When your up late at night because you think someone has let you down,
when all you ever did was drive them to their limits,
asking for a reaction but never believing that they'd actually commit.

When your up late at night,
thoughts sinking deeper in,
of how a lonely night feels like a thousand when your apart.
From someone you've spent almost every minute with and slept with so that their scent, their breath and their sounds become your own.
Now without those things, you aren't completely here, in the present, you don't know where you are,
your lost.
But you could never admit that, no, you want to inflict the same amount of tortuous pain that you had to go through just to gain some sickening satisfaction , but... it never lasts.
You eventually succumb to the emotional strings that pull you to your other half,
the half that you can't stand!
but the half that you can't live without.
I love you, please come back.

This friend of mine is obsessive
He burdens me every night
By his constant arrogant desire
To keep me up all ****** night
He appears completely uninvited
and declares his space in me
By sitting directly on my head
To defecate profanity
Its completely obscene and alarming
The thoughts he implants you see
I’ve never known such disturbance
Until he embarks on tainting me
It keeps me up for nights on end
Wires tinkering away
I can’t seem to shut them off
A frozen cognitive display
I’ve focused on ignoring him
And pretended to be asleep
But he’s never easily fooled you see
So I imagine counting sheep
I heard it was suppose to work
But lies he won again
This pesty fiend is staying put
So i geuss there is no end
Unless
Unless
We make a deal
A deal where we both win
Where he resumes his nightly dues
And I can get some rest
I tell him he is welcomed
But only on one condition
That he only soils my shrivelled brain
When it is completely in transgression
This rodent stares and wonders
The meaning of this word
It baffles him completely
For this he’s never heard
As he thinks I smirk and wiggle
An inch away from him
To happily caress my pillow
And proudly announce “I win”

Zzzzzzzzzz

A whiff tickles my nostril hairs and dances down into my throat. A taste. Tinge or so of ash and fume, cloudy remnants, grainy shards. I listen. Deep heavy air. Colours encircled. I watch. It’s beautiful. Hazy glares clustered hues dispersing slowly piercing air. It’s a mass. Now no more. There’s smoke in the air. I feel it taste it and watch it dance. Strangely dense yet so light rising stretching flowing and floating. It’s paralysing. This smoke in the air. Now dancing in my throat.

Brace yourself. The tides come in. Let down your noose. No threats here. Water deliver. The remedy’s due. Kindly takeover. This one’s new. Oh sanctuary within this tide. Wrap me in waves. Smother my cries. Engulf my sorrows with salt, a million. I’ve let go. Welcome thee. This tides high and in I go. Welcome me, welcome me. My new found home.

Wind rustles a light tumble of leaves dance across the stones ebbed within the dirt under my feet.

I’ve come to see the birds. They sing a song of laughter and sun. I’ve also come to see the plants. They’ve grown so glistening with orange hues and drops of diamond water.

I stop just beyond the fern fronds. Closing my eyes and hearing the woods. If I could. I’d manifest these sounds into feelings, nameless and brewed into a delicate concoction of oak fermented sounds, consumed and nourished. The soul is at peace.

Black milky skies
Coloured crimson nights
Risen above
Shimmered below
Suns aglow in heat and flow
It dies again to feel the sin
Of a human disgrace
Ignoring this grace
Such pity such regret
People are cruel and people forget
How it is to live how it is to be
Everything in feeling in body, in mind
to be alive to come alive and give a life
Who will ever know such loss?
When everyone just follows

As the cries of laughter echo and consume
My ears are still burning by those who have strewn. Such lies. These women prance around with idiocy grace, a shady snark of deceit and words coated with sincerity, meekly designed to hide the words, in between the lines, are glares and stares, mutters and whispers, laughing at’s and inside jokes. This I see and this I hear as I sit here drinking my tea.

Painted eyes. Do you see right? A mimic. A fake. A clone. A mistake. Tainted ears. Do you hear right? A muffle. A sound. A thing at night. Do I frighten you? Least of all. I am weak. No need to fear. This is not real. You aren’t either. But I still see you. And hear you. Now can I feel you?

I have this song
And it makes me sad
I think of you
And I know your dead
But still
I think of you
A faded image of
Straight black hair
Piercing brown eyes
A mischievous smile
Dark blue slippers
Pen marks on your hand
And a handmade satchel strewn across your shoulder
But it’s your smile
Your gorgeous heart pounding
Smile
It was so unbelievably infectious
**** you
:(


(Tear drops aren’t much use
When the boy who stole your heart is only but a memory, fading into lose
Forgotten parts. Which is why I write of you. Its the least I can do.)

Is this enough?

Exposing skin
Peeled back flesh
Inner workings
At its best
Laid out raw
As you inspect
This bodies worn
Blood infest
You take more
As you did before
Scraps of me
Shoved back in
Stapled shut
By the lies of him
Now walking
Empty vessel
Taking always taking

Will this be enough?


Glass solemn eyes
Blank and absent
Stare off to the sky
A tear
A single tear
Rolls down to her lip
“Why?”