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Oct 2014 · 297
You are
Victoria Jasmine Oct 2014
You are the ocean
I can feel the love in waves with your breath
breathe deep, you cannot disagree
this is difficult for us, I know i'ts hard for me
I can feel your chest rise and fall when you are thinking, when your consciousness fades
up and down like our spirits, here and there like this rain
You are time and you stand still when it hurts
when I'm failed by words and my eyes avert
I want to open up and still feel strong
push on and push through it
my breath gets short when the silence is this long
we were wrong to ever agree to be less than this
to assume there's any force but love between us
You are joy, you are my boy.
I found you and the same day, I found bliss
You are the teacher who told me to find the comfort in the ignorance
Your assurance is insurance for everlasting happiness
there's a lot of comfort in a mattress on a floor
and maybe you're not quite home yet but you're always an open door
You are more
I wish I could find the words to tell you I want to find myself first
and when I can finally sing a song, know that you'll be the first verse
You are music, but will this be a whole note or a staccato burst?
I am the warmest when you defrost my ego,
You are the sun
I feel your warmth in a room full of people
You are a novel but I struggle to turn your pages
You are advancement but we move at different paces
in different shoes and separate sizes,
Same virtue and common views even some similar vices
You are words and I am realizing
You are the prizes well worth the prices
if we lose sight of the sky we've got years to find it
When you're a knot I'm here to untie it
You told me to breathe, let's start our realignment
pretty soon the sun will rise, and our eyes will adjust or we will be blinded
You are laughter and my world is righted
You are the poem I will always be writing
when it gets the darkest, you shine the brightest.
© Victoria Jasmine
Sep 2014 · 375
mother
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
I remember touching your veins and breathing in the way you smelt
I cried at your cigarettes and the way you held your head on Sundays
I felt at home in your warmth
I watched the sea of freckles on your arm become my own
Your tears fell along both of our cheeks
I shared your oxygen and now I share the silence
If it takes my whole life
I promise I will hold you up
I'll carry you and throw the bottles away until you can carry yourself
Even if I never had a home I had a place to hide
I hope you find what you're looking for
You've taught me there's never a force on Earth like love
You've been locked in those rooms for all these years
Let's find the keys
I breathe because you held emotion before my lungs had formed
Held compassion for me before you ever met me
Warmed my heart in the coldest nights
© Victoria Jasmine
Sep 2014 · 1.5k
moon phases
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
I learn more about the importance of guarding my heart every time I open it. I am far too naive and hopeful, I love too easily and I am too quick to believe things people say to me. I see the best in people and even though I allow myself to see people’s true colors, I become blind to how dark the shades get. I am the grand optimist, because I lay on the dirt in the dark where people leave me and all I can look at is the stars. I am tired of being used to fill a void, because I am whole. I am a full moon, and every man I encounter is my phase; slowly, piece by piece I disappear, until I enclose entirely into the shadows. Today is another new moon.
© Victoria Jasmine
Sep 2014 · 575
down
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
lately ive been counting stars but not my blessings
         i remember to go to school but i forget the lessons
i can see my talents
           but not for what i am destined
i haven't thought of the answer
             because im caught up on the question
my heart is beating f a s t lately
                   my patience is spread thin
my emotions are


    u                              
          p              
                    and

             ­               d      
                                o
­                                     w          
                    like the ocean  
                
