quickthought
LOST 
GONE 
rewindback
GOOD
IDEA
cantremember
CREATI­VE 
 CATCH
slippedthrough
THE 
CRACKS
nevertocome 
BACK 
AGAIN 
m­isfortunatetruth 
TWO
WORDS
readfast
TWO
WORDS
readbold
BOLD
TOLD­
rereadagain 
FROM
START
theend

Sun in the sky
looked up to
for warmth
Clouds in the sky
looked upon for
meaningful luck

Moon in the sky
looked up to
for light
Stars in the sky
looked upon for
meaningful love

I wake up cold
shes not
by my side
I wake up alone
shes not
my goodluck

I go to bed alone
my life seems
so dark
I go to bed hurt
my love has
disappeared

Start your day with goals
remind youself of purpose
be prepared to win

Shattered glass
lay in pieces
upon the granite
A scarred reflection
erupted with anger
like a volcano
Both hands
covered in blood
Why wont
the voices quit
with the contradiction?
Why cant
you just be content
with who you are?

Crime commited
wrongfully convicted
Plead not guilty
but she didnt believe me
My defense insanity
it wasnt really me
She refused to hear it
and threw the book at me
Life sentence, my punishment
with no chance of parole
Mine as well have been
the death penalty
With that verdict
she literally killed me
Trapped within a cage
engulfed in total rage
My anger for my old self
forced the demons to escape
An appeal was formed
a new case was born
She no longer the judge
I no longer held a grudge
Acquitted on all accounts
uplifted from all the doubts
Through true loss of love
forced change was gained
Reflection of past situations
realization of mental triggers
Acceptance of all decisions
the good, bad and indifferent
Responsibility for self flaws
insecurities acquaintances
I didnt have to be perfect
no one expected me to be
From hostage to victim
from victim to broken
From broken to healed
for once I felt like me
FREE

Compare contrast
friendships
are meant to last
not gauge

Time for time
invested
to each our own
concept

What it means
to me versus
what it does to you
different

It wieghs on my soul
it wieghs on my heart
from the begining
from the start

But who am i to judge
who am i to care
about anyone else
more than myself

Without self-love
without self-respect
we cannot elect
to love anyone else

Call it selfish
label it facetious
but its the truth
but its the reality

Every pore a sensor
every movement accounted for
Every word heard and dissected
every feeling selected
Every tone detected
every emotion elected
Every single aspect about you
accepted or misdirected
every attempt to remove me from this shell
Every attempt to save me from this hell
every smell picked up on
Ever since i was young
every detail was important
Every single situation
ever created I had to pay attention
Every single second, I had to live in the moment
SCARED

"Dont worry about what others think".........How many times have we heard that ?

A lot less than all the times we have acceptingly been judged!

Day 1, we are born, pictures of us blasted all over the internet showing us off.

Every check up we go to as youth, whispers go heard about our growth

And where we fit on the charts compared to who ?
everyone

Every single first day of school, all eyes on us, dress to impress

School picture day, lets profit off these kids images and apply more unnecessary pressure

Quarterly report cards, graded papers, parent teacher conferences

Who cares about your life changes and puberty, you must do better

Lets not forget sports try-outs, you made it, he *****, shes cut

JUDGEMENT

To think this all isnt pressure is ridiculous to know we measure A-Z on everyone from day one

"Dont worry about what others think"........How many times have we heard that?

Character is successfully built on a foundation formed from caring

Dont take these judgements more seriously or give more importance than:

The heart that beats behind the scenes subject to all these judgements

" People dont care how much you know until they know how much you care"

Blood and flesh over ink and paper, in person acknowledgement

VERSUS

Preconceived notions, the death potion to humanity as it kills all :
HOPE
FAITH
DREAMS
RESPECT
KINDNESS
CHARACTER

            .....­........................
            [ JUDGEMENT ]
            [           on          ]
            [           ⬇️          ]
            [           off          ]
​​​            .............................
​​​​

Horrorscope
from
Virgo
to
Virgone
All
my
things
i
had
to
have
Now
in
a
box
placed
on
the
sidewalk
As
she
yelled
"Get
the
****
out"
From
the
door-
step
Four
years
of
mad
love
bad
love
Finally
she
got
me
out!
Will
work
for
love
SIGN
Lie
She
knows
just
as
I
do
I'm
not
capable
Damaged-
goods

