poinsettias and
pine needles and
cranberry spice and
you,

the golden lights reflected in your eyes,
your hand rising to touch my face, and

...nothing

you dissolve back into the pool of my daydreams,
our memories swept downstream in the river of my mind
gone as quick as they came, cold, unforgiving, never mine

Does he dream of me the same way I do?
Does he fall asleep pretending I'm in his arms too?

Am I ******, alone in my wanting?

My imagination is the only place he's mine, so I go back
Will I have his hand in mine, looking to the horizon?
Will he sink into my eyes the way I want to drown in him?
Will he decorate me with flowers the way I dress my heart with him?

I don't even know what my favorite flower is
If he asked, what would I say?

I've never needed an answer before

was there even a sound?
tumbling to the earth
landing awash in our sins

one, two, three, or more
and then it's dark
bones taking root on the floor
then, a spark—
a little flicker, just enough
then bound in starlight

things are rough
but I'm gonna be alright