Give me something of yours that won't die....
If you are reading this, thanks for your TIME!

And love
What of love?!
Have you ever heard of a cage...
Glorified that much

Her smell permeated my soul so strongly
Now I have anosmia

Apart
Apart
Apart
we are rivers apart
you came off of me
I came off of you
Now your tongue is gibberish
my gestures are sicklish
Now nothing can bring us
bring us back together
we are miles apart
miles and miles and galaxies and light years
APART

I am sorry
If you don't like my poems
I am sorry
That even if you don't like them you still sometimes have to see them
But you know i can't stop writing
Sometimes even when there is no rhyme or reason
I sometimes even question myself why why do i write them?
And what do i want from them?!
I know they are far from the lyrical analogy of a well formed mind deeply inclined towards touching the chords of another heart in a random tandem
But i can't stop
So pardon

She has never been to a river
And still she moved like water

I don't want your money...
And I m not looking to please
All I am here for is to afflict you with my disease....

You can't hold it for long
And there are many delusions
Million stars in the sky and a billion blues in the ocean
You think you are close to edge and you will drop in the solution
But your mind just puts another thought in  motion
It's the contemplation about contemplating about contemplation

Sadness and happiness is cyclic...
Like a snake eating its own tail...
Benzene...

If you ever knew a woman truly,
You came close to magic

She was a blot
Blot of emotions
She came oozing out of her mother's womb
Her first word was a cry
And she has been tender since then
Beauty of the world broke her
And her laugh was a wonder
Yet seldom she smiled
Because it was melancholy which has died her skin deeper
Deeper than everything else
She wondered...
Was it all because she was born at night?

She inhaled the sky
And gave birth to clouds...

Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue
But she was so
True True True True True

Love left her body
And was found crawling on the floor
Tears of somebody
drowned her and brought her back ashore

They wanna put me in a box
They wanna put me in a box... real fast
They got all kinds ....
Just want to stick the label
So they won't feel confused
So they won't have to think about me hard
They need to sort
Like books on shelves
They want to trap me in a story...
..... in their heads

All the world's happiness is for you and there is nothing for me
You got a garden full of beautiful roses
And i got a garden full of succulent cacti trees
I know even roses have thorns
And sometimes u too bleed
But imagine bleeding all the time
Because that's the fate of having a cacti tree
Yes even cactus have flowers,
On those rare occasions
But have u ever seen anyone talking about cacti flowers
Oh the horrors of being a little flower on a much thorny tree?!

You talk of everything, Ceecee
But you mean nothing, Ceecee
You talk about the world, Ceecee
But you are not of this world, Ceecee
You are kind Ceecee
And  you are one of a kind, Ceecee
But tell me
......
Are u the disease, Ceecee
Or will you be the ultimate cure, Ceecee
Are those your eyes, Ceecee
Or is that the reflection of me that i find nice, Ceecee
Are you the veins,
Or are you the arteries Ceecee
Are you taking away
Or are you bringing in the Pain, Ceecee
Will it be the ultimate love
Or will it eventually go dilute, Ceecee

The city makes you feel important
Those caged buildings make you feel like something you are not
But in those open fields beneath the sky
You will see the vastness and know how insignificant we all are
Just a crop and harvesting season is coming soon

Won't he leave her now
More than two decades have gone by
Since she caught his fancy
He turns her stomach to knots
And leaves her heart cold
Throws her fast and catches her slow
She might not glitter
Because he has been stealing her gold
Everyone suspects she is the devil
But it's devil's hold

Love was lying there
Begging her to hold his hand
But she was afraid of losing her stand

She wished she had more depth.....
Although she was already drowning

Thou art so cruel world
Every time he went out
A little something in him died...

everything is same
same for you
but my eyes have turned inside out
and now i can clearly see
all the things you said was just an elaborate lie
and i,a fool, got deceived
a sunflower among roses
saw the beautiful red ,
while your thorns left me bloodied
you have got your prize now
and lets hope you take your eyes off of me

His poems were beautiful
They smelled of roses and rain
With a hint of glistening summer tan
She wreathed them into her hair
And they dissolved into air
Leaving behind
Fragrance of Remembrance