Life like an onion
Each year another layer
Leaving me in tears

Difference relevant
various forms
False measurements
begin to form
Shape shifting
slowly creating
An internal stranger
no acquaintance
Unfamiliar figure
visions blurred
Absent shadow
wipe your eyes
Fogged mirrors
reflect unwanted imagery
Who have i become?
Sweaty palms
dry skin
Bloodshot eyes
dandruff hair
Stubble beard
look of despair
Anger fills your mind
false illusions
Of the previous night
leave a cloud of doubt
One thing is certain
and that is......
The "HOW"
before accepting fault
You quickly engage
telling yourself
In the back of your mind
it's not your fault
Keep playing the victim
knowing your plenty capable
Traumatic childhood
left in the past
Never realizing
the importance
It will have on the present
the same childhood friend
That got you through it all
now is the biggest culprit
Allowing your mind
to pretend its never your fault
Imagination, always their
to save the day
Allowing yourself
to procreate
Thoughts of weakness
ability to misdirect
The tough conversations
your favorite sidekick
An all purpose tool
for all occassions
Especially the ones
that put you on the spot
Preventing yourself
from overcoming the past
Allowing you, to live a lie
lets not forget
Although its a small circle
we both know **** well
Creativity shows up
Imagination's favorite
friend
They saved you as youth
kept your mind
off all the abuse
They made being poor
not seem so tough
They got you through
some really bad breakups
Hell! they both
were the majority
of the responsibility
For everytime
a girl fell in love
You expect me to believe
these two childhood friends
I have always been able
to count on
The very two
that always had my back
The very two
No one could ever
take me from
They have now transformed
allowing insecurities
to be easier to hide
All the training over the years
were only suppressing
Allowing me to avoid
keeping me weak
Allowing my mistakes
always to be justified
Things aren't always
as they seem
R..AD
B..T. ..EN
..HE
L..N..S
Don't become
that someone
That will allow
your past
From preventing
self-love
Be someone
that you will
Not have to
learn to love
When you can
GAURANTEE
THE REFLECTION
looking back
Is exactly who
You want to see
Often its
the in between
That is literally
the actual message
We can't, always be
focusing on literal terms
When we have
STRONG MINDS
to interpret what we see
Into what it means
Into what we believe
and everything in between
INTERPRET

Before and after
The fake laughter
Never noticed
Surrounded by doubt
She sees that within him
She knows his past
She knows what she wants
She lives in the moment
She saw through the fear
Energies collide
Passion never questioned
But what we want
Isn't always in our time
Lost in those moments
Lost in her eyes
I would gladly
Give the rest of my life
To relive those 60 seconds
Knowing my last moment
I spent breathing
Was looking into
Her knowing eyes
Away from judgement
Before and after
The fake laughter
Before the inevitable pain

Rules are made to be ?
Followed ?
Broken ?
Or to gauge a level of ?
Control !

Rulers are made to be ?
Followed ?
Broken ?
Or to gauge a level of ?
Control !

Dictatorship
or
Democracy
Are the same?

Both
have
One
In complete control!

Person
or
Party
Both with hidden agendas!

Vote
for
Vote
Individually we don't count!

Millions
upon
Millions
Invested with no gaurantee!

Promises
upon
Promises
For all the wealthy!

Insider
trading
Inside
The electoral stock market!

Taxes
upon
Taxes
Delayed for the bidders!

Home
to
House
The super rich and wealthy!

Land
of
Slaves
The working class!

Home
of
The
Fee, it costs us all!

Hell
on
Earth
Politics truly are our sickness!

