Is is okay to let someone love me?
When I don't even love me!!

At a beautiful beach,
Enjoying the touch of waves against my body,
Enjoying the breeze passing through my hair,
Enjoying the water between my fingers,
But there's a weight tied to my leg,
Pulling me deeper into water,
Eager to show me the bottom,
Will that weight make me free from all of it,
Should I give myself to it!!?
Or should I fight it!!?
And return back to my MISERY.......

I often talk to myself,
Asking, screaming y I am the way I am?
Questioning every prayer ever made and Thoughts ever occurred,
And then there comes a point,
Where the decision of ending it all seems the best,
But never found the courage to do so,
I hate myself for making me believe that I am worst thing other person can ever experience,
But I love myself for being able to survive through all of it alone,
I hate myself for all those bad decisions,
But I love myself for holding on to me when no one else did,
I hate myself for being reckless,
But I also love that part of me,
Because I know if I had never hated myself
I would have never known how much I love myself