
Us.

Someone who will shower me with affection,
and will take my love and hold it in his heart,
tenderly,
dearly.

With eyes that will watch me,
know me,
and will ask me what's wrong.

Arms that will old me together
so that I don't fall to pieces again.

Lips to whisper endearings,
to show me how much I mean to someone,
why I should still stay here;
lips to make me giggle shyly,
blush, and snort with laughter.
Lips of truth.

Hands to hold mine in,
to caress my face, and point the way.

Words to make me forget my demons behind,
to open up the seams I sewed in awhile ago,
and let all my feelings out,
and all of yours in.

And a mind to think for itself,
won't let me sway him,
independent and dependent.
Morals to be kept,
to never hurt.
Respectful, and pushy.
Sweet, caring.
Rough around the edges and soft in the middle.
My very own diamond in the rough.

thought it was supposed to be good to look back
blast from the past
and maybe it is
a good thing to do to look back
and remember everything
and improve as they say
but is it really o worth it
when looking back just
hurts and hurts and hurts
and aches and leaves you shaking
at 2am unable to stop crying and remembering
oh god oh god
i remember it now
all the things that i had worked so hard to make disappear
are chasing me now

so is it really so worth it?
to try to learn and do better
but to only end up never being able to even get past it?

Late night confessions,
aching of your strong arms
and stirring up thoughts from the deepest parts of the hell your mind runs-
Things that shouldn't be awaken, ever.

The quiet that settles into your skin,
Your steady breath hitching
on every wandering ghost
that runs across your scarred mind.

Turning inside out,
Going delusional with fear
never letting the sleep take you,
sitting up in the pitch black
trying to find your way
and not seeing anything else but you.

You're alone.

That moment when your hormones
Get the better of you
And a cute guy walks by
And you notice,
And then
Stare and
Stare and
Stare,
Like you had a chance, and he will look your way...

Stay off the streets,
stay inside,
don't make contact with anything or anyone.
There's a terrible virus going around,
it climbs through your veins,
crawls into you every thought,
and drives you mad from the inside out...
This thing will render you useless,
making your legs like jelly, your mouth and tongue bloated,
your stomach twisted.
It calls for you to talk to others, even if you can't,
to spread the virus around
with words,
actions.
It craves the touch and interaction of others.
Stay off the streets,
it's coming to get you,
it will tear you apart,
and you won't ever be able to get back up again.

Nothing seems right
It's not supposed to make sense
But somehow it all fits together
The hurt the agony
But yet all that love and smiles--
Spinning, spinning
Twirling in this sea of words
As the rain crashes down and with each raindrop
A gunshot of words
Fired right for me
Piercing me through and through

Yet somehow we're still standing

Thanks so much for bringing me so much joy,
So much sugar wrapped up in this little device
Called a phone.
Thank you for a million smiles,
For wiping away my tears,
For keeping up with all of my
*******.

Sorry I'm never enough,
But thank you all the same.

Its beautiful.
It deserves to be heard,
but I can't stand it.
I'm scared,
when you whisper into my ear
secrets of a past love,
screaming lyrics,
flustered murmers,
it just makes me more and more
confused
and I just want to fall into your eyes,
to smash my lips to yours,
to show you every single thin ive been hiding inside.
Every ******* thing.
That might overwhelm you,
but it has been overwhelming me,
my love for you is so hard to contain....
and it only starts to jump around and go just a bit berserk
when you say something,
imagine what its like when you touch me.
So, let's stick to text for now ok?
even with texts, you got my smile
stretched all the way,
incapable of stopping,
and you've got my cheeks
flustered, embarrassed, blushing.
But that might just be one of the reasons
why I love you so much.
So please go away.
Your everything just makes me more confused.
I love you.
But go away.

Dani Chase.
The Emerald Outcast.
Unwritten.
Kaisinsky.
Little Polish Boy.
Yuumei.
Leelah.
Abstract Colleague.
Lotus Blue.

It is snowing today...
How fitting.
You came in and took me like a blizzard,
Left me in awe,
Blew me around,
Showed me your love,
And I showed you mine.

But you blew away, left.
Remnants of you remain,
Clean,
Pure,
Beautiful.
Then, contaminated,
Polluted,
And finally,
Gone.

Everything inside has been
Simmering,
Waiting,
Burning deeply
Just for today
And now finally,
It can erupt
Bringing springs into my steps,
Wider, real smiles,
A pleasant additude,
And everything sugar and spice.

But guess what?
I got rid of the chemical x and the spice,
so all I have is
The sweet, sweet, sugar!

