I mourn for your lips

So much that I feel aches that send speckles of darkness sinking into the pit of my stomach
and your smile alludes the impression that you are satisfied by this
and I discern the notion  of my lips having been touched but never really kissed

yet still, I mourn for your lips

lips that I have kissed, that never kissed me.

the walls are transparent, yet so thick.
Let. me .
free.

I am muted,
and subdued.
Let me be
unruly.

I was red,
green,
yellow,
purple,
gold,
now I am grey

Let. me.
shine.

its as easy as pretending it never happened,
and
very well feeling as though its all thats happened.

I ached to feel the comfort of someone turning my pages
eager to read, cover to cover
agreeing in contentment
because I was enough
maybe even more than enough.

Leave me with nothing;
nothing but nostalgia that'll hurt so good
it'll pinch my chest
and send whirl winds through my stomach
yet I'll love it,
just like I loved you.

love is habituating
as are broken hearts