Yellow and mauve, weavers and their cottages, harvests and wheat
fields, The Potato Eaters, The Cafe de la Care, Vase with Twelve
Sunflowers, the Yellow House, The Night Cafe, Fishing Boats on
the Beach at Saintes-Maries, The Poet Against a Starry Sky, Gauguin's
Chair, Memory of the Garden of Etten, delusions and hallucinations,
"acute mania with generalised delirium," Theo boarded a night train to
Arles and arrived on Christmas Day, "le fou roux," an ear cut off, an
asylum in Saint-Remy-de-Provence, cypresses and olive trees, Two
Peasant Women Digging in a Snow-covered Field at Sunset, The Sower, Sorrowing Old Man, Dr. Paul Gachet, Wheatfields with Crows,
"melancholy and extreme loneliness," 2,100 art works, 860 oil paintings,
on 27 July 1890, Van Gogh shot himself in the chest with a revolver, according to Theo, Van Gogh's last words were "this sadness will last forever."

Do each of you realize that you are sacred, that
every creation in the Cosmos is sacred? Why
have all who have ever lived not come to the
realization that all are sacred? The Supreme Being
imbued each with sacredness. It is your inviolate
worth, not the money you make, not the job you have,
not the title you hold, not the house you live in, not
the car you drive. Turn inward to realize these truths,
then embrace them. That's when you will become truth
personified, and your epiphany will be that you share
it with all else. You will come intuitively, inescapably,
to feel, to know, in your heart and soul, that love
is the offspring of knowing you are sacred.

Because the above is true, you would love
yourself, and love would be your response to all
situations. And when you give love, you beget love,
so, in time, the world would become a place of loving.
No more hurtful, lethal acts. No more harm, only
harmony. Love would be Earth's modus operandi.
This is how you make love.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks

What is a life but a second with you
in a room with no furniture but our
bed. We shed our clothes as though
they are our past and I lift you gently
onto white linen sheets. I shudder
with excitement as I slide beside
you, your golden hair a trail from
your naked hips to your turgid *******,
pink as cherry blossoms, ***** as
Spring’s harbinger, white crocuses
sprouting by a winter’s stream. I
dream of you even as I’m with you,
stroking your gracious, lissome arm.
I give your neck a kiss. I wish not
to miss any part of you. I am on
a journey of love and your body
beautiful is my destination. Though
I have traveled this path before,
every movement of the palm of
my hand feels anew. I caress
your tender ******* that elicits
moans like voices of heaven’s
angels that give wing through
our gift-giving of ****** sharings.
Now it is time to touch your soul,
the epicenter of your being. I am
seeing again the provenance of
your goodness and greatness
that complement your pulchritude.
I am blessed by your spirit. We
are untrammeled when the two
of us make unending love.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks

WHAT IF MY POEM TOUCHES
ONLY ONE OTHER?

What if my poem touches only
one other? What if my heartache
no other feels? Will my words
and passion grow ashen? What
if my tears fall on dry ground?
What if no one else is around?
Will I be alone with my misery,
no one with whom to commi-
serate? Dark clouds are my
crown;  I wear it like a clown.
A smile would beguile others,
but not my inner-self. I know
my truth. It is what sustains
me. It is who I am, and only
I can regain my kingdom of
calm. So I’ll cry away my tears
and push aside my fears.
My heart still beats, and only
for me. I’ll use my spirit to
lift up myself, and as I rise,
I’ll take along my poem,  
my sorrow now, but will trans-
mute into compassion and
joy in tomorrows that today
I cannot yet see.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks

MIRACLE OF MIRACLES

The miracle of miracles is infinity.
Those searching for the beginning
of the Cosmos will never find it, and
those searching for the end of
the Cosmos will never find it, be-
cause there is no beginning and
there is no end. The Cosmos is
infinite. You and I are miracles.
Every blade of grass is a miracle.
Every microscopic organism is a
miracle. Indeed, every creation in
the Cosmos is a miracle. The mys-
tery is why we seem to experience
our exIstence, and all we encounter
in it, as reality when, in fact, that is
patently untrue. The finite is an
illusion:  to wit, take a 12-inch
ruler and divide it by 2, then
divide 6 by 2, then 3 by 2, then
1 ½ by 2, then ¾ by 2, then ⅜
by 2, then 3/16 by 2, then 3/32
by 2, then 3/64, then 3/128 by
2, then 256 by 2, and so on.
You can do this infinitely. I did
this in 6th grade, and this is
how I discovered that infin-
Ity, not the finite, was reality.
Regardless, what remains of
the illusion of the seeming finite?
What purpose does it serve? My
only idea is my own notion “Know
truth by untruth,” a paradox in its
own making. The illusion of
the finite remains a mystery,
but it has never been a miracle.
Einstein spent the last 30 years
of his life trying to prove the
Unified Field Theory, but
never could. I believe he
thwarted his own efforts
because he was using finite
principles instead of the reality
of infinity.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks

ILLUSIONS OF SEPARATENESS

Different does not mean separate.
So why do we have racism, hate,
****** of those who are different,
but not separate, from us, as well
as a seemingly inexorable proclivity
to destroy Earth and all living creations
on it.? Is this an aberration in the extreme?
If so, it is a grotesque and deadly illusion
that has been with us for countless
millennia. Why? A gross ignorance
that has begotten insecurity and brought
us to the edge of extinction? But we
know better now, or at least we
should. John Donne was prescient:  
“Every man is a piece of the continent,
a part of the main.” We are one, both
ecologically and spiritually. Ecolog-
Ically, we know that if we pollute the
Mississippi River, we ineluctably will
pollute the Indian Ocean. Spiritually,
we all pray to the same creator of the
Universe, but call the creator by dif-
ferent names. Can’t you see these
truths? If you cannot, you are myopic
ecologically and spiritually. Get your
ecological and spiritual eye sight
checked immediately.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks

STANDING ALONE

Standing alone is the only way
to gain a gathering. That’s the
paradox no one seems to under-
stand. If one wishes to be true to
all others, one must first be able
to stand alone. All great leaders
know this instinctively. One must
embrace one’s truth, then those
who are keen enough will sense
it ineluctably, and the many will
become one. Earth urgently needs
one to come forward with truth
so that billions of others can join
and all can become one. The courage
one needs is first to be able to stand
alone, not an easy thing to do, but
necessary. Be brave, be intransigent,
be yourself.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS