I’m sorry you love a damaged heart,
I only know two sides to a story, either heartfelt or torture.
It’s hard to put down my shields that’s been guarding me for years.
I’m sorry I’m the one you wanted,
It’s not too late to walk out.

He’s here again… just waiting by my door, waiting for me to let him enter.
I tell him to go away, but instead, he demands me to listen.
I try to block out his voice, but it gets louder and louder until it's too late.
Now he's here and won’t leave no matter how hard I try to get away.
I start to go numb from the fighting and the yelling.
I try my best not to give in to these plans,
Hoping for it all to disappear.
He's always waiting for his time to break me down again.
Until he decides that I’m old news and moves on to someone more worthy of this pain.

I love you.
Watch me scream it to the top of the world.
No one will miss it.
I will hold you tight until I can't anymore.
When you're cold, I will give you my sweater to warm you up.
My ear is only one call away to listen to anything that's on your mind.
I love you.
That's one thing that won't ever change as long as we're together.
I love you.
The three words that make or break a relationship.
I stand here tonight offering you my love
Will you decline or take it off of me?

I love you,
Until I have no more to give.
I love you,
Until the glass is empty.
I loved her, until The truth came out.

The sky turns different colors,
There is no warning about when or why it happens.
It's blue then black in a matter of moments.
It reminds me of love.
One second everyone is writing stories of there magic that was there
A day later the fire pit is filled with empty pages of a story that could of been.

I'm falling hard for a broken girl.
Her smile is a mess,
She never saw love before.
I tried to tell her that I love her,
She didn't believe me because I didn't have battle scars.
I love a broken girl.

I didn’t think I would be falling this soon,
His voice keeps me dreaming when I should be awake.
I wish I was in his arms,
He’s too far gone to think of me in that way.

If I held his hand a little longer would that have kept him next to me?
he left with no goodbye,
thinking he wasn’t coming back this time.
Maybe if I was someone else, he would still be next to me.

The smile that started it all.
I saw her across the room,
She laughed so softy,
But loud enough to be heard.
I wonder if she planned to take over my life.
I wasn't afraid of anything,
Besides loosing her.
It's been two years and her smile hasn't changed.

Days like this I don’t want to forget.
I will miss the laughs and walking down empty fields.
The smiles that could light up a dark sky.
I wish I could freeze today and replay until It comes true again.
I’m going to miss you when this is over.
When this ends up just being a memory

I missed you.
Always wondering where you went.
Didn't want to bother,
Thinking you were over me.
Reached out to say goodbye,
Only wishing to talk more than ever before.
My feelings for you hasn't faded.

He's his worst enemy.
The devil on his back.
Crying himself to sleep,
Just to be able to breathe.
Wonder if the good will ever come.

He can barely stay still long enough to sleep.
Living moment to moment trying not
To ruin everything in site.
Forgetting the pain that's around the corner.
Only begging to survive a week later.
He's trying his best to make it to next year

My voice may wonder with the darkness,
It may be gone for weeks but my heart will never leave.

Tell her that better days are coming.
The boy she wishes to be will be free soon.
The long blonde hair will exist no more.
Everyone will support us,
Believe in it.
Believe that it's true.

She gave him everything but got nothing in return.
He only wanted her until she was old news.
She begged him to love her, but that only made him stronger.
He had the poor lady wrapped around his finger tighter than her loyalty.
Love brings out the Desperate in some and evil in others.
He finally let her go after giving everything up to get one last chance.
She was never good enough in his eyes, but he wanted someone to play, so the man kept her on a string.
He could have let her off easy but instead destroyed her trust.

I won't ever beg him to stay,
The day I need to his love will already be too far gone.

I don't care if she hates me
If that's what makes her happy.
I hurt her too many times to expect love in return.
If I could change the past, I would,
I never meant to hurt her.
I stay awake, thinking about how this could have been different.

The world just paused,
Everything went quite.
Nothing looked the same as the moment before.
All of a sudden I hear the words that bring me back for a second.
I want to break up with you.
The pieces are falling once again,
Will the world ever stay moving or will I be stuck in this time loop for ever.

I saw the way he looked at her,
He never looked at me that way.
The smile was bigger then anything I ever saw.
He said it's only his friend and nothing to worry about.
That's the same thing my ex said about his new girlfriend.
Why do you think I can't see how you stare at her when you think I'm not looking.
The love is there for me but his love Is slowly fading from his eyes.

