I don't want to spend my youth
Without
In order to spend my future
With

I am willing to throw my tomorrow
Into the wind
As payment for a better
Today

I will risk what lies ahead
To ensure peace where I am
Right
Now

The future is not guaranteed.
The future is not a given right.
The future is not fair.

Today is sure.
Today is a gift.
Today is what I wake up to every morning.

So I will not stop living
For the future.
I will live on
For today.

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

I reach my hands to the sky,
Knowing You will catch me
if I fall.
I love You.

My trust in You cannot be described
in words.
My love for you my mind
cannot comprehend,
Oh God,
I love You.

Every time I fall short of You
You hug me and tell me "It's okay;
"I forgive you."
I love You.

When anxiety creeps up on me,
You calm my soul
and remind me that You
have everything under control.
God,
I love You.

i didn’t know i was bleeding
until i saw the blood d
                                     r
                                     i
                                     p
                                     p
                                     i
                                     n
                                     g
just like how i didn’t know
that you already left me
until i realized
it’s such a long time
and i was still here
staying, waiting