I've been flailing around
with just one my whole life,
until now.

You threw my world into
Millions of snow flurries,
Beauty in every single snowflake,
Mesmerizing and enchanting as a whole.

You connected me,
Added your one wing to mine,
And together, we flew.
We flew oh so high,
But I guess,
All good things come to an end,
And flying too high is never a good thing,
(Remember Icarus)
And my one wing fell,
And I dropped,
And I was one winged again.

I will never forget the feeling of flying.
No other wing will fit me as perfect as yours did.
*Je t'aime avec tout mon cœur.
Á bientot...

If you take me apart,
Shred me to pieces,
You'll find pieces of him everywhere.

On my arms are
Chains of his words,
Whispered into my ears,
Spells to get me through the worst.

On my legs,
Distances,
Time zones away from you,
How to get to you
Engrained into my feet's memory.

In my head,
The music notes play
Like children in the park,
They dance around,
Merrily, joyfully to your smile,
And are melancholy when you cry.

In my lungs,
Every breath is filled with you.
Inhale all you,
Exhale all of me.

On my skin,
Warmth a lit all across,
Little bonfires every where,
Sparks trailing down my skin
Tickling, tingling.
It takes away all the cold I shivered from before.

In my heart,
Your happiness.

Sin like an angel.

I want to delete every ******* poem I wrote about you, but I can't bear to delete them, I'll just lose the memory of what it felt like to be in love.

I want to write things out,
but I realize now
that there are no words
capable of showing you how I feel.

This is my goodbye to you my dear,
if only you would listen.
I love you no matter what,
and I'm glad I met you.
Be resilient and don't let anyone stop you.

Be strong as always,
carry my love with you in your pocket,
and you will survive.

You wrapped me up
In love so fierce
That all I could see
Was you.
Nothing but
you, you, you.

When you released your tentacles
And let me leave,
I blinked bleariness from my eyes,
And looked for you, but you were gone.
I looked for the warmth of a new cover up,
Someone who could wrap me just as tight,
And let me see only them,
And forget about you.

But it was never tight enough,
All I ever inhaled was cold, stale fumes,
And never the sweet cologne and hints of you own special lemongrass scent.

I became toxic.
Too many poisons digested, breathed in,
And now,
No one wants to even attempt to wrap me.

I miss you more than ever.

At first you were a distraction
To help me forget about
Him.
But then you became someone
More than just a distraction,
You became an addiction.
Once you left,
I needed a new distraction
For you this time and for him.
And the cycle continues.

I wonder, when will I stop needing
Distractions?
When well I be
Strong enough to
Not need you anymore?

I stopped hoping,
because I know these
hopes
dreams
are only just hopes and dreams, and will only be
demolished into bits of pieces,
burned in the fiery bonfires of all the hell before me.

February 5th?! Already?!
This day...
It's nothing more than another ordinary
Thursday.

Ask me what I want for my birthday...
All I have to tell you is,
You.

I just want you to be
*Safe
And
Happy.

Never be perfect,
Because if you try to be,
And somehow "accomplish" this
You will just be full of flaws
To me.

hang in there! :)
you're no hershey kiss, but a rolo!

Everything good comes with a price.

You came with the cost of my free thought,
And my flirtatious disposition,

Friends come with the fact that you will alwyas have to be there for them, support them no matter what, be burdened by their death and mistakes.

Good grades come with sleepless nights and devotion to mindless work.

Life comes with sorrow and grief as well as madness and terror.

Books come with the fact that if you read them to the end, you will be sad cause there is no more to it ocnce you are done with it.

And the list goes on, from simple things, to everything.
Think about it.

Once upon a time, there was a
fat-***, rude, easily aggravated, and aggressive princess
who sat at the top of a tower,
waiting for a dreamy prince who would someday climb the tower
and rescue her
and not care that she was
ugly, loud, and half out of her mind.

One day, that day came,
and this boy of a man
climbed up the sides of the ****** tower
that contained the dreaming princess,
hoping to save her
and make her his.

Once he got to the top,
he tapped her window,
rap...rap...rap
"My dear, I have come save you! Come out!"
She stirred out of another daydream of a
hunky, sweet guy coming to save her,
only to find that it had come true.
She dashed across the floor,
with her fat chubby legs, her heavy panting, her sloppy, ***** and tattered chiffon dress,
and burst open the french window.

"Oh hey yea, sorry I was kinda busy back there, so what's up? Why'd you come knocking? Hmmm..? Where are you?"
She looked around, but couldn't find the poor prince.
Turns out, the prince had clung on the the window,
but once she flung open the windows,
he lost his grip and fell back down,
all the way down to the bottom.
She stared down.