Please stay!
I need you.
Will anyone hear my screams?
Maybe the tears drown out the noise.
Please stay one more night,
I fear the darkness that will follow.
I'm scared of the person I have seen in the mirror.
Please stay,
I beg someone to wake me up from this nightmare

He asked the world for a sign.
His hands came up but the earth pushed him down.
They laughed at his weakness.
He asked for a sign to stay,
They gave me nothing hoping he will finally leave everyone alone.
He tried one last time asking but no one noticed his screams or pain.
He asked the world for a sign to stay.
Finally, the world decided to help him fight for another moment.

She sits there hoping not to be notice.
Waiting every second to burst out of her bubble but not knowing where it will take her.
Ever knowing when to jump to the next step too afraid to fail.
Seconds are feeling like months, trying soo hard to leave a broken city.
Dreaming for the days when everyone will know her name.
Each day is a step towards her goals not letting one in her way.
Making new friends to fill the gaps of losing everyone she knew.
Parents that bully instead of support but just enough to make her work harder to reach her dreams.

I need her,
she is fine without me.
I miss her,
She doesn't know I'm here.
I want her,
She wants the other guy.
I like her,
She doesn't notice me.

She a broken book,
Pages falling out everywhere.
No one takes the time to help put her back together.
She's a broken book,
Hoping to be given one more chance.

I loved her.
I really did,
It wasn't meant to be.
I will fall many more times and cry way too much over someone who didn't even care.
I wasn't meant to be the heart breaker.
One day all the tears and broken promises will be worth it.

This wasn't goodbye,
This was a constant reminder that it was in control.
That it can pull me back anytime, anywhere.
I asked to be set free but instead, I cry my mind blank.
Waiting to go numb.
This wasn't goodbye,
Only the reminder that the will always follow me.

Young love, they say,
Remember the moments of their past as they look at us.
Telling us to be careful and to enjoy every second.
Young love,
Used as an insult to make sure we know our place.
That our love is nothing more than new compared to those around ours.
Young love, they say as I walk by.
I smile, knowing that this young love will turn old one day.

Today was different,
I thought I was going dark again.
One second I looked up and saw that I was staying in my room.
I was alive.
A year ago, I never dreamed I would make it to my 21st birthday.
The dark hole seemed like my new life.
Running off my friends and making sure no one ever cared for me.
If people don't care, then it's easier not to fight.
I was sad when I learned people didn't want to leave me.
They all waited and waited until I could finally talk again.
Until I could look them in the eye and say why?
Why did you wait?
Why did you fight for me?
Thank you,
that's all that came out.
In the end, I knew I didn't want to go.
When I feel done, I now take a moment to look back.
To be proud of how far I have come.

Blonde hair, blue, green eyes.
Standing there all tall and proud.
He says to himself, I made it.
At that moment, he throws his cap up in the air.
His family cheers from the sidelines.

I wish love wouldn’t fade; she would be next to me.
But now I see her in someone else arms.
Regretting every choice that got us here.
If only I cared a little more, Treated her better.
Maybe the love wouldn’t have faded after all.
Then this new man could have been erased from her story.

I'm sorry I can't help it.
I fall too fast,
Too scared of rejection.
I wish I knew how to control my feelings about her.
My mind is racing,
Not knowing what will come next.
I'm fine, just being friends.
Tell me you won't leave.

If you leave my life, tell me goodbye.
I will convince myself it wasn't all a lie.
If you leave, I'll understand one day.
I will be thankful for everything you taught me after the tears dry up.
Before you leave, tell me that love is real.
Tell me; I will be o.k in the end.
Promise don't leave without saying anything; it's better than wondering why it all disappeared.

Wishing isn't the hard part,
Trying to believe this lousy day will only last a day.
It's easier to fall into old habits than fighting a war that's been going on for years.
I shut it out, but it's hard not to think that this is the start of the never-ending cycle of sadness that I fought so hard to get rid of.

I need you back in my life.
The pleasure that makes everything worth it again.
Hurt me and I won't tell anyone.
I promise to keep it my little secret.
I need you back in my life even with everyone disagrees.
Take my secrets and spread the lies all over my name.
Burn the little things I still have left.
I need you to make me a player in my own life.