Premeditated
the words
like hollow point bullets
firing from
a mouth fueled with
hate and anger
******
she wrote
wounds all over
blood pouring
as my brain instantly
reloads the chamber
Regret
I felt
blood on my hands
remorse pouring
as my emotions instantly
recover from anger
Dead
she's gone
never to come back
she's dead
I killed her
Soul

To devote my life
to my son
To gaurantee
he will get
A COLLEGE DEGREE
and end this
Lifetime of pain
So for
future generations
to come
Possible future
Grandaughters
and
Grandsons
You will not suffer
at the hands
Of the ones
that love you the most
Because i decided
your Dad was the man
for the job
Because i decided
to choose love
Because the pain
I was dealt
Hurt me enough
to not give up
But to gaurantee
my loved ones
Will never
have to measure
to the pain
I WAS DEALT
THE PAIN I FELT
I WANT CONSTANT CHANGE
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION
TO BREAK THE CHAINS
OF THIS LIFE' S DEVIL
TO GIVE MY FAMILY
A FIGHTING CHANCE
let me live that long
let me sing that song
Let me achieve that goal
Let me save my future
SOULS
Forget my plans
forget me as a man
But please let me gain
A life without strain
A life with future brains
of being PURE

Kidnapped from birth
no ransom letter left
hostage to this life

Missing since day one
no reward letter left
gone from this world

My earliest memories
still hold me captive
buried deep within my mind

Years of torture
not always in the form
of physical pain

Years of struggle
a diverse combination
a ton of mental strain

A lifetime of sorrow held within the memory bank
of this battered brain

Yet I remain calm
pretending not to be lost
hid within my own world

Surrounded by false walls
over the many years
my subconcious built

Survival mode
has always been
the main mindset

Certain days
the walls were closer
than others

A few times
they seemed like
they were gonna cave in

To say I find comfort
within my mental confinement
is an understatement

It is all I have ever known
since that day I was taken
since that day I was born

PS: Jennifer I still miss you and I'm glad you found the courage to leave me alone

Within these walls, within my world, a soul as pure as yours has no place being

I wish I could escape and you could see me before the pain and experience the real me

But within these walls, I call home, regardless the turmoil that comes with the comfort

                          Sincerely, Rob

Self isolate, negate yourself
to much liability more likely
for bad to come
TRUTHFULLY
Unfortunately thats the world
we live in currently, from high-fives, to back-stabs the same eyes maintaining contact
COLD
Trust no one, not even god
he will purposely test you
he gave up his only son
would you forgive him ?
but please remain faithful
OPINION
Through him, with him and in him the words read, I believe them whole-heartedly when reciting in front of a mirror
REFLECTION
The reality is, we all are a creation, but to our creators credit we are given self-will and only have ourselves to blame or rely on for our
DECISIONS
Make sure they are yours you are making, many outsiders come and go and many are persuasive, selling and telling you what to believe in
REALITY
To each their own, opinions, beliefs, decisions, religion and so on and so forth etc
CHEERS

To think all the inner issues
and the questions they bring

Are solved by outer solutions
and the answers they bring

UMD
Many out there
Lost souls at sea
To outside eyes
They look normal
No obvious needs
They manage to hide
All the unknowns
Deep inside they know
They are never really alright
Voices in their head
Like they have two minds
False conclusions fed
The difference between
Real, reality and self-made
All blend together to benefit
The justification needed
To love, hate and survive
Not much else exists between
Comfort found in perfection
Life is not perfect, explain
How does this go unnoticed
Mixed baggage all piled up
Years of suppression
Years of depression
Years of wanting to let-go
Suicide known, but refused
Never really been an option
Weeks of normalcy achieved
Days of relapsing and grief
Turning points amidst it all
Promises of good change
Made but never kept
Difficulty maintaing friends
Emotions on and off
Like a light switch
On the straight and narrow
Then back in the ditch
Confident in self and strong
Insecure and weak next up
Proud of self-growth
Disgusted with oneself
UMD: covers it all
Unknown Mental Disease
To each their own
Hidden beneath the flesh
Within the rib-cage
A healthy beating heart
Within the skull
A damaged brain
A shattered mind
A habitat to a disease
Still unknowm
UMD

