but the haunting memories come back,

my hand reaches for the knife.

1
2
3
4
5
.
.
7
.
.
.
10
20



someone save me before i end it all..

oh,

how
it hurts.


to say
those three (3)
words.


are you sure?
are you lying to me?

am i just a toy to you?

should i believe you?

i don't.

believe you,

because i dont want to love you back.

but i do,

so.

i’m a kid, going through some ****. using this as an outlet.

the guys threatened to kick me out, im a minor, still too young to have a legal job.

telling me to go live with my mom as if that’s where the dumpster is.

is that all she is to you?

i know you’re not on good terms but that doesn’t give you an excuse to be an ******* towards her.

i’m just here, a shattered soul

wanting help but never going through with it

because i’m scared

and i don’t want to hurt you


but truthfully


i don’t want to live here

"fake people,
fake smiles,
fake hugs,
fake hope,
fake friends,
fake love.
cause fake friends are a real waste of time
and fake love is real waste of life
so don't you go texting me
telling me
wish you were next to me
rest in peace
everything's ending eventually
best friends can become your enemies"
-
FEELINGS FADE, GNASH, RKCB

ill use you,
your pretty hole(s)

wouldn't you like that, dear?

all you do is beg and beg,
it gets annoying but
it's okay :)

just be a subby little bottom for me.

but,

i guess i dont anymore

i gave up

on you.

maybe
i dont know how to live
on my own
while being comfortable
with being me,
with being not okay,
with living.

but
does it matter?

ill always be left alone

no
matter
what.

just disappear

forever,

fall asleep and never wake up.


why can't i?

why is she messaging you

why is he messaging you

i want to trust you,

i trust you.


maybe i'm not the one.

that's alright.

i guess.

oops.

relapse?


i cut myself again.

i promised not to.

it felt right


i couldnt handle it anymore.

its on my thigh this time.

i loved you
i thought we were friends
until i saw you
standing with her
the person who made
me feel so worthless.
you laughed at me,
i didn’t think much of it.
but the next day,
you kicked me when i tripped,
laughed when i cried
and took the person
i loved the most away
who are you?