Is it love?!
She asked herself
Do u even know him well?!
She told herself
Are u so fickle?!
She reprimanded herself
Do u believe in love at first sight?!
She chided herself
But still she went crying and sighing behind closed doors for years
What was she searching for?!
Was it his love or just love?!
Well the damage was done
Now her heart seemed so big
It will hardly be filled by his love
And she will always be the girl with the empty heart

I was a desperate terrible teen
And no all those years, were never green
Now that i lay here lying in smithereens
I think green was a color that never actually truly suited me
And blues...were well blues
For if you ever find yourself a green man
And ask him to show you his,
You will be out of count
my friend...
Let me tell u this..
As it has always been

There is a tree
It hangs its branches low,
For wind to blow

The hundred pieces of me,
They are found hanging from a lifeless tree , I break and all of them get free  
one cries and ,other tries to be free  one dips in the muckey waters of melanchonly while, other smiles forlornly.
One piece wailes, while other sings, songs of sirens of what it could be.    one piece becomes cold white,  other turn amber green .
One is weeping in the corner,  other hangs from the chandelier singing songs of the free.
Even when they try to come together, there are cracks which still separate them from one another.
 Like a haunted house full of brazen deserted trees

I kept standing
I kept standing and everything went to the floor
I kept standing and there was no floor anymore.
I kept standing and grass grew on the door.
I kept standing and there was no light anymore.
I kept standing and everyone went to the dance floor,
I kept standing and you punched me in the face
till I could feel no more.
I kept standing even when my feet were sore,
bruised and burning no more.
I kept standing even when there was no point in standing any more.

I know its hard,
hard to carry a body around,
And I know its summer
But it always keeps raining in my mind,
Every one that knows my name,
Doesn't know the struggle to keep it barely floating behind,
I know that I am not in your heart
But it does nothing to keep you away from my mind,
I know I can't keep it casual
Intensity is permanently renting a space in my mind,

She wondered if the stars were too close or if she was too far....
From earth, humans

little bird
cant fly; cant fly
eyes always
looking at the sky
Never heard of a bird that can't fly
**** up lil bird
cold soup;
is all u gonna ever try
feed ur lovesick heart
lil bird
lovepotion is losing its high
oh lil bird
dont freeze wen ur parents
tumble you into this wholehell sky
dont get cold lil bird all dey want for u is to find ur own sky
bt shame lil bird ur mind has found its own neverland sky
oh lil bird ;if u could just fly
i know lil bird how u like the high
jst try; just try
ur siblings are shouting from the sky
u watch them lil bird with awe inspiring sigh;
and u turn your face lil bird
coz u cant face d lack of same love u find in their eyes
are u not trying lil bird???? tell me  or  have u jst glued your
eyes to the sky
fear lil bird has it turned you to
a box of ice and u keep looking for fire  to turn you from cold to nice
in the night ; hiding in the shadows  comes ur fight
keep fighting lil bird searching for dat thing  dat destroyed you
from the start
an enemy  so variant even u wont recognize  no one sees it lil bird
but u know lil bird how it is dat u hav to fight keep fighting fight fight fight fight fight fight fight..........
u laugh lil bird ...about how u thought once dat ppl were so high now u see them in the real light
dey got blood on their lips lil bird fools think that smearing lipsticks  can make it hide
but in the same light can u see urslf too lil bird
******* off of ppls love to make u high
oh sick lil bird how is ur idealism
love is your drug; yellow avian
and u want it unadulterated even more than your diet
even a slight impurity; u r spinning out of sight
stop dreaming lil bird come back from d neverland sky
maybe dey r jst ppl
and maybe dey r jst trying to survive
even with blood on their lips
and even with a foot that has
never touched a shoe for life.
so come lil bird come down from the neverland sky
they will never know  how it feels to see  the world , and want to change everything from left to right, to see someone in pain and get their own heart ripped apart
or how a song can make someone feel alive
and how when  you watch a movie and for a day become the character u like
funny lil bird  how u remind me ....
and when you want ppl to understand you without words.....
watever lil bird jst come down from d neverland skies

You have so many beautiful words
But I lost my dictionary
The last time life came to visit me...
You say it's  amber, salmon, sage, ocher, rosewood
But all I see is red, black and black mixed with blue
The color of bruises,
The bloodiness of scars
Will you lend me your dictionary
So I can borrow some fancy words
And put them in..
Just like ribbons and lost stars
To cover the surfaces that have been marred....