left alone somewhere at sea level
feeling sick from the rocky motion

he's knocking me   d
                                      o
he's kicking my ***          w
he's getting another punch i**n
© Victoria Jasmine
Sep 2014 · 226
Untitled
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
I am not plaster to pour into your mold
of what you wish I would be
of what you wish I would say
let me breathe
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
we are playing a game of cat and mouse
i am the rodent through and through
clawed and bleeding at your paws
as i wake with your hand between my thighs
as you breathe life into me
good morning
© Victoria Jasmine
Sep 2014 · 198
poetry is a flame
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
I told myself I was done making poems out of people
It is comparatively easier to erase words
than a soul from my memory
people aren't poems
poetry is a flame
a fire doesn't pick and choose what it engulfs
it is both violently dangerous and entirely free
and under the influence of your gaze
I've set ablaze an entire library
do you think books have emotion?
do words feel the pain?
there is a ghost of you following me and I've been trying to capture the sound of your voice in clicks of a keyboard
I tried press the pen close to the paper
like your fingers on my back on those long nights
now mine are blistered and I've replaced the memories with ash piles on my book shelves
© Victoria Jasmine
Sep 2014 · 204
power
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
I'm not gonna try to save you or fix you
you've got to want that on your own
I am not an idea or a concept
or a means to feel whole again
I am not mediocre
I am not simple
I am not the girls you climb in bed with when your heart hurts
I am on a journey and I will hold out my hand
you can grab it and come with me
or you can waste your life away with your "I can't"s
I will dance and sing with you anywhere
but at your pity party
I don't care about what your exes did wrong
tell me what they did right
tell me about your dreams
don't you dare tell me
you can't have or be or do anything you want
because I will tell you
you are wrong
you are wrong you are wrong you are wrong

you are so close to everything you desire
you just have to truly want it
do not doubt yourself
your strength
there is power in your thoughts and importance in your attitude



