Let's not be coy
I said,
wagging my finger
you are here to talk about me
I said repeatedly
to the mirror
so talk---
I said, playfully
or I will.

The roads are blocked
like my arteries
and when I come to a stop
there is only a dead end.

Looking at this world
the old gods will say
let it expire,
it's far past decay

When flesh rots its form
there is nothing more to find
leaving only the stench to remain
and the bones that remind.

I'm reaching for my happy thoughts
But I'm only grabbing air
looking for that life time
with no one else to share
the more I start to wonder
the more I really care
how I was never here
and I was not all there.

The weight of thought falls on me
as life understands its gravity
such a small room I think
but such a big world I tell
which leaves me to wonder
as I stand upon the chair
are ghosts haunted by regret as well?
then by taking the rope
and pulling it taunt
I then decide
I'm not so sure
but time will soon tell.

The loneliness of it all
still haunts me now
called an animal
a beast, a deplorable
chained as veal
deprived of resources
be it sow or cow
sang to, out in the field
bludgeoned with violence
told to submit daily
or else, threat
or else, ****
I can not be owned
God and Mother Nature
could never allow
yesterday I was once a man
who tasted freedom
upon his tongue
and tomorrow---
I will be a man still.

A glint of scope
crosshairs,
then a life is gone
send me home
I miss my momma
and everything that is my home
you gave me a gun
taught me to hate
I tried to soldier on
but a bullet can't wait.