"****! Oh well. At least he gets that pretty ***** at the bottom,
who has yearned for his attention for so long. He'll be happy. They deserve each other."
She shrugs, closes the windows, and watches as
the fair maiden at the edge of the tower
mends his bones and his heart,
while stealing it along the way.

The fortunate prince fell in love with the dear maiden,
and it seems that she had always loved him from afar but never dared to say a word,
and they both lived happily ever after.
Of course, all while the princess stared down with a knowing smile on her face.

I might be trapped in this cupboard,
But my mind and soul wanders on its own.
They don't need legs,
Or wings,
To go anywhere it pleases.

They flew away from me yesterday
To visit you and show you my love,
To take a tour through San Francisco
With its winding slopes,
Where the mountains meet the bay.
They swam over to London,
Go spotting for Banksy artworks,
Skipped down to Russia swigging
Down that ***** halfway there to
Wash away all attachements.

But I guess the ***** wasn't enough
Cause I'm still here.

I'm sitting here,
watching you
with eyes, measured to take your
fullness, your strength in.
Maybe you can support me, while I'm flimsy
and just wanna fall down to the ground and weep.
All in all,
I just want to walk over to you,
kiss you,
and wrap myself in you.

Hello,
dear.

It's been awhile since I've last saw your scarred face,
those pockmarks etched across your skin
as you leered at me with those
hungry, greedy eyes.

It's been awhile since your words have affected me,
how they used to whisper in my ears
about all those little imperfections that scatter across my body like rainclouds on a sunny day-

But not everyone seems to hate rain.

The knife I once used
to protect myself from harm,
my friend,
it came back
and murdered me mercilessly.

I should have known it was only thirsty for bloodshed,
and wasn't truly anything good for me.

The thing with you is that
you occupy my mind
like a squatter-
There all the time and never leaving.
It makes me happy.
You've made yourself at home in
that small little cottage up there,
Filled it with warmth and music,
food and love.
And at night?
All we do is dance the night away

Today I stood
and watched
as the smoke wafted up into the air
away and away
and all I could think of was
how much it hurt to see
something so bad for you
drifting away slowly
yet I want that high
I miss that high you gave me...

**** them with kindness, they say.
so here we go.
Here we are.
Me and him and you.
You.
The one who once promised me
that whoever got him would
be at peace with the other.
The one who wants him to be happy,
the one that promised me they would
stay away and let us be.
Yet keeps coming back.
Thank you for making us stronger.
Making us realize what we mean to each other,
and how we won't let some desperate
*****
get in the way.
Thank you for hurting me,
and for being so cruel and unrelenting,
Thank you for trying to split us apart.

You've only made us stronger.
So, jokes on you.

We promised each other the world
As we clung to each other tightly,
Afraid that if we let go,
The other would crumble.

In the end,
I was the one who crumbled,
Not you.

Does five years mean nothing to you?
Five years,
Filled with crazy antics,
Bursts of laughter,
Tears from fears.

And now,
We are nothing.

I guess
I was the ******* in all of this.
Taking your insults
Like morsels of fulfillment.
Degrading me further and further,
But I took it all.
It was the only thing I knew how to.

I was forced away.
You moved on.
I stayed.
Still behind you, as always.
Waiting for the hurt to come,
But you left me.
And this is the most hurtful of all of the insults you've thrown at me.
I am nothing.

At least before,
I was something,
Someone worth thinking about to create spiteful ***** of words.
You threw insults like a game of baseball,
Pitching curveballs,
Speedballs,
Fastballs constantly,
Never stopping,
Inventing new ways to throw the baseball,
Each and everyone hitting me harder to the point that the bat did me no use anymore.
They just kept coming.
All I could do was stand and get hit,
Understand and take in everything you threw.
Harder,
Faster,
More
Each and every time.

Then others came around,
Rocking my world,
Showing me what love actually is,
Not all the **** you gave me,
I wouldn't let go.

Now I'm back.
I've caught up to you,
But you've turned your back to me,
And continued down your path.
Leaving me to stand alone at this fork in my road.

...
Guess I was the only one that cared those five years.
Guess it was all a game, huh?
...
I miss you.

You were so fleeting,
I couldn't get enough of you ever.
I ate you up,
swallowed you whole,
and when you had enough,
all that taking and taking
never able to give you enough
you were done.

"You're a mess, creep."*

Is it true?
Have you seen through my facade?
Can you tell I've been lying
And that I'm falling apart?