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SophiaAtlas Mar 2019
They say
'Follow your heart'
But if your heart is
In a million pieces,
Which piece do you follow?
SophiaAtlas Mar 2019
There is a girl
In the front of my class
Who I swear I've never seen
Do anything but laugh

She's tall and she's smart
Beautiful and strong
And when someone's down
She tries to fix what is wrong

How does someone so perfect
Feel so insecure?
As to scar her skin with cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more...

How does someone so loving
Learn to hate her own guts?
Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade
As if her mind isn't dark enough

There is a girl
In the front of my class
Who's eyes are glazed over
Like newly cut glass

The ghost of a smile
Hints at her face
And she laughs as they tell her
"Who's on First Base"
How does someone so perfect
Feel so insecure?
As to scar her skin with cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more...

How does someone so loving
Learn to hate her own guts?
Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade
As if her mind isn't dark enough

There is a girl
In the front of my class
Who's sad that you find it rare
To see her smile or laugh

Her friends tells her jokes
Like that one with the guy
But all she does is close her eyes
And enter her mind

How does someone so perfect
Feel so insecure?
As to scar her skin with cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more...

How does someone so loving
Learn to hate her own guts?
Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade
As if her mind isn't dark enough

For her imperfections...

There is a girl
In the front of my class
Who yesterday took
The breath that was her last...

She wrote a few notes:
I'm sorry I didn't say
But my mind was messed up
You couldn't save me anyway...

And to the girl in the back of the class
Who feels the way I did...

How does someone so perfect
Feel so insecure?
As to scar her skin with cuts and burns
And still want to hurt more
SophiaAtlas Mar 2019
just an average girl
she always wore a smile
she was cheerful and happy for a short while
now she's older things are getting colder
life's not what she thought
she wished someone had told her

she told you she was down
you let it slip by
so from then on she kept it on the inside
she told herself she was alright
but she was telling white lies
can't you tell, look at her dull eyes

tried to stop herself from crying almost every night
but she knew there was no chance of feeling alright
summer came by, all she wore was long sleeves
'cause those cuts on her wrist were bleeding through you see

she knew she was depressed she didn't want to admit it
didn't think she fit in, everyone seemed to miss it
she carried on like a soldier with a battle wound
bleeding out from every cut her body consumed

she had no friends at school, all alone she sat
and if someone were to notice she would blame the cat
but those cuts on her wrist they were no mistake
but no one cared enough to save her from this self hate

things were going down, never really up
and here she is now stuck in this stupid rut
she knew exactly what she had to do next
just stand on the chair and tie the rope around her neck

She wrote a letter with her hands shaking wild,
"Look at me now are you proud of your precious child?"
But she knew that her parents weren't the ones to blame,
It was the world that should bow down it's head in shame

She stood up on the chair and looked out at the moon,
Just don't think it'll all be over soon
The chair fell down as she took her final breath,
It's all over all gone, now she's greeting death

Her mum walks in, she falls down to the floor,
And now nothing can take back what she just saw
The little girl that she raised is just hanging there,
Her body's pale and her face is violently bare,
She sees the note and unfolds it with care,
All she does is stare, "How can this be fair?"

She starts reading as the tears roll down her face,

"I'm sorry Mum, but this world is just not my place,
I've tried for so long to fix this and fit in,
I've come to realize this world's full of sin,
There's nothing for me here, I'm just a waste of space,
I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race,
It's a disgrace, I was misplaced,
Born in the wrong time and in the wrong place,
It's ok though, 'cause you'll see me soon,
You'll know when your time has come, just look at the moon,

As it shines bright, throughout the night,
And remember everyone's facing their own fights,
But i can't deal with this pain, I'm not a fighter,
You'll make it through the night, just hug your pillow tighter
So let the world know that I died in vain,
Because the world around me is the one to blame,
And I know in a year you'll forget I'm gone,
'Cause I'm not really something to be dwelled on,

That's what they used to tell me, all those kids at school,
So I'm going by the law majority rules,
My presence on this earth is not needed any longer,
And if anything I hope this makes you stronger,
You're the best friend that I ever had,
Such a shame I had to make you so very sad,
Just remember that you meant everything to me,
And to my heart, you're the only one that held the key,
Now it's time to go I'm running out of space to write,
And yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight

I'm watching over you from the clouds above,
And sending down the purest and whitest dove,
To watch over you and be my helpful eye,
So this is it world...

Goodbye!"
SophiaAtlas Mar 2019
I'm scared of all those voices
Inside my head.
They scream to hell.
They could bring me to death.
I can't let them win.
But i'm just so tired.
So tired of this life.
So tired to fight.
I just want to let go.
Close my eyes,
Take a deep breath,
And sink into unconsciousness.
After all,
Wasn't I born to die?
SophiaAtlas Mar 2019
I think I am
Going to **** myself.
Maybe not today,
Or next week,
Or even next year.
But I can feel it,
I will end my life on my own terms.
SophiaAtlas Mar 2019
A marvel millions of years in the making.
Where the womb of Earth chaotically meets the surface.
Under a clear blue sky, an expanse of bliss -
But beneath gray rolling clouds, an endless enigma.
The easiest world to get lost in
is one where everything can be found.

One can only build a sand castle where the sand is wet.
But where the sand is wet, the tide comes.
Will it gently lick at your foundations until you give in?
Or will a sudden wave send you crashing down in the blink of an eye?
Either way the outcome is the same.
Yet we still build sand castles.

I stand where the foam wraps around my ankles.
Where my toes squish into the sand.
The salty air is therapeutic.
The breeze is gentle, yet powerful.
I sink my toes into the ultimate boundary line, tempted by the foamy tendrils.
Turn back, and I abandon my peace to erode at the shore.
Drift forward, and I return to Earth forevermore.
SophiaAtlas Mar 2019
The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.
Bathing.
In the distance, a blue-green light flickers.
A lone figure crosses its path– a silhouette obstructing the eerie glow.
My heart pounds. The silhouette grows. Closer Closer
I open my umbrella, casting a shadow to shield me from visibility.
But I am too late.
He steps into the streetlight. I gasp and drop my umbrella.
The light flickers. My heart pounds. He raises his arm.

Time stops.

The only indication of movement is the amber light flickering against his outstretched
arm.
The flickering light is in rhythm with the pounding of my heart.
Teasing me for succumbing to this forbidden emotion.
Have you ever heard of a ghost feeling warmth before?
Giving up on understanding, I laugh.
Understanding is overrated.
I touch his hand. The flickering stops.
Ghosts are blue-green. My heart is amber.
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