I didn't want my secret to come out.
The world doesn't understand me like you do.
The secrets hide under layers, wondering if anyone notices.
Notices the scars made out of hopelessness.
Would you leave me if you saw the truth under the lies?
The lying of saying I'm doing better but drowning in my tears.
I don't want my secret to come out because I can't lose you now.

I look in the mirror and I see her.
The person I don’t want to be anyone.
The person who I wish will disappear for good.
I look in the mirror and want to run away but she is always with me.
There is no where to go.
No where to hide.
I look in the mirror on last time and see the things she left behind.

One phase that can change it all.
“It’s okay.”.
Never knowing if it's real or a way to end a conversation.
She smiles and nods,
I slowly walk away, only to turn around to see her crying on the floor.
The ok was a cover for a hidden mess.
she would get yelled at for being too dramatic,
Now the girl keeps everyone out.
With a simple, okay.

I'm scared, not knowing what to expect,
I trust with everything that's inside of my twisted heart.
Trying to erase half the love styles I saw growing up.
When he says he loves me,
Is that all of me or just parts that he wants to believe?
I'm scared he will not understand the truth when it comes out.
I want him to hold me tighter instead of letting go.

I spent too long in pain.
I am trying pill after pill to silence myself.
Afraid I would lose the battle of living.
I got close too many times,
With only a glimmer of hope left.
I tried the final option,
Which gave me the strength to get better.

One day it will all make sense.
For now, we stay wishing for the day to come sooner.

Please don't go.
If you leave me, give me the closure I will search for until my heart is whole.
When my heart breaks from the pain, will you pick me up one last time?
When you decide to leave to me in the past.
Promise I will be the last girl you will ever break this badly.

They said it was a simple mistake.
Hiding the Scaring words behind a steel door.
Wishing one day the secrets will be let free.
Hoping they see the damage that was left behind by their broken love.

Will you be there for me,
When it’s crazy, and there is no stopping anytime soon.
If I have to leave in the middle of a dreamy day.
Will you fight for me when it seems too hard to do.
Would you sit by my door,
When it seems easier to go than stay?
Would you love me even if it’s easier not to?

Fall for me,
I beg at night while I watch his eyes wander.
Wondering why I'm not getting his attention.
Knowing I will always be the second choice waiting to be picked.
Today he forgot about all the little lies and heartbreak that came from his mouth.
I put on a smile and pretended that he really did change.
Knowing that it's an act that will last a day.

I waited and waited for someone to notice me.
None cared until I gave more up everything .

What if it was my sister?
My best friend?
The day you died, my heart turned up aside down.
I couldn't think of you for two years without crying.
There were many days I had to stop myself from visiting.
What if it was me?
Would people finally care that one of us was gone?
I told my self when it snowed, it was you saying hi to stop myself from breaking down.
What about all the memories?
The stories that we had together.
No one will meet you again.
I wish it could have been me, not you.
I wish it were all a bad dream.
I wish I didn't miss you.
I wish I could have gone with you.

The tapping my chest flat and hiding the bandages,
Thinking know one would notice.
Cutting my hair little by little because I never liked it.
Screaming when my parents called me by my name.
Wishing they would call me something else.
Making up reasons why I couldn't play videos when I was in them.
Hating my voice and plugging my ears,
Thinking one day it will change.
Still people wonder why I "choose to be trans".
I didn't choose this life,
It choose me.

Scared to ruin the friendship,
She hid her feelings as far down as they would go.
Not wanting to admit that the feelings never left.
Slowly making her crazy that they weren't together.
Not wanting to bring it up,
Smiling through the pain of seeing him with someone else.

Welcome to the month that you hear everyone stories, then the people who usually just make fun of them say how much they care.
People like me suffer every day, but usually, no one cares.
Please don’t tell me to pick to be happy.
I didn’t choose to be sad.
I chose to live, which the hardest of them all.
Maybe dying would be more comfortable, but I won’t give up to be another static.
I’m not a number that will be seen in the news, and people who hated me will make a post about how much they loved me.
My pain isn't a way for others to make money.
Happy national  awareness time.
I hear you
I’m with you
Don’t fly yet.
There is still come.
I love you all.

I don't know what to say because I keep going blank.
I hear your name and I start to blush.
I wonder if it will ever stop.
I'm not sure what to say or where to go but I know I will always find you.