Be taught to teach
learn to educate

Be abused to abuse
learn to hate

Be forgiven to forgive
learned to late

These arent just stories
these arent just words
These are emotions felt
these are feelings dealt
Love these words
and their meanings
or
Hate these words
and their meanings
ReGaRdLeSs
I lived them
I got served every
Verb
i got called
or
heard every
Adjective
and
noun, proper too: Noun
My mind
the ground
Every sick, twisted, sad, wreckless, romantic and depressing thought, idea, decision was a product from a childhood seed planted
Cultivated from
a healing mind
Some call it art, some call it poetry
regardless
your thoughts, opinions
to me
its
THERAPY

The_ _ _ _ _ _ boy is _ _ _ _ _
That _ _ _ _ girl is too
The _ _ _ _ woman down the
street is dating Mr._ _ _ _ _
and Mrs._ _ _ _ _ hasn't a clue
What am I to do ? NOTHING! These blanks aren't mine to fill, these labels aren't mine to create, these rumors aren't mine to spread, these opinions should've never been: BROUGHT TO LIFE

Mean
Anger
stranger
be nice
Moisturizer cream
Apply
To yourself
Soak
It up
Dont
Give up
Again
Win
The battle
quit
SINNING
LIVING LIFE
gone
Left, right
Shoulders
One side
Weighted
Boulders
An angel
Battling
Across from
Your devil
Bass to
Trebble
words fading
Contemplating
Feelings
Screaming
**** the world
Hell on earth
FADED
LOST
COST
MIGHT BE
your life ?
all lower case
Why ?
BECAUSE
EMPHASIS
wanted
To be
Or not
But was
Conveyed
To present
The fact
you are
iNsIgNiFiCaNt
TO ME
LOOK UP
to see me
I look down
still letting you
BREATHE

Boy genius
no Jimmy Neutron
got game
Out of this
WORLD
Bigger, better
stronger, battered, lost
Amidst this
life long play
The Devil
calling some shots
I remain
a victim to
Adam still
SIN
One bite
One fight
One might
RETHINK
advice from
the snake
MISTAKE
Dont worry
great story
Loose lips
sink ships
Hungry mouths
got fed
Fed up
with
This ****
LIFE
Beliefs
Opinions
Decisions
All contradicting
Price
COST
Pay Up
Keep your head
Down
LOST

Eye dont care
eyes wont either
Wether one or two
They refuse to pay attention
Those images I just can't
AFFORD
LISTEN
Those words mean something
they accept their purpose
Wether one or two
ears both hear
Ear will hear

Paranoid
avoid
Gift
lift
Suspicions
intuitions
Telling
selling
Yourself
help
Decide
hide
Reply
try
Voices
choices
Who
you
How
now
Will
****
Somehow
bow
Down
frown
Remain
gain
Nothing
something
Avoid
paranoid
Please
freeze
Be
free
Trial
smile
Think
blink
Retrieve
believe
Before
more
To
do

When you vent
they who cares
will listen
When you cry
they who cares
will comfort
When you write
they who cares
will reply
When you can't
they who cares
wont care
They just want
you to feel
forever loved
SELFLESS

A   C
  C     E
             P
   👁👁     T   👁👁

Ups and Downs
Rock bottom
Finally at eyesight
With my true self
REFLECTION
"They say, the truth
will set you free"
But I think
The truth can
Hurt far more
Than it helps
A    C                                       N
   C     E                                O
​​​​             P                          -
                T                    E
WHO YOU ARE        V
And try to             O
                         M

To the left
and to the right
both parties listen up
With out you
both cooperating
I couldn't accomplish much
So to think
we could run a country
without working together
SEEMS DUMB

Drugs, alcohol, rock and roll music, partying and ***
Mixed emotions victim of adolescence
Mental, physical, ****** abuse a familiar acquaintance
What do I know ?
I was just the sponge in the oven absorbing every single one of those demons
Before I could speak, I knew how to communicate
Before I could comprehend, i knew how to listen
It involved no words.....
JUST FEELINGS

Grass Needs cut
Head-Yard
Overgrown
Zero turn
Gas to burn
Pleasure earned
SUCCESS

My point,  I give up on
MY life seems "pointless"
Hard work leads to
"PROMOTION"
Only work I do
is "Profit"
"Profit"see
Leading
My "Profitsee"
LOOK

