Forgetting you was a feeling I had never felt before.
It was like the feeling you get when the bell rings
on the last day of Senior Year.
Like the first day of spring time.
Like the smell of fresh cut grass on a Saturday morning.
Like the first breath of air you take when you swim up
from the deep end of the pool.
But it also felt like the sadness of realizing you finished another
chapter of your life. Senior Year was over.
You'd never see those people ever again.
It was like realizing spring time meant allergies and these next
2 months would be painful.
Like wondering why am I up early enough to smell the
cut grass on a Saturday morning.
Like the pain you feel when you get all the way to the bottom of
the swimming pool and feel this dying need to take a breath.
But you're so far from air you think you'll never make it.
Forgetting you was so relieving yet so painful at the same time.
And you'll forever be the one who first made me feel this way.

It was like the fall signified your leaving.
The leaves parting from the trees like you parted from me.
The temperature dropped like the heat departed from my body when you left.
Like the heat from your body disappeared from the spot next to me in bed.
It was as if when the first leaf of September dropped from the tree
and fluttered to the ground, you evaporated.
The leaves turning from radiant, warm colors,
to a brown, wilted, dead leaf on the wet ground.
Because a leaf cannot live without it's tree, it's source of life.
And you, my darling, were my tree.
When autumn came you let me fall.
You left me there to wilt.
I was no longer radiant and vibrant, I was brown and crumpled.
Everyone stepping on me with their winter boots, laughing and smiling, while all I can hope is that the fall flies by and the spring begins,
Because maybe, just maybe,
you'll return again next spring.

I found myself staring at you
from across the Chemistry room.
I found my mind creating these poems about your eyes,  
about your smile,
about your voice.
You created these poems in my head
like a seed and water create a flower.
I had these flowers blooming like crazy in my head like my hand
held a pen losing its ink with every word I scrawled down.
I planted these flowers into the paper
just as you had done to me.
As I found myself creating these poems in my head
I realized I had no idea how to stop them.
They had a mind of their own, these poems,
they were growing like a wildfire,
just like the flowers you'd embedded into my brain.

Everything I didn't want to do he made me do it
because he knew I'd be happy with the
outcome
Everything I said he contradicted
Every time I annoyed him to his wits end
he fought with me until we found a
common ground
Everything that scared me was just another way
he could push me
And in the end I realized he was the man I wanted
Not someone who obsessed over me,
agreed with me on everything,
obeyed to my every command,
let me get away with silly, petty things
I wanted someone to push me
Someone to fight with me
Someone to throw me into a world I wasn't used to
I wanted someone who loved me, so much,
so much that he shoved me out of my comfort zone
to find what life means.
That's who I wanted.