I am the definition of emotional baggage
I have way too many problems that I need to manage
You have barely gone through one of my suitcases
I am not sure if you want to travel to this deadly oasis
There are too many childhood memories stuffed away in these containers
Too many things that won’t help make your life that much greater
I don’t think that I’ll be good enough for you
Because I still have too many bags to sieve through
There are too many panic attacks to hold in one bag
And for some reason I can’t throw them away in the trash
I have to keep them by my side and pull them along
They are full of broken monologues
I have too many suicide attempts stuffed away
I have so many unfinished notes that still linger in my day
Most days I feel like dating me is a chore
That the average person would prefer to ignore.
I am not scared to date you because I’m not good enough
I am scared to date you because I have too much
I have too much past and too much sadness
To ever try and help you pursue happiness
I am unfinished masterpiece and I am working on it
But how wants a work in progress this far from being done?
I have so many suitcases that I will let you open
I just don’t want to ruin our moment

Crush me between your fingers-
I will smell like fallen leaves.
Soft on autumn mornings I was caught between your teeth.
And I wove myself into your sweaters that you wore to stop the breeze.
Your cold set in my bones and I think I’ve lost all heat.

This feeling...
Heavy...
Like a wreath bearing down my neck.
Every fibre in me seem to be at loggerheads.

My heart...
Pounding.
Each beat is a hammer
sledging away at my saneness.

My breaths...
Premature and short.
Inconsistent.
I respire full but with punctured lungs.

I was there when you were hurting
I was there when you were scared
I was right beside you
When you thought that no one cared

You're waiting on a miracle
That's right before your eyes
I've bottled every drop
Of the tears that you've cried

Just ask and you'll receive it
If only you believe
I'll calm the storm and dry your eyes
So you can clearly see

The trinkets of this world
Build a wall between you and me
You're trapped within your prison
I'm just trying to set you free

Take a look around you
How cruel the world can be
I died to save you from it
Just ask and you'll receive

Just ask and you'll receive it
If only you believe
I crushed the wall the world built
So you could get to me

I feel there's two minds
That reside in my head
One on the right
One on the left

What I desperately need
Both minds to do
Is focus on knowledge
Center on truth

These two separate minds
That mull in my head
One reasons slow
The other thinks fast

What I'm hoping to find
With this state of mind
That they'll both work together
In double time

Pulling as one
Easily done
Hugging it out
In my cranium

If they only would
Bend to my will
Until that day
They lay perfectly still