Love me
or leave me
She said
Dead
gone
LOST
the cost
my pride

****
just like HIGHSCHOOL
IM NOT POPULAR

Born, Raised, Grown, Decide and Die

Yes You Decide
The In-Between
Grown and Die

The Last Two Thirds Of Your Life

Yes Only You

Not Anyone Else

All The Adjectives and Verbs

Lie In Your Mouth and Your Hands

All The Blood Pumping From Your Heart

YOUR EYES THE ONLY WITNESS

Be Observant

*******

SEE, HEAR, SPEAK
THE TRUTH

PAY ATTENTION
CREATE CHANGE

Preach
Teach

Earn
Learn

Earn by preaching
Learn by teaching

Knowledge is power
Wealth is a mindset

Make it rain
Walk on water

Money can't
Buy happiness

A valuable
Life lesson

I let go
she still hasn't
come back

Time still
wont tell,
will it ever ?

Pursuit to happiness
[]===[]ROAD BLOCK[]===[]
[]       []          I             []      []
                      I
​​                      I
STOPPED

Live, hurt, cry
not love and
LAUGH

irony

Tick-tock, Ticked-off
Angry
But who?

MySeLf

From lost love
I knew I shouldve
held on

Her touch unfamiliar
her scent forgotten
her voice I remember

**** I still
miss her
HOPE

Premeditated sin
called my name
oh so familiar

15 minutes away
Saturday night
hole in the wall

Couple beers
lead to a
couple shots

A game of pool
40 dollars in the
juke box MUSIC

FADED

Amidst these
what could be
BAD DECISIONS

I called my mom
told her I needed
a D.D to get home

SAFELY

I woke up
in my bed
rather than a

CELL

My truck wasn't
in the driveway
thank ROB

I RELAPSED RESPONSIBLY

The narcissist inside still resides but I refuse to allow that side be known again

The decision was born from many incisions born causing the worst kind of pain

The monster is still inside but I finally found a way to tame him and prevent him

FROM COMING OUT

I'm not a good person pretending to be a MONSTER

I'm a MONSTER trying my hardest to be a good person

REALITY

Teacher says: "spell dad"
student replies "g.o.n.e"
Teacher says: "spell mom"
student replies "w.h.o.r.e"
Teacher says: "spell love"
student replies "I dont know how"

From the deep-end then
to calm and shallow waters
finally at shore

Through yourself
With yourself            ⚫
and
In yourself
It's where the truth resides
It's where the battle begins
It's where the WAR is won
                 Through yourself
      ⚪             With yourself
​​​                                         and
                            In yourself

The machines governor dictates its performance
The mans Governor
dictates his performance

PLEASE Forgive me
but NEVER Forget me
............LEAVE

To the guy wearing the shirt
SAFETY in bright reflective orange color chainsmoking cigarettes
back to back
To the guy wearing the mask
SAFETY in front of your face
chaincovering fresh air
back to back

CHEERS
to each
thier own,
SAFETY

My mind is growing on me
perception becoming reality
GrAvItY NO LONGER
holding
ME  d
.... .......  o
..........      w
................... n

Thinking before doing
Doing then stopping
.............. midway
Realizing the flaws
AND
Pre-conceived notions
DEFFENSE------MECHANISMS
ShUt   D
.......... O            _Myself_
​​​ .........  W        P
​​GROWN   U

Fear motivates us
I refuse to be afraid
Fear demotivates us
I refuse to be scared
Fear is necessary
I refuse to be afraid
Fear is unnecessary
I refuse to be scared
FEAR IS MADE
NOT BORN
FEAR IS WITHIN
NOT ABROAD
FEAR NOTHING
NOT EVERYTHING
BE FEARLESS

ops
1 poem multiple comments, READ ALL
author Robert Grove

Regret within
within regret
I remain
remain i
Guilty of
of guilty
Response
response
FLAWED



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2 COMMENTS
Comments
author Robert Grove
28 September 2021, 23:59
flawed
SoLd
sOlD
born
born
New patterns
The same
LAME .....
Nah
More
Like
Flawed


edit reply
author Robert Grove
29 September 2021, 00:00
dIfFeReNt
CHANGE

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Your name
Robert Grove
Comment

Im not a peasant
nor a present
just please
treat me with
RESPECT