*act accordingly
© Victoria Jasmine
Sep 2014 · 283
tangled
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
He’s begging me not to leave
and in my head
I’ve already went over a
thousand scenarios
He tells me it’s possible
for two people to be on the
exact
same
page
but I don’t know if he realizes the difference between his eyesight
and my own
we see through the same optical anatomy but his vision
will
always
be
blurry
without his glasses
We can both read the same words but through
different vision
we can glue our fingertips together but the prints
would never line up
He can press his hips to mine
but there are separate galaxies growing
inside
of
us
We can sleep aside each other
we could tangle the ends of our hair together
and touch our foreheads
in our slumber
but we will never share our dreams
The lines in a poem could have
a
thousand
different
interpretations
I wish you could realize
that doesn’t mean
any one of those meanings
is wrong
© VictoriaJasmine
Sep 2014 · 297
may 20
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
You are my blind eye
to my skin stretched tight against my worn bones
always too sensitive to the cold
I laid my insecurities
out side by side
captioned in full detail
as real as sight
And you canceled each one out as your fingers dragged along my thighs
You are tickles in my nose
from the smell of smoke, the longing for a drag
When Ive always turned my nose
Maybe I just want to get close
closer
become the very matter of your bones
hold you in more places than just my dreams
I want to think of you
when I think of
Home
© VictoriaJasmine
Sep 2014 · 291
Untitled
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
I re-read the letter I wrote
And crossed out everytime I said
"I can't"
And "you're wrong"
I've grown so weary
Of growing weary
I've left my heart and mouth closed
For too long
From now on my eyes will search the sky for the sun
Even when it's hiding for the sake of the moon
I want to blister in it's rays
Or not feel it's heat all all
My heart and skin anticipate
The strike of noon
I've detangled the knots in my stomach
I've combed through the bitter insecurities
I'm not trembling out of fear anymore
Rather shaking off the demons
I don't want to do anything by half again
I don't want mediocre love
I want to drown in someone
When I do out of fear
I am not doing at all
If I don't live for me
I don't live for anyone
I can't keep claiming I tiptoe through the feelings I tread on
And lately I've been stomping
But so off beat
Thought I was jumping to your music
But I was dragging my feet
Im parting ways with every bad habit
That leaves my emotions written in my actions
Like Braille
Closing up in my head and biting my nails
I've fallen in love
With words
And your eyes
I will interpret the poem
Hiding somewhere between your irises and soft sighs
Id drop my phone
And get lost in you like a book
The thing that always brought me solstice
Has lately been overlooked
Im diving into your pages
Paying attention to every like
Remember the warnings not to leave a book open
Or you'll damage it's spine
I'll leave you breathless but never blind
You need your eyes to read into these words
I'll dim my lights and finish this story even if I have to read all night
©VictoriaJasmine
Sep 2014 · 314
Night fall
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
You swore to love my oceans but you only toe my shorelines
I handed you that shell hoping you would keep it
My mind wandered away
I thought of the way you hold my hand as I watched the osprey pluck its dinner from the sea
I wonder if the fish panics as the air leaves its lungs
Or blindly and helplessly goes with the flight
I wonder if it falls in love with the talons against its scales
You swore you love the sun but you never watched it rise with me
I threw the shell back into the sand
I don't need memorabilia
I don't want to remember this night
It holds only a memory
Of the trembling of my legs
And silence under the stars
You dragged my heart along
I dragged you to that beach
You were distracted
With what or whom I'm unsure
I wanted to share those stars with you
I longed for conversation
Some ******* interest
But I settled for nods of your head and constantly reassuring myself
Maybe it's not me
I was staring at the beauty of the stars and felt like I was punched in the chest
I wanted to lay and let the ocean drift me out
Not in the sense that I just wanted the days to end
Rather to spend them at peace and free with the tides
All my separate parts could reach the different corners of the earth
Maybe you'd miss me then
Maybe you'd think of my indifference
And see something familiar in the sound of the waves withdrawing into themselves
The ocean will mock the way you play with my heart
It will offer you it's hand and then take it back
Over and over and over
Stop asking me for my oceans
I am tired of hearing you tell me you don't want to swim
©VictoriaJasmine
Sep 2014 · 206
Untitled
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
I dream about you the most before I wake up
That fleeting second between consciousness and dream
Where your skin feels the realist
The warmest
The closest thing I have to holding you again
I noticed every detail about you
The way your fingers curled and tapped and danced around
I didn't feel the shivers until you mentioned you were cold
There were goosebumps dotting your back and I counted them silently like the stars
I counted the seconds between your breaths
And every time your head broke the surface of the water
I breathed a sigh of relief like a worried mother
©VictoriaJasmine
Sep 2014 · 489
The patience of gardening
Victoria Jasmine Sep 2014
You are clean cotton doused in Windex
the OCD mom
the sam's club size bottles of hand sanitizer
the peace
the calm
I am the glass window smeared with fingerprints
industrial sharpie zig-zagged across a white wall
I am battle cries across an open field
I am the instant regret of a slammed door
If you love me you can love the valley of flowers between my thighs but you can't be afraid of the blood and gore
Sometimes I wonder if my skin is one solid calloused mass
or layers of paint peeling away off of a house
I wonder if as the paint on my shins chips away
you can see the bruises from bike pedals
I wonder if you can hear my painful shouts
I wonder if you grab a hold of the layer covering my penal gland
you can read a hardcover novel about my worry and doubt
I wonder if you can see the jagged scars along my spine
from every time I got friendly with somebody's knife
I wonder if you can see the way I smiled through the spite
shook hands with the same people
who drove daggers through my spirits
laughed when the rain fell the hardest
and always hardest it might
I know that you can love my best dressed persona
my freshly brushed teeth
But with my good hair days
come the days I nearly rip it from my scalp
Then there are days when I am completely in love with me
I am a disproportional mess of history
a collection of experiences that have begun to shape my existence
I am not made of stone
I am flesh and bone
I am a heartbeat and lungs of persistence.
I am clay in your hands, and I am at your fingers demand.
There is music when you strum a guitar
but it still holds importance when it is silent in it's stand
Don't mistake my quiet for doubt
I am trying my very best
when I'm a river try being my drought
Pull me closer
don't shut me out
You said our love could be a garden
maybe we need is just a little more rain
We've got the love part down
Our kisses are roses
touches are carnations
There could be a petal for every ounce of our pain
Our garden has been planted we just need some patience
©VictoriaJasmine

— The End —