The eyes might look beautiful and nice now
But soon they will turn dark and cold as ice

You can be deep down in the muck
And still be a lotus
Saw it with my own eyes

Oh love
Aren't u a gift from above?!

I don't know the words to the poem that will make your eyes shine
Last time I read a poem I was probably  nine
Sorry but the rain didn't get in my brain that time(shel Silverstein anyone!)
Shane koczyan, I can't even spell his name right, how can you expect me to make it rhyme
And yes we all may be beautiful but the ugliness is right behind,in the rear view mirror to find
If misery loves company, then I am the best friend of mankind
If Sadness is omnipotent  then you will find me on each street,corner and even recesses of your mind
How can a man who is even a tiny bit smart not be sad in these times
If love comes free, why is hate always lingering on our mind.

They say love kills
so i asked him :Are u dead?

She was always in love
And he was always at war

She is crying on my shoulders,
Its forgotten who is the elder one;
My big sister has let another guy into her head
I have never been the luckier one;
He let himself in and  now he is running faster than he can;
I have a head too but hard as I try I  can't  never let anyone in  
I want to get my heart broken and I too want  to cry  a river over someone
But my heart is tightly closed like a box that can never open , I guess I would never find the lucky one !!!
Until then u can decide which sister is the lucky one

The boy with the maroon sweater
You took her heart and threw it in the gutter

The boy with the maroon sweater
She tried her best but you were always better

The boy with the maroon sweater
She knew you were smart but you were an early quitter

If Mirror were to reflect minds, it would have shattered in pieces.... To reflect it perfectly .... in details.

She killed herself
And no one cared
She was not their daughter
And not their sister
So it was not their pain to bear

Oceans behind her retinal curtains
But she never cried

Love kills slowly at first,
And then all at once.

She always wanted to be Jo, always
But she was always scared what if she was Beth?!
The thought made her gut churn,
she felt pukish , horrified
She looked at her bitten nails....
The sweet sickly Beth
Who cared so much
And made herself sick
Caring about others
About things
With no lover
Only her family
All alone
With worries...
Beth was not a warrior
Just a worrier
Worried sick

She knew there was nothing of  Meg in her, nothing
Meg was too safe
Too practical

But there were parts of Amy in every march

Each one of them marched to their own beat.....
But  Beth was just a beating heart....
Or maybe she was just a coward
A true hamlet  trapped in endless to be or not to be
She will make you want to throttle her and save her at the same time

Beth needed sacrifice....
To survive
Or was she the sacrifice?!

John thought John was a nice man
John loved his family
John went to church
John paid his bills,for being a human
John was agreeable,to his colleagues and to charity
John paid his dues for being in a society
John loved animals
John even slipped a couple of notes to people begging on the streets


But John,John thought he was a bad man
John was constantly bleeding
John had a hole so big in his soul,but no one could find it
John loved his family but he was ready to quit anyday
John went to church ,but those hail Marys were bitter birch
John liked his colleagues and would have loved to put a little poison in their coffees
John paid his dues but couldn't stop the gagging in his throat everytime he did it
John once puked on the society and washed it squeaky clean so fast
No one could see it
John cared so much that he didn't give a **** by night

But he slept
Good John was punctual

I have still got pain.
Its big and in vain, 
For its only pain,
It has got no body and no brain.
Its of no use ,
And from it nothing I will gain 
But it still comes like a tornado and rocks me like a hurricane .
It breaks my windows and knocks on my door
And enters swiftly, even when I don’t open them wide anymore,
And it holds me prisoner,free once but no more  ,
And it makes me write verses like they were curses once for sure,
Thats the gift that gives me  my pain .
No its never a boon,
it's alwez a bane.
A bane of my existence,not clear and quite uncertain.
I ride the waves from fountain to fountain. My pain has really no gain BT it's still bleeding,
bleeding crimson red from heart shaped curtains .
From the door to the street, it will make me keel it will make me bleed, but
Don’t love me alone, I may be insane.
But love me, love me because i come branded with my pain.

All the things you can put on a paper....
Cerulean skies
Beauty of fireflies
Freckled skin
Brown eyes
Red lips
Sharp teeth
****** heart

And all the things you can't....
Winter's frost
Summer's splinter
The cold of the ice
The ******* of the nice
The horror of hope
The desire that burns
And every broken breath

And still....
You Cope.