i hate you
this feeling of grudge just make me feel uncomfortable
why
for three long years, why are you still here
stuck in my head?
everytime we're in the same space
why do i have to hold everything
my palms felt sweaty
every mistake i make in front on you makes me feel extremely bad
i get all sweaty everywhere
why are you still part of my mechanism?
i just want to move on from this feeling
that feeling when i still long for you
whenever im alone thinking of us being together
i don't want those delusions anymore
im tired.
im tired of convincing myself that we can't be
we're impossible to be together
im tired of making myself digest that I
i'm not your perfect pair
i'm not at your standards
and telling myself it's ok
you'll find someone better
but when?
as time goes by it kept me suffering
as our space get smaller it gets suffocating
coz if you get closer, i would lose my impulse
i wouldn't want to break you
yes, i like you
but no, you don't like me too.

insecurities
rumors
failing grades
immaturity
crowded people

i
had
enough
of
that

this environment is suffocating me
as if there's a rope ******* in my neck
what's the point of suicide
when everything around you
slowly kills you

everything does come back to you
it's funny how i once laughed at love songs
how i said it was cheesy and immature
those young fellas who seem to enjoy each others' companion
oh how i despised them when i was young

a philosophy in my mind worked out
that whoever comes will soon go away
even though you think she's your forever friend
or the true love that you've been waiting
they might and would always leave you behind
that is why you gotta train yourself
to be alone
to be independent
to be strong

but, what is this feeling?
it's something that i should ignore
no, wait, now it hurts
this sensation of lonesome
gluttons my very soul

yes, please, i need a friend
someone whom i can love legitimately
and knows how to love me back wholesomely
save me from this unwanted gloom
that kept eating up my pride and my smile

my tears, like the last dewdrop in a drought
fell into my eyes as i write this poem
it is a call for help
a lonely blue whale's last song
do you think someone would hear me out?

o n e  t h o u s a n d  d a y s
you came this long guys!
who knew this day would come?
since the mere start of where yall from...

more than a  t h o u s a n d  d a y s before
and tropical night saids it all
that you have shed sweat not because it's hot
but for your dreams and for those who believe in you

o n e  t h o u s a n d  d a y s before
the doors of opportunity opened before your eyes
fame was now on your hands to mold
and stardom had already entered your world

o n e  t h o u s a n d  d a y s
and you proved us more than enough
hardships, trials, and pain
bearfruited triumphs and rewards

o n e  t h o u s a n d  d a y s
more than 50 songs released
a successful world tour was done
prestigious awards and of course, a first win was achieved

o n e  t h o u s a n d  d a y s
and this family grew bigger
and so does our love for each other
everyday, our companionship just becomes better

o n e  t h o u s a n d  d a y s
and above all these blessings
you guys remained kind and sweet
an angel's heart still remains in each of you indeed

o n e  t h o u s a n d  d a y s
and more than a thousand reasons
to believe, to fully support
and of course, to whole-heartedly love you

o n e  t h o u s a n d  d a y s
yet there's still more to come
more memories will be created
and a stronger bond will continue to persist

i tried to ignore this
i tried to forget the feeling
it doesn't matter anymore
but why do i kept thinking about it?

yes, i was happy
we all shared a good laugh
i enjoyed your companionship
but why do i keep doubting?

i honestly never felt
the same love you give to each other
why do i always feel inferior
when you guys are the ones i prior?

if i go partways, will you ever miss me?
am i even in the best part of your memory?
well apparently i don't think so
sooner or later